January Photo Story Challenge
How NOT to Have a Big Baby Crying Fit While Looking Back at 2023
A photo journey snapshot of the past year in the flavor of ‘rocky road’

It’s just rather flooring — all the shizz that can happen in one single year. All the happy-sad memories and the sheer life that can occur— it’s both delightfully fun and ‘SCARY TIMES!’ to look back in this way.
But healthy, right? Looking toward the past and making peace with it and then moving on to the future — well, it sounds like the thing to do anyway. 🤷♀️
Whether it actually is or not… I’m going for it!
Ready or not…
Sweet green peppers

January 2023 ended up being quite the odd month for me. Oh, who am I kidding? The whole freakin’ year ended up being one big crazy happy-sad odd fest.
But, in January specifically, while thoroughly enjoying the tropical paradise of Trinidad and Tobago, and the big beautiful free house my husband had inherited from his late mother, to tell you the truth I was much more jazzed about the location than, um, certain other particulars of my situation.
Looking back, it’s fair to say that my relationship with my husband of roughly eight years had always been rocky. But wasn’t that normal? Isn’t that the way things were supposed to be? You have to take a little spice with the sugar, right?
But what if the spice starts taking over? What if all you are left with is a bunch of ol’ nasty peppercorns?
Well, that’s what happened, and both my physical health and my mental health started to really go downhill. As such, I really didn’t take many photos in January, aside from some green peppers I’d chopped up. I suppose that was the highlight of the month. Nothing wrong with a little green pepper, eh?
My bro did send me a cute photo of his beloved Jack Russell (first photo above), little Bailee. Isn’t she cute? Quite spoiled rotten as well, have to add.
American retail is a true marvel

In February I spent about two weeks in the hospital in Trinidad with a life-threatening kidney infection. When they told me how close I’d come to dying it all seemed like some kind of weird dream, until they started poking me with all those f*cking needles.
Talk about a healthy dose of reality.
While in the hospital, I decided I didn’t want to return to married life. My husband’s family took me in for a few days after getting out of the hospital, which ended up being… *awkward*. After spending a few days back in beautiful Orlando for what the Brits call a minibreak, I decided to visit my two older brothers and my daughter in Idaho.
After living in another country for well over a year though, I remember being completely enamored with things like the dollar store, thrift stores, and American grocery stores in general. And for some reason, I took a bunch of photos like the one above.
Stranger than fiction? It’s amazing what the mind latches itself onto sometimes. What can I say? This was my Borat ‘it’s all cheese’ moment.
Welcome to Alienville… I mean Idaho

In March I enjoyed staying at my brother’s house, even though there was a lot of snow, which I was no longer used to having lived in the tropics for the past ten years.
In my younger years, I’d drifted away from most everyone in my family, not proud to admit. But last year I decided to begin rekindling those relationships. It was quite lovely. Under the circumstances, snow can be endured.
Mango season in Trinidad

By the time April rolled around, I was back in Trinidad and a honeymoon phase was in full gear. Hubby was like a changed man… for a while.
We enjoyed mango season, and stuffed ourselves silly with the sweet delicious fruit. Who knew there were so many varieties to try? Rose mango became my favorite.
And we planted many banana shoots, a couple of small coconut palms, and beautiful flowering plants around our house.
It just seemed like a true touch of heaven… for a while.
The honeymoon is over… again

In May I traveled back to Idaho once again. It’s just downright amazing, don’t you think, how a person can go from heaven to hell at the snap of the fingers? From sweet and loving to mean and controlling — like some kind of sadistic magic trick.
The highlight of visiting Idaho, this time, was hunting down and picking wild asparagus along canals and ditches and going for walks along the Snake River and enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Great exercise, for one thing, and it almost made me feel like I was a kid again, for just a short while.
Mormons welcoming back missionaries

In June I decided to spend some time further rekindling old family relationships, and ended up in Utah and the valley suburbs of Salt Lake City visiting my cousins. We ate, we talked, and it was quite delightful.
I remember marveling at the uniqueness of the Salt Lake City airport when it was time to fly back out… it’s the only airport, that I know of, which often features live musical performances, a grand piano for public use… and always hordes of Mormons amassed and cheering on returning missionaries.
Growing up as a non-Mormon in Mormon country was a trip… let’s just say I’ve become a lot more open and accepting these days, but I wasn’t always. Nope, not at all. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Come Mister tally man, tally me banana…

By July though, I was back in Trinidad… yes, again. My husband never stopped calling me while I was away. He’s a crafty one, I’ve come to realize now, and he managed to slowly begin reeling me back in — just like a fish on a hook.
Oh, they can promise the moon and stars when they want to, can’t they?
And those bananas and flowers grew fast! Holy taco! The coconut trees… hmm… not so much. They are well known for growing at a snail’s pace. Also, I looked up some information on starting coconuts from saplings and suggested to hubby that perhaps they didn’t get planted right. But who can tell someone who knows everything anything. I dare you to try it?
Lovely lantana

In August we would take early morning walks around the neighborhood, and I would take many photos, like of the lovely colorful flowers above.
Trinidad is incredibly beautiful and teeming with so many tropical flowers, plants, and trees. It’s a true wonder!
Money is always good!

By September things had really started to go downhill… again! I know this is all starting to seem like an extremely bad soap opera at this point, but honestly, I was wrecked with such confusion, guilt, and just general unhappiness when it came to my marriage that my mental health really started to deteriorate, once again.
The only photos I have in my folder for that month is of the new debit card I received in the mail… I know. So weird… I’m really glad they no longer put the account number on the front.
Moving on…

I don’t have a lot of photos for October, either, aside from this lovely golden trumpet hubby planted in front of the house. It was thriving! Much unlike our disastrous (and perhaps toxic?) relationship.
A Trini treat

In November I treated myself to one of my favorite local foodie treats. The first time someone offered me a double in Trinidad, for breakfast no less, my mind immediately went to those shitty McDonald’s double cheeseburgers, and I thought: why would I want to eat that crap for breakfast? I did eat them sometimes when I was much younger and quite poor. They are the poor person’s treasure trove, I suppose.
True Trini doubles have nothing to do with hamburgers though, and everything to do with savory soft barra loaded up with Channa and various delectable chutneys, including shado beni. OMG, I really need to write up something about this for Jillian Amatt - Artistic Voyages’s pub, Sharing Food. They are so fab I’m salivating now just thinking about it.

By December I knew I was done, and I mean done for good, with my marriage. But, I also knew I needed a good solid plan this time or I would just leave and end up running right back into the madness again. I needed to go back to travel — it had saved me countless times before, and I knew it would save me again.
There’s just something about the freedom to roam— to see different places and meet new people and animals. I just find it all so amazingly cathartic!
I signed up for a couple of house/pet sitting sites… and that’s how I found myself in the beautiful but chilly city of Boston taking care of a cute sweet cat name Po over the Christmas holiday:
The transition has been a lot to get used to, but I’m feeling freer and happier than I have in a long time. Time to put my big girl pants on and say ‘big girls don’t cry’.
Ok, sometimes they cry a little… but that’s good for the soul as well. We all gotta vent a little sometimes. But a big baby crying fit? Hell no, won’t get that out of me. I’m good!
And I’m ready for whatever 2024 has to offer!
What about you?
Feel like revisiting 2023 in photos?
Feel free to join in here at In Living Color.