How Long Will You Allow the Agony of Your Past to Dominate Who You Are

Three activities to break the grip your past has on you

There’s a problem most of us have. It’s this, we live in the agony of past mistakes, sins, and defeats. It is true when we ruminate in the past, it spreads a table of gloom and doom. But there is a way to break free.

Here are two initiatives my wife and I take to smooth out the wrinkles lying in our past.

My wife and I often recount our blessings before we begin our devotions. Doing this first before reading the Bible puts us in a posture to receive what scripture has for us.

I enjoy the coffee-shop time with friends and relatives, where we get to encourage one another. We have such great friendships to fill our times together.

Doing these two activities helps us both.

But there’s more we can do to set ourselves free from our past.

“Don’t allow your past or present condition to control you. It’s just a process that you’re going through to get you to the next level.” -T. D. Jakes.

Celebrate your past as your history. It’s your story. You will continue to write new pages of your story. Write it well, my friend. I like how Pastor Jakes reminds us, it’s a process.

Years ago, I wrote this in one of my notebooks. It keeps me focused on the present, not my past.

The past is not a prophet; at best, it is only a teacher.

Today, grab on to the goodness of God, which overshadows any of the hard times in your past. Release past mistakes, ask forgiveness, move into the brightness of today.

Three activities to stop your past’s dominance of your present

Count your blessings

An old hymn we used to sing goes like this; Count your blessings, name them one by one.

Naming your blessings is the critical part. Don’t say, ‘I am blessed.’ Instead, bring to mind each expression of an act, person, or thing that has real meaning to you.

Here’s my suggestion; On a sheet of paper, write a column of numbers from one to ten.

Sit back, relax, take a deep breath and think of the goodness you have.

I know it is easy to think of what you do not have but shove your ‘wants’ aside to think of what you do have. Let the ‘do haves’ overtake your ‘what’s wanted’ list.

2. Make a thank-you phone call or an in-person chat

Tell the person in your past how much you appreciated the lift-up talk they gave when you needed it most.

Again get your trusted pen and paper. Write the names of three to four people who influenced you to keep moving forward in your life.

Write a brief sentence of something they did for you. Call, text, or meet these people who made the difference for the better in your life.

I do this often with two notable benefits. First, a smile of appreciation crosses the face of my friend. As I walk away, a warm feeling of satisfaction gushes through every pore of my body. I sense all is well.

3. Set short-term meaningful goals

This activity moves us from the past into our present.

What do I mean by short-term meaningful goals?

I do not mean setting a goal to make a million dollars or own a Texas ranch.

No, not big unreachable goals. Instead, goals making your day better by accomplishing one thing today.

Admiral William H. McRaven gets to the heart of doing little things that matter in this Ted talk; Make Your Bed.

“The future depends on what you do today.” Mahatma Gandhi

Now’s the time to stop the domination of your past threatening your present.

The Apostle Paul didn’t let his past hinder his present mission. And you shouldn’t either. Do not let the past hinder your forward progress.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:14, NIV).

Hey, I’m not perfect, but I know these three activities have gifted me with goodness in my present.

Now it’s time to make your choice. You’ll notice none of these three activities cost money. Each activity is free and frees you to put the past behind you. Yes, it’s time to move forward.

Here’s the wrap:

• Count your blessings. Name them one-by-one.
• Thank you’s to those meaningful people in your life.
• Set some doable short-term goals.

Allow your past to teach, but not control, you for a better day.

So, how long will you allow the agony of your past to dominate who you are? It is your choice. You can make a good decision on moving forward, I’m sure you will.

I’m open to hearing what helps you move forward. Not letting your past dictate your present state is possible.

Richard