This Happened to Me

How I Ran Away From My Family

And discovered how to heal with my inner child

May is Mental Health Awareness month and I wanted to share some details about the beginning of my healing journey.

Back in the ’80s, I was in and out of therapy. I was stuck in a horrible place and could not find my way forward. Then I discovered a wonderful author and lecturer named John Bradshaw.

Bradshaw’s key topics focused on the dysfunctional family. He explained how the toxic ways of his family created his own codependency and shame.

John also talked about the wounded inner child and some ways to heal from an abusive childhood. At the time, many people did not believe in the concept of the wounded inner child.

People criticized Bradshaw. They did not believe John had the right to teach because he did not have the required credentials. Bradshaw was a recovered alcoholic but he did not have a college degree.

In an interview with Oprah, Bradshaw’s response was quite simple. “The pain that I experienced in my life and the abuse that I lived through are my credentials.”

I agree with John. There is great value in real-life experience.

Bradshaw explained his theories with common sense and simple language. He discussed the dysfunction running rampant in many families. Bradshaw also talked about how to “heal the shame that binds us” (another of his books).

In 1991, Bradshaw was nominated for an Emmy award for Best Talk Show Host on his Homecoming series.

I watched the first episode and I was immediately hooked. It felt like Bradshaw was speaking to me directly.

It was not new information that I discovered with Bradshaw. It was a new way of looking at my old emotions. I was mesmerized and sobbing as I listened to his words. His words held new relevance for me.

Check out this video on YouTube and let me know your thoughts.

I realize this video is lengthy but believe me, it’s worth your time. The entire series can be both moving and motivational.

Bradshaw is the author of six New York Times bestsellers: Bradshaw On: The Family, Healing the Shame That Binds You, Homecoming, Creating Love, Family Secrets, and Reclaiming Virtue: How We Can Develop the Moral Intelligence to Do The Right Thing at the Right Time for the Right Reason.

Bradshaw has been called “one of the most influential writers on emotional health in the 20th Century.” He also appeared on various talk shows such as Oprah, Geraldo, Sally and Dr. Ruth.

In 1999, Bradshaw demonstrated a guided meditation on Oprah’s show. For me, Bradshaw’s presentation about the wounded inner child was both astounding and heart-wrenching. Check out the link on YouTube.

Note the meditation begins at the 2:00 minute mark on the video. Have some Kleenex handy.

I was sobbing during this meditation while the pangs of painful memories swept over me. I could feel the ripples of sadness and fear swirling inside me.

I could feel my breath pause and my emotions heighten the moment Bradshaw called her my wounded inner child. Waves of sadness swept over me as I began to cry.

I cried for little Debbie who never got to be a little girl. Her childhood was stolen from her.

I cried because of the abuse little Debbie endured every night of her life.

I cried because little Debbie never had a home where she felt safe.

I cried because little Debbie was so brave and she tried not to blame anyone.

I cried because little Debbie could never recover what she had lost.

I cried because little Debbie felt all alone in her suffering, neither understood nor supported.

I cried because no one saved little Debbie back then.

I cried for all the children who endure such suffering and pain in their life. I wanted to save them all.

Since the day I was born, little Debbie has been with me. She is the one who helped me endure the daily abuse. She helped me to survive and become a self-sufficient adult. Little Debbie is the reason I am here today.

After years of listening to Bradshaw, I finally met John in person during a weekend workshop in 2014. Hubby and I attended together because he wanted to understand why I was so fascinated with Bradshaw.

It was an amazing experience and I felt like I had waited my whole life to meet John. Oh and no, Hubby was not jealous, not one bit!

Little Debbie is always a part of me. I am a survivor because of her.

In 2016, John Bradshaw died at the age of 82. I felt his loss deeply. It felt like I had lost one of my best friends.

Because the topic of the wounded inner child is near and dear to my heart, I want to shout out to my friends on Medium with this article. I realize this article is very lengthy but I hope you find it worth reading.

Due to time constraints, this is not a complete list: JS Adam Donnette Anglin Norlisa Alias Lena Ann Ashley Nancy Blackman Yana Bostongirl Art Bram Diana C. Linda Caroll Carrie Barbara Cook Elena Cooper PegMeg Cypher Sam Finlayson Liberty Forrest, Author Julia Freeman, an anonymous survivor Natalie Gasper Kristina God Justiss Goode Rabih H. Hammoud Kasey Harrington Ravyne Hawke Natasha Hawthorn Teresa Heffernan Jake Hilden Julia E Hubbel Justjulieandherblog Paul Kim Kishly Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi Tree Langdon Valorie Lasley Donna Lynn Audrey Malone Olivia Marlene Judy McCord Adam Nakamura Assumpta Nalubowa Kyomi O’Connor Jeofrey Ogire Sahil Patel Ilis Trudie Palmer Ben Parry David Perlmutter Pisoglou Dr Andrea Polzer Liz Porter Preeti Ramachandran Maria Rattray Robert Ralph James Frank Sanders Sharing Randomly Graeme Sharpe Drashti Shroff Paul Simos Dr. Preeti Singh Emelia Smith Mindy Stern Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Theresa Tyler Alayne Unterberger Ann van der Giessen Martin Vidal Crystal A. Walker Lawson Wallace James Lee Walter Patrícia Williams Sharon Winkler Winston Pam Winter Joshua Casey-Wytt Dr Mehmet Yildiz

Have you discovered your inner child yet? Do you have any questions about what I wrote? I look forward to hearing your comments.

My series is complete now. You can find the links for Part Two and Part Three below. I realize the videos can be lengthy but take time for yourself and indulge. I promise the videos are worth watching. Please let me know your thoughts.

Part Two of my series on Bradshaw reveals some of the things I learned during our weekend workshop.

Part Three of my series on Bradshaw highlights some of the turning points that were shared during this workshop.