How I Learned To Say “Anything For You” And How Am I Using It So Far

My life is so much fun by using these three simple yet powerful words

My friend Maria and I were working together on a PowerPoint presentation on Climate Change at our Norwegian University. I love climate change. Don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t love that the climate is changing. I just love to write and talk about climate change to create awareness. I firmly believe creating awareness could eradicate global warming for good. No, you are delusional for not believing that.

I’m like the great Greta Thunberg nobody knows. Who am I kidding? Greta Thunberg overshadowed even the famous Leonardo DiCaprio in talking about climate change. Who am I, really?

Maria, out of the blue, stood up and said, “Let’s take five. UGH! I need coffee.” She waited for me to respond.

I replied after some spontaneous thoughts, “If you say so. But I don’t feel like getting up. UGH! Could you get me a croissant? Chocolate. On second thought, get me two. One Chocolate. One Berries and Cream. And it’s snowing. You know what that means. A hot chocolate, too. Also, one banana. Yellow banana, preferably. Thanks!”

She looked at me, probably thinking, “The café is literally two hundred meters away.”

I looked at her, certainly thinking, “Exactly!”

She said out loud, “Anything for you!”

I genuinely did not know if that was sarcasm or sincerity. The worst part? She has the best poker face in the world, by a country mile, even for a Norwegian. I have seen people from many different countries. Every Norwegian has impeccable poker faces, by birth. She’s a cut above the rest.

When I say it’s the worst part, it’s worst for me. Great for her! I’ve played poker with her. I’ve seen more than fifty people play poker with her. The outcome is always the same. She wins in the end.

I’ve made many jokes to make her come out of the poker face phase while playing. She has laughed only twice. It doesn’t necessarily mean I made only two good jokes. It means she’s good.

If you bluff her, she will double-bluff you. If you double-bluff her, she will triple-bluff you. She is that good. Prettay prettay good!

I watched through my window and went in a pensive mood as the white snow fell, “Anything for you? What was that? What’s that supposed to mean? Was she bluffing, like in her poker games? Was she double bluffing? Will I get my order? Can I trust her? After all, she’s only my second-most favorite person in the world.”

After exactly thirteen minutes, Maria came back with all my orders. What a sweetheart! How could I ever doubt her? Why can’t I ever be not a cynic? She genuinely did mean her “Anything for you!” Humanity wins in the end.

I liked her line “Anything for you!”. I decided to steal her line. By using her line, I wanted to forever confuse people who would ask me anything. Just like she confused me.

“Anything for you” could either be genuine or genuinely sarcastic. One day, when I let people down, they’ll think all my “Anything for you” was indeed sarcastic. IF I don’t let them down, they’ll think I’m indeed a man of my word. It’s genius! It’s brilliant. Why did I not use that line before? I should use that line every day of my life. Oh, my life could be so much fun, just by using that line. I sensed it. I was dying to use that line.

After a while, a Norwegian police woman stopped me at the airport while I was flying (running fast) on the floor to catch my flight. I was late for the airport. I don’t usually like to say “Classic me” but, Classic me!

There are too many police women in Norway. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If a policewoman comes with an arrest warrant and handcuffs me for a crime I didn’t even commit, you’re never going to see me refuse her arrest or run away from her. I would love to be arrested by her. Who wouldn’t, in their right minds?

The Norwegian policewomen look like Victoria’s Secret models but in police costumes. They all do.

Thank you, gender equality in Norway!

That Norwegian policewoman who stopped me was blonde. They’re all blonde. And there’s nothing wrong with that. That policewoman was ridiculously hot. They’re all hot. The prepossessing policewoman said, “Hi! Could you show me your passport?”

WOW! Is it because I’m brown? Or is it because she genuinely wanted to know my name? Or did she want to know my phone number by making small talk? It’s a real shame they don’t mention your phone number in your passport. At least not in my passport. They should! Scandinavian women are inherently shy people. They’re not going to directly ask for my phone number. They should!

I looked at her innocently before showing her my passport and said, “Anything for you!”

Why did I say that? It just came out. I could have not said anything at all and just showed her my passport. I could have picked literally any other person in the world to say that phrase and had fun. But, no, it had to be a hot, blonde, Norwegian policewoman. Again, I don’t like to say it, but, Classic me!

How’d she take it? I’ve never seen a policewoman in my life freaked out before just because of the three words I said. And those three words are not even “I love you!” I genuinely don’t think she would’ve been freaked out that much had I said, “I love you!” Maybe I should’ve also said “I love you” just to confirm she didn’t freak out at the same level.

Did she freak out because of the way I said “Anything for you”? Was it my tone? Is it because I’m brown? Did I look deep into her eyes too much when I said “Anything for you”?

It was incredibly awkward, even for me. Don’t get me wrong. I live for these awkward moments. Awkward moments get me by. Even I could tell this was too much. Even her poker face couldn’t restrain her feeling. Her feeling of being freaked out. THANKS, Maria!

Luckily for that policewoman, I had something else to chase. My flight to Rome. Or else I would’ve ended up chasing her. It’s a strong possibility. Chasing a police car. How could it not be fun?

I’ve yet to test my hypothesis that Policewomen don’t freak out when hearing “I love you” from a stranger as much as hearing “Anything for you!” from the same stranger. She doesn’t have to be blonde. She doesn’t have to be Scandinavian. She doesn’t even have to be hot. She just has to be a policewoman.

That was my first ever “Anything for you!” encounter. That never stopped me from saying “Anything for you!” to random people who ask me anything for help or information.

To people, like that Starbucks barista who asked my name to write on my Java Chip Frappuccino cup, or that air hostess who said thank you after I paid for my red wine order, Or that completely random brunette girl who sincerely thanked me at Rome for answering her question “Is that train going to Rome or coming from Rome?”

Anything for you, girls!

Not a day goes by that I don’t use that line with people.

Maria, my second-most favorite person in the world, winning just another poker game. She is highly likely thinking “Anything for you” because I asked her to give her best “non-poker face” pose. That’s the best she got!

If getting arrested by a policewoman for a crime you haven’t committed doesn’t turn you on, even if you’re a woman, PLEASE don’t read the below: