How Much “More” is Enough?

I think I have enough now — I just want to enjoy what I do have.

I have as much of a competitive nature as the next guy/gal. I studied hard in school, hoping for (and usually achieving) the best grades. I’ve been a faithful employee, earning rewards and pay raises along the way. I set goals in the gym and on my fitness app, always trying to better myself and maintain the best possible health. These days I regularly set writing goals for myself — to write more, to write better, to sell more of what I write, to earn more from what I do sell. These aren’t goals I have to set — these are the goals I want to set. The pleasure, the satisfaction, the accomplishment — all mine. Pleasure goals — not competitive goals (Hmmm. . . I like the sound of that)

Today, as always, the main competitor I face is the one staring back at me from the mirror. I like competing against myself because, hey, I am my most worthy opponent. When I challenge myself and my previous levels of achievement — and come out ahead — I have done something to improve myself. If I compete against someone else — whether I win or lose — I’m not necessarily any better off for the effort. Just how far do I need to push myself? Every time I compete against my own previous levels of achievement and win, I have gained something more. Another feather in my cap, so to speak. Truth be told, I feel I have achieved and acquired more — materialistically, mentally, educationally, physically — in my life than I ever expected to at the start of my life. I am already ahead of the game. I’m not wealthy by the usual definition of the word. There is definitely more money out there to be amassed if that was my primary motivator in life. And, I think I’m intelligent enough to gather a little more into the coffers, if that was a goal I held dear in life.

I don’t need a bigger, more luxurious home. The townhouse I share with my husband has more than enough space for two active adults. I definitely don’t need more “things.” I am not a hoarder. The small amount of memorabilia I have acquired over the years, and display with pride, all comes from my travels and experiences in life. I don’t need a knick-knack from every small town in Podunk that I happened to pass through in the journey of my life.

More doesn’t look like “more” to me anymore. I have many friends and acquaintances who are still stuck on that proverbial hamster wheel that many of us manage to create for ourselves in life. We are taught from an early age to work hard, to compete, to achieve, to excel, to over-achieve (whatever that means), to push beyond our limits, to leave our competition in the dust — and then to get up again tomorrow and start all over again — all in an effort to have “more” at the end of the day. These are goals without an endgame. There is never a clear victory when the battle cry is always, “bigger, harder, faster, stronger. . . more, more, more!” How much “more” do I need?

I don’t need more food. I already work hard each day to maintain a controlled level of food consumption that allows me to stay healthy and keep my weight in check. More food is definitely not going to make that effort any easier. I don’t need more clothing. I have a walk-in closet with enough garments to cover my naked body for years to come. An occasional sweater or pair of jeans is an easy purchase to swing, if I need a pick-me-up in my wardrobe. I don’t need more stuff. As I said before, my stuff reflects my inner being. Only rare, random, special “things” will find their way into my space. I don’t need more money. Do I ever fantasize about having gobs of discretionary cash to fling around at random? Maybe occasionally. But, in the real world, all the bills are paid, future income looks to be steady and I don’t hesitate to make a spontaneous purchase on a whim. To me, that’s enough.

“More” looks a whole lot like “stress” to me.

Getting back to those friends and acquaintances on the hamster wheel, whose lives and daily activities revolve around acquisition, I can only look on sadly and shake my head. There are posh communities near where I live that are considered to be the ultimate in status living for those who have “made it” in their chosen fields. Some of my friends and acquaintances struggle to fit into that mold. They buy houses they cannot afford to furnish because they expect a higher resale value somewhere down the road. They are trading a comfortable sofa for a chance to snub their noses at those who might live more modestly. I have friends going into debt in an effort to get their children into the “right” middle school, with a yearly tuition rate higher than the entire cost of my four year degree. They are not happy, only anxious and feeling inadequate. (I can only imagine what their lives will be like when they have to find a way to get that child into the “right” college).

Once I understood that I didn’t need to seek “more,” I realized something vitally important — I have arrived. I am where I need to be. I am where I want to be. “More” will not give me more. The struggle will only detract from what I already have and from my appreciation of what I already have. I still have goals. My goals. The things that make me happy — without the level of associated stress and sleepless nights that sucks the joy out of life. I think I finally have enough “more.”

RECENT STORIES