How I’ve Learned to Shut Off My Cultural “Trigger” Mechanism
Helpful hints for our “trigger-happy” society
Occasionally I touch on hot-button subjects in my Medium posts. When I do, I touch some “trigger points” with my readers.
Of course, what goes around comes around. I’ve had my share of “trigger reactions” to stuff I read on this platform.
Per Merriam-Webster, a “safe space” is “a place…intended to be free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations.”
Sorry to break it to Merriam-Webster, but safe spaces don’t exist. Nowhere! Nowhere on the planet! You and I will always — always — be encountering conflict, criticism, and even ideas that “threaten” how we think.
Even in what we think are “the safest of safe places” (i.e. a support group, a peer group, a house of worship), we’re bound to bump into someone (or a few “someone’s”) whose personality rubs us the wrong way…who doesn’t smile back at us…who just…
…TRIGGERS US!
What, then, do we do???? Retreat into our cubbyholes? Throw ourselves a pity party or two? Give ourselves over to gossip, “rage porn,” or worse?
Many of you have learned how to defuse your cultural and emotional buttons. If so, share your wisdom with us in the comment section.
Below is my list of ways I’ve learned to defuse my inner trigger mechanism:
1. Deal with contradiction!
Accept the reality that there are no “safe spaces.” Conflict will find you somewhere, somehow, someday. Don’t run away from it. Meet it head-on.
2. Take a deep breath!
The headline from Harvard Health says it all:
“Breath control helps quell errant stress response.”
The American Institute of Stress goes quickly to the point:
When I read a headline — or see a newscast — that contradicts my deeply-held worldview, the first thing I need to do is to take a deep breath. Nothing else so effectively quells the hyperventilating, “idiotic” response that would otherwise come out of my mouth.
3. Embrace contradiction!
Maybe that rude tailgating driver is helping me to build patience. Maybe the angry responder to one of my posts is teaching me how to respond gracefully.
Conflict can be my friend if I respond well to it.
4. Go low!
You mean, I don’t have all the answers? You mean, I don’t have the last word?
Indeed, just last week I wrote about having to eat humble pie when a responder to a response I posted to someone’s post pointed out my rush to judgment. You know what I did? I thanked the person!
You can read about that here:
What about when I know I’m right?
What did Jesus do? When confronted with the stupidity of His disciples, He bent down low. He washed their feet. He became their servant.
What if I decide to become my “enemy’s” servant? Wouldn’t that be more fulfilling than proving “how right I am?”
5. Respond only when necessary — and with great tact!
There are times when I know I must respond. I’ll read a post, or hear someone say something, that is so contradictory to something so near and dear to me that I can’t not say anything. What to do?
I’ve found the best course of action in such cases is to wait a day or two — and then issue a tactful response. If in person, the response should be made humbly and with a willingness to listen. If online, it needs to show that (1) I’ve heard the person out, and (2) I’ve thought through my response.
6. Turn it off!
Most of the time, I just need to turn the TV off. Or quit reading that post. Or walk away from the dinner table when my wife is “pushing my buttons.”
‘Nuff said on that.
7. Pray!
This should be the first response. In and of myself, I can’t “love my enemies.” I can’t manufacture patience. I don’t possess the wisdom to respond in the heat of the moment.
What do I do? I ask God for these things. Often I do so without words. Nothing brings peace quite like communing with Him at all times — especially when I’m “triggered.”
What do you, the reader, do to shut off your cultural mechanism?
Again, let us hear from you. How have you learned to deprogram your trigger mechanism? Leave a note in the comments.
And while you’re at it, feel free to check this post out from fellow Medium-ite Tom Fahkry: