How I Found the Courage to Skinny Dip with Two Friends…and a Stranger

My drive to be authentic is turning my life into quite the adventure

This is a story about four people sitting naked in a hot spring. That might sound scandalous to some. It might be just an average day for others.

For me, it was a challenge, a major leap of personal growth, and a dream come true.

In order to explain this, however, I’ll have to back up a few months…

This story begins with an unexpected friendship. Over a year ago, I started reading Edward Riley’s essays. I was immediately drawn to him. I could feel the love he had for his wife and the respect he felt for other women and it made me feel not only safe, but…thirsty, I suppose. I have known very few men like this.

My feminine soul longs for this. I love men and I love masculine energy. But it is not often safe the way it is corrupted in a patriarchal culture. That hierarchical paradigm often prevents men and women from engaging in healthy, equal partnerships (romantic or otherwise), due to the way it strips power from women and teaches men to use that power imbalance to their advantage.

Edward is one of those men who sees right through the patriarchal paradigm, as do all the men in my life who are my close friends. He is empowered by loving and cherishing women and you can feel that when you read his writing. Because of this, I knew he would be the kind of man who would never betray his wife or push against boundaries to see where he could get away with questionable behavior. He just respects women too much to mess around in that way — which meant I felt very safe communicating with him.

This is how I knew from early on that I wanted to build a friendship with him.

The story of how our friendship progressed — and grew when his wife joined our circle — is a tale for another day. This story, after all, is about skinny dipping in a hot spring.

So for the sake of brevity, I’ll say that in a few short months, my friendship with the Rileys grew to the point where they proposed a visit.

Of course, I immediately said yes.

Over the course of the previous month, the three of us had exchanged nude photos several times. We all struggle with body image issues and thought that sharing our bodies with each other might be a helpful way to love and accept ourselves. The point wasn’t to titillate or arouse — but to be completely and totally ourselves, without shame.

One of the goals of the trip was to bring our photo exchanges into real life. Obviously, I wanted to enjoy the luxury of having models to photograph, but ultimately, it wasn’t about the camera. It was about being vulnerable and real with one another.

Could we spend time naked together, just lounging around? That was the challenge.

We decided we also really wanted to visit a hot spring, and that gave us a great way to structure our “naked time.” We could start off with that specific challenge and see how it felt before venturing further.

So after much research, we settled on a semi-secluded, clothing-optional hot spring and on Friday morning before Labor Day Weekend, we set out into the Cascade Mountains.

There was one major problem for me, however: I had gotten my period early (thanks, perimenopause!). I was bleeding sporadically and wasn’t sure I felt comfortable to get into the hot spring in that state.

This was a huge disappointment for me. I’d never been in a hot spring before and also, I’d been so excited to push myself out of my comfort zone and leap into those waters unclothed. It seemed like the morning would be a bust, except for the fact that I knew I’d at least get to take photos of my beautiful, brave models.

Once we arrived, however, I noticed I was barely spotting, and decided to go for it. I began changing into my bathing suit (just to walk to the hot spring) by the side of the deserted road. But when it came time to take my pants off — and my panties with a slightly blood-streaked pad inside — I became very uncomfortable. I still have a lot of shame around my period.

Edward came to stand next to me to guard me from the view of cars that might come up the road. But having him stand so close made me even more nervous because I felt it was so shameful to take off a slightly bloody pad in front of another person.

However, in true Edward style, he assured me that he had no squeamishness around blood and that this was part of the process of being ourselves with no shame. So I took a deep breath and whipped off the panties and pad, and shimmied into my bathing suit.

I suddenly felt exhilarated.

We made our way down the trail, our excitement bubbling over. We passed a couple who had been bathing earlier and they confirmed we were heading in the right direction. Then we passed a young man and stopped to talk with him for a moment.

Finally, we broke through the trees and found the hot springs. And no one else was there! It was perfect.

Edward was so excited, he immediately shed his clothes when suddenly, the young man we had passed earlier reappeared. Edward said, “I’m going in there naked; sorry if that’s a problem!” And next thing I knew, I heard him oofing and owwing as he stepped onto some very hot rocks in the spring bed.

At that point, I was making myself busy with rearranging my bag. I had to buy myself some time because I was sure I couldn’t take my clothes off in front of this twenty-something year old dude who had just appeared.

But moments later, I heard Mrs. Riley declare she was ready to join Edward in the spring and I looked up, expecting to see her in her panties still, but no — she was completely naked.

So I straightened up and stripped off my bathing suit. There was no way I was going to let a sister exhibit that kind of bravery without backing her up. Her courage emboldened me.

What was it like to walk naked into the hot springs with two friends I’d never been naked with in real life and a guy I’d just met who was sitting across the pool? You might not believe this, but honestly it was…dare I say…easy.

I didn’t expect that.

The photos the Rileys and I shared previously made it feel comfortable for me to strip in front of them. We’d all seen each other naked. No problem there.

And as for the young man? Admittedly, if Mrs. Riley and I had been there alone, I would likely not have stripped down for this hot spring soak. I would have been far too scared. But having Edward there, as a protective male presence, I felt entirely safe to go for it.

As it turned out, the young man — Neil was his name — was very nice and soft-spoken. Mrs. Riley asked him several questions and we talked about how his summer had gone and what he was planning for autumn. Then Edward asked him to take a photo of the three of us.

And I was sitting there thinking: I can’t believe I’m relaxing in a hot spring with three other people, all naked, just talking as if we were at a cocktail party.

It was incredible.

This experience was a major moment in my life. Hot springs, outdoor sensuality, and skinny dipping all feature on my sexual bucket list (which is more than just a series of sexual exchanges I want to have with another person).

We weren’t there to have sex in a hot spring, but we were there to be intimate and real with one another, to experience being deeply in our bodies in a place we find sacred (nature), and stripping away societal rules that don’t fit our values.

I could feel the gravity of the moment as I sat in that hot water.

I don’t know where my inhibitions went, but they seemed to mostly disappear the moment I took my bathing suit off. I got up to get my camera or water bottle several times, my back to the group, and at one point realized that I wasn’t even thinking about trying to hide my butt from view. I don’t think I’ve had a single lover who has seen my ass head-on, because I’m so self-conscious about it. And there I was, revealing it to the world. And Neil. And somehow, I didn’t care.

I didn’t feel ugly. I didn’t feel fat.

I felt free.

At some point, I started taking photographs of Mrs. Riley (folks, she is a legitimate goddess — absolutely stunning), and I was leaning back very far into the water in order to get the camera low enough to get the perspective I wanted. I realized that I was keeping my balance by letting my legs float up and apart, which meant that I was giving my models (and possibly Neil) the “full-frontal puss” view. And you know what? I didn’t care about that, either. I kept doing it because I was more interested in getting the shots I wanted than in being modest and keeping my kitty tucked away.

Somehow, that felt like a revelation to me. If I needed to flash my vulva in order to get a good shot, then fuck it. I would.

What was the best part of this experience? That’s hard for me to answer. Feeling free enough to be naked in the woods with my friends? Feeling gratitude that I felt safe enough to do that thanks to Edward’s protective presence? Bonding with a stranger who happened to be sitting on a rock with his penis in my sightline and feeling like this was not at all unusual?

Or maybe it was the creative fulfillment of having real models to work with who were so willing to let me capture their beautiful bodies on film. Or perhaps being in the presence of a woman as self-possessed as Mrs. Riley, who made me feel stronger and braver just from sitting next to her. Or maybe it was watching Edward joyfully roll around in the water and feeling the depth of his happiness and contentment.

Or was it the gentle, mountain breeze tinged with the scent of smoke from the wildfires that stirred my hair and cooled my shoulders as the rest of me settled into the hot water? Or the sound of the creek happily gurgling nearby? Or the way the trees watched over us, draped with garlands of moss? Or the warm, thick water relaxing my achy joints?

Or the absolute freedom of not worrying for one second about how I looked? The ecstatic audacity of not even thinking about all the things that were wrong with my body that I’m supposed to be fixing? Of getting to exist in the world, in front of other people, in nothing but my own skin, without having to be censored, without having to X out my nipples, without having to explain to someone that my naked body isn’t pornography or an invitation for sex?

All I know is, I felt drunk by the time we climbed out, toweled off, and said goodbye to Neil. The hot water had made my body feel loose and free, and the entire experience had opened my heart and soul in ways that made me feel something I still can’t quite describe.

As we walked back to the car together, in the shade of all those beautiful trees covered in wispy tendrils of moss, I knew I was on exactly the right path.

© Yael Wolfe 2021

Here is part of Edward’s story about our friendship and our trip to the hot spring:

And more on nudity and self-realization: