avatarKim Downey

Summary

The author reflects on the personal significance of weight beyond the numerical value, emphasizing the emotional and psychological aspects of feeling "light" through healthy habits and life satisfaction.

Abstract

The article "52 Days of Fitness Challenge: Day 30" by Kim Downey delves into the author's introspective journey on the 30th day of a fitness challenge. The author shares the experience of waking up feeling lighter, not just in weight but in spirit, attributing this sensation to a combination of a well-spent day with family, a solid workout, a satisfying meal, and quality time with a book. Despite a modest weight loss of 1.6 pounds over 30 days, the author finds greater value in the qualitative changes, such as a sense of accomplishment, peace, and the slow but steady progress in decluttering life and forming healthy habits. The narrative touches on the struggle to detach self-worth from the scale, acknowledging the societal pressures on body image, and strives for a state of body neutrality. The author concludes by choosing not to disclose their actual weight, emphasizing that it is the effort, changing habits, and inner peace that truly matter.

Opinions

  • The author believes that weight is more than a number; it encompasses the sum of daily experiences and accomplishments.
  • There is an emphasis on the emotional rewards of a healthy lifestyle, which may not be immediately reflected on the scale.
  • The process of decluttering one's space is seen as an emotional and challenging yet rewarding endeavor.
  • The author expresses the desire to not be defined by cultural standards of body image and to achieve a state of body neutrality.
  • The article suggests that self-acceptance and the intrinsic value of health-related behaviors are more important than the actual number on the scale.
  • The author values the small, consistent efforts in maintaining a healthy lifestyle over rapid or dramatic weight loss.
  • There is a recognition that some days will feel heavier due to lifestyle choices or external factors, but the focus remains on the overall positive trajectory.
  • The author hints at a future post discussing the role of exercise in weight loss, indicating a willingness to challenge and update their own beliefs based on experience and knowledge gained.

52 DAYS OF FITNESS CHALLENGE: DAY 30

How Much Do I Weigh?

On the bearable (possibly temporary) lightness of being.

Photo by Graphic Node on Unsplash

This morning when I woke up, I felt light.

I feel like I don’t weigh a lot. Not today.

I feel like I weigh the sum of these things: A day well spent with the kids, a solid workout when I got home (more on that in a future post), a delicious dinner, an evening spent in my favourite chair with a book.

I feel light.

It’s the kind of lightness that comes from eating enough dinner to satisfy me, then capping the evening with a decaf coffee instead of a bowl of ice cream or a plate of cheese and crackers.

It’s a lightness that comes from the sense of moving forward, even if it’s at a snail’s pace.

It’s been a good month. I’ve written a lot. I’ve been decluttering my space — a slow and tedious and emotional process, with rewards that arrive in the tiniest increments — but that do indeed arrive.

I’m ticking things off my to-do list. I’m hanging out with my kids, when they’ll have me (teenagers, am I right?). I reading lots. I’m moving my body lots.

I like feeling this way, and I want to keep doing the things that make me feel this way — writing, reading, decluttering, exercising, spending time with the not-so little ones.

I know I won’t feel this way every day.

Some days, I will wake up feeling heavy. I will weigh the sum of having eaten too much the day before, or staying up too late watching stupid TV or scrolling social media.

I will weigh the sum of procrastination or forgetfulness, and I’ll stay in bed too long after my alarm goes off because I didn’t clean the kitchen the night before or set the coffee or put the laundry in the dryer.

I will weigh the weight of being human, with all its anxieties and complexities and weirdness. Or maybe I’ll weigh the weight of the weather.

But for now, I feel light. I weigh the sum of small, daily accomplishments, of moving forward. And I’ll do what’s in my control to keep feeling that way.

Oh, and I actually did weigh myself this morning.

So How Much Do I Actually Weigh?

On the first day of this challenge, I weighed ABCD.E pounds.

This morning, I weighed ABCD.E pounds minus 1.6 pounds.

A net loss of 1.6 pounds since starting this challenge 30 days ago? Is that really something to feel “light” about?

I told you, I’m going at a snail’s pace. No, I won’t lose that 10 pounds I hoped to. But I’m going in the right direction.

And I feel light.

And I’m doing the things to keep myself feeling that way.

Okay, But Come On. Are You Ever Going To Tell Us How Much You *Actually* Weigh?

It doesn’t matter, right? It’s just a number and all that.

Theoretically, I agree. I want to not care about that number. Maybe one day I really, truly won’t, even if that number never changes from what it is today (or goes up).

I don’t care how much other people weigh. If someone told me they weighed twice as much as me, or 50 pounds less than me, or whatever in between, I would accept this as an objective, neutral fact, no different than their height or the place of their birth or the colour of their car.

When it comes to other people, I’m pretty body neutral.

But will I ever be able to apply that neutrality to myself? To truly divest myself of the decades’ worth of cultural messaging about women’s (and, for that matter, men’s) bodies?

To say my number, loud and proud, with zero (wait for it) weight to it. To be able to say: “This is what I weigh. It’s just a fact. Just a number. It may or may not change in the future. It is no reflection of my worth as a human being. It could be the result of the objective fact of my age, or the objective fact that I’ve had two babies, or the objective fact that sometimes I eat ice cream. Whatever. IT DOESN’T MATTER.”

To say all that and not care what people do or don’t think about it. To be able to say it not to satisfy anyone’s salacious curiosity, but as a symbolic display of self-acceptance. I can tell you what I weigh because I know who I am and I don’t care what you think. It’s just a stupid number.

Maybe. Maybe one day.

But for now? For today? I won’t.

Today I’ll just tell you that I weigh the sum of effort, and slowly changing habits, and a sense of peace.

I feel light.

And I’m going to keep doing the things that make me feel that way.

Thanks so much for reading, everyone. Please check in on Friday, July 28, when I tell you about what I’ve learned about the role of exercise in weight loss (hint: I was wrong about pretty much everything).

And please, if you’d be so kind, give this a read to the end and a few claps. It will help others find this article and it means the world to me.

You can receive an email whenever I publish if you click here.

Psychology
Health
Weight Loss
Mental Health
Self Improvement
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