How ‘Listening to Others’ Can Elevate Your Personality

It can be a game-changer in your personal and professional life

All talking and no listening makes Jack a dull boy

Yes.

We hate to listen to others, but we love to talk about ourselves — our achievements, our personalities, what we like, and what we don’t, how important we are, how we are making progress, what’s happening in our lives, in our home, in our office, and all that.

We talk a lot.

And the truth is most people have no interest in what we say because they are just like us. They want to talk about themselves and be heard and recognized.

So, the problem is no one is ready to listen to others. And most of the time, all this talking and talking is not getting any of us anywhere.

Don’t you see, there is an opportunity for you?

If you are ready to do the opposite, you can turn the game around. The ball will be in your court. People will feel comfortable around you. And in the process of it, your personality will thrive.

All you have to do is some listening with genuine curiosity. And, trust me, that’s not hard at all.

With almost no effort, you can make an incredible shift in your personality by just paying attention to what other people say.

Consider listening to others as an art

When you do that, it changes your mindset. You become aware of what you listen to and how you interact while listening.

You start understanding others, and this behavior of yours reciprocates. The people you listen to will also listen to you and value what you say.

Now the question comes into mind — how should we listen to others to get the best out of it?

You may consider the following tips. These always work well for me, and I believe they can help you too.

1. Be curious about others’ stories

Be curious and show genuine interest in others’ talk.

To do that, you must ask relevant questions that include the words -what, why, how, what else, etc. Make them feel their stories matter to you.

People open up when you show interest in them. They provide valuable information, thoughts, ideas if they find you interested in what they say.

Note: Be curious about other’s stories because only then they will be interested in you.

2. Use the 80–20 rule for listening

This simple rule will make a big difference in the way you communicate with others.

In my case, I used to talk a lot, interfering in the middle of others’ talk. Because while listening to other people, new ideas pop up in my mind, and I can’t resist myself to share them immediately. As a result, I hardly remembered what other people said in that meeting.

I forbade that bad habit long ago. And it has become simple with this 80–20 rule. I pay attention to what other people say and then talk if necessary.

This simple technique is helping me in both my personal and professional life.

Note: Try the 80–20 rule for any conversation you have in the future. I guarantee you will become a better communicator in no time.

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. ― Ernest Hemingway

3. Make other people feel important

When you make people feel important, you become the winner. Because you only have others’ total attention when you do this.

I tell you, there is no exception. Because deep inside, everyone wants to be recognized, no matter how selfless saint they seem to look from outside.

If you make people feel important while listening, they will like you instantly.

Note: While you are listening to other people, make them feel that their stories matter to you, and you value the emotion behind it. They will reciprocate the same.

My dad told me there’s an invisible sign on everyone’s head which says make me feel important. Remember that and you’ll be fine— Simon Cowell

4. Limit distractions and pay full attention

Maybe you are busy scrolling social media newsfeed on your phone, and at the same time listening to the person next to you.

You may call it multi-tasking, but believe me, this is not. It makes the other person feel uncomfortable. By doing so, you establish that you do not care for others. Thus, you ruin the conversation.

Stop doing this. I repeat. Stop doing this.

If you need to text or attend a phone call, tell the person you need a minute. Finish your task and then give full attention to the person again. This simple asking for permission will leave a good impression.

It shows that you are a person who values other people's time.

Note: Stay away from distractions while you are listening to others. Pay full attention to them if you want them to do the same.

5. Provide feedback and respond appropriately

Don’t just listen. Engage with full curiosity. Listen to what the other person says and express if you have any thoughts about that.

While listening, make eye contact, nod when you need to, smile if the talk is interesting, feel sad if it is about a bad thing, argue if you have a different opinion, but do that in a better manner saying ‘you are right and I think …(express your thoughts)’.

Don’t say hurtful things, and don’t ever intend to demean others even if they are wrong in what they are saying. When you do that, you just make an enemy for no good reason.

Note: Don’t pretend you are listening when you are not. Pay attention and respond accordingly.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ― Stephen R. Covey

Listening to others can elevate your personality in almost no time. You will see the difference. You will discover that you are now a better person than before.

When you listen to others with genuine curiosity, engage, and provide them feedback responding appropriately, you make an incredible shift in your personality.

You will learn new and important information

Everyone is unique and has something new to offer you.

You never know what the other person is going to say. There is always a possibility of learning something new and interesting.

Listening to other people is like silently exploring their life and thoughts.

If you listen with genuine interest, you will learn something new and important you didn’t know before.

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening. — Larry King

You will be a patient man

Listening is an act of patience. And you are going to be a patient man if you listen to others attentively.

Patience helps you control your mind developing your mental strength.

Because resisting the urge to talk is a tough job. When you are mastering this by listening to others, you are elevating your personality to a great extent.

You are achieving self-control. You are going to be the person whom everyone loves to talk to and wants by their side.

It will boost your communication skills

When you are attentive to other people’s talk, you reduce the chance of miscommunication to nearly zero.

Allowing others to talk and listening to them properly can be a great communication tool for you. It can be a game-changer in your personal and professional life.

You will be a better husband/wife, a better parent, a better friend, a better colleague, or a better leader if you develop this habit of listening to others.

In an office meeting or a social gathering, this will help you to get the best out of any conversation.

You will be more compassionate

You become less judgemental and more compassionate to people when you know them well.

By listening to others, you connect to them on a personal level. You know their stories, emotions, and personalities. Thus, you become more compassionate to them.

You will grow better understanding capacity

Listen as much as you can. Allow others to tell their stories, thoughts, ideas to you. And in the process of listening, a miracle will happen — you will start understanding better.

Your capacity to understand other people will rise from the ashes. You will become a better human being who understands and cares for others.

You will make tons of well-wishers and friends

You all know that good listening skills are vital to healthy relationships. It resolves conflicts connecting people closer.

In the process of listening to others, you will make a lot of well-wishers. And some of them will become your friends for life.

Listen to others and let them feel important and recognized. In the end, it will elevate your personality, re-establishing peace, and harmony in your life.

Summary

Allow others to talk and listen to them with full attention. While listening, do remember the following tips.

• Be curious about others’ stories
• Use the 80–20 rule for listening
• Make other people feel important
• Limit distractions and pay full attention
• Provide feedback and respond appropriately

If you manage to follow these simple tips, your personality will grow stronger and you will be a more compassionate, patient, and communicative person than before.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. — Epictetus

Thank you for reading.

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