How I Stopped Sucking With Girls

Taking Action Was Key

As a teenager, I was very bad with girls. I sucked.

I don’t think I was ugly. In fact, I repeatedly heard that girls I was attracted to liked me too. Nevertheless, I did not manage to date them. Most of the time I did not even manage to talk to them. In retrospect, that was really embarrassing.

The main reason, in my opinion, was that I was much too shy, which led to a vicious circle. This looked something like this.

I was shy and always had this voice in my head that the girl I liked wouldn’t want me anyway. I was insecure and didn’t think I was good enough. This belief caused me to be shy and awkward when talking to girls, which actually made me less attractive and caused me to have no results to show for it. This fact in turn solidified the belief that I was not attractive.

This feedback loop was a huge problem. I had to break through it somehow.

Breaking The Cycle

I think anyone stuck in a similar cycle needs some improvement or some form of a win to break out of the cycle.

For me, this improvement was building my body. I started going to the gym and building muscles. Since I was very thin before, this was a huge boost to my confidence. Although I got more compliments from other guys than from girls for my progress, it still indirectly improved my dating life. Or rather, it made sure that it started.

My increased self-confidence helped me break the vicious circle and started a positive feedback loop, that played out something like this:

I built muscle, which made me more confident. As a result, I dared to interact with more pretty girls but also with other people in general, which further increased my social skills and confidence. The more I was in such social situations, the more comfortable I was and the less the beauty of girls affected me. Practice makes perfect, I guess.

My increased confidence made me indeed more attractive, which led to success with Girls. This success, in turn, you guessed it, improved my confidence.

All these improvements occurred because I took the first step. I worked on myself and succeeded, which was the foundation for further success. I think that the muscles I was able to build themselves were only a small part of the reason for my dating success. Rather, it was the feeling that they triggered in me. I felt attractive, which is why I dared to take the next steps necessary to succeed.

Of course, this principle applies not only to dating, but also, for example, to business or pretty much any other field.

Stack small wins and watch the magic happen.

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