How I Got 3,000 Followers in Just 4 Months Because Of A Strange Twist

I woke up this morning to this massive amount of followers. How did I get here?

Let me start by saying I genuinely feel a bit like a fraud while I’m writing this article.

Not because I haven’t reached 3,000 followers here on Medium.

I actually have, to my surprise.

The fraudulent part is the “how” of it all.

I don’t think it was pure luck.

I write consistently, interact with other writers and occasionally publish pieces that don’t entirely suck.

But this is not what made me stand out of the crowd. It was actually because of a very strange twist.

Let me explain.

When I look at my profile and see that follower count, I get anxious.

Deep down in my mind there’s this voice that says, “You’re a terrible writer.”

Imposter syndrome is a real beast. It tells me that I’m a phony, and that at any moment someone will expose me for the talentless writer I truly am.

I spend hours stressing over every word, every sentence.

I edit my work way too much.

I constantly compare myself to other writers and of course I fall short every time.

In my eyes, my work is full of clumsy metaphors and awkward phrases.

The strange thing is, I know that I can’t possibly be the worst writer in the world.

I mean, I’ve had some success.

Sometimes, a piece I write just resonates with you guys.

But the critical voice keeps coming bag. “That positive comment? They were just being nice.” “They liked the idea, not your execution.” “Anyone could have written that shitty piece.”

So, back to the 3,000 followers.

It should be a confidence booster, right?

Proof that I’m not the literary disaster I make myself out to be.

But for me, it does the opposite.

It magnifies my insecurities.

With every new follower, the pressure becomes bigger.

I wonder, “What are they expecting? Are they going to be disappointed? When will they realize they’ve made a horrible mistake?”

It’s a vicious cycle.

The more followers I gain, the more anxious I become about producing work worthy of their attention.

I’m reminded of a quote someone shared with me: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

And I believe with all my heart that is true.

I find myself looking at the profiles of all of you I perceive as “better” than me.

Strange Twist

But, there’s a strange twist to this story.

My insecurity isn’t entirely a negative thing.

In fact, I think it might be the main reason why I’ve reached this point in my Medium journey.

You see, because I believe I’m a terrible writer, I work harder.

I edit my work persistently.

I spend countless hours researching topics and reading articles by writers I admire.

Am I trying to overcome my perceived weaknesses? Perhaps.

But maybe it’s more accurate to say I’m trying to outrun them.

If I keep writing, keep learning, maybe I can stay one step ahead of the voice that threatens to expose me.

It’s an exhausting way to live, to be honest.

But it gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps me hunched over my laptop late into the night.

It pushes me to experiment and to take risks.

It pushes me to be creative.