How I Ditched 14 of My 23 Bad Habits in 2023

A review & outlook

When things don’t go your way, it’s easy to sulk, continue sticking your head in the sand, and let another year go by, then wonder why things don’t improve.

That’s not facing reality.

My reality was straightforward: these bad habits were in the way of me and a better life.

I didn’t need to add more habits and activities to my life. I needed to ditch those that were dragging me down.

Start with taking inventory

At the beginning of this year, I made a list of every bad habit I wanted to get rid of.

I looked more closely at the list. Some of these bad habits were coping mechanisms.

• The comfort eating to stuff down my feelings.
• The obsessive scrolling of cat videos for quick and cheap dopamine instead of doing body- and breathwork to calm me down, to stop feeling overwhelmed, and get my body out of freeze state and back to homeostasis, wherein I’m able to think and exist peacefully
• Continuing to mindlessly click on tabs, even though my body needs a break, and I should step away from the computer.

Focusing on productive habits

I track my positive habits, such as

• Meditation for my mind and mental state
• Exercise for my body
• Language learning for my brain,

in a Google Sheet Habit Tracker.

As you can see, my streaks are far from perfect.

How come?

• I waste time on bad habits.
• I haven’t yet consolidated a frictionLESS morning, afternoon and evening routine, adjusted to my daily fluctuating energy levels, that still allows me to get many things done
• Life happens.

A few other things I noticed about my daily patterns:

• The later it gets, the less willpower I have. I can’t rely on 10 PM-me to race through 5 remaining habits. I’ll take one look at Habit Tracker or calendar, feel overwhelmed, screw all, and start watching a series.
• Finishing 3 deliverables per day is my sweet spot. I track all my work on Placker, a Trello power-up to display multiple boards in one overview. Every task, deliverable, or piece of content, I write on a card. And every day, I try to squeeze as many cards onto Today’s To-Do List as I can. However, trying to finish more than 3 cards makes me feel overwhelmed, resulting in paralysis, and screwing all.
• Planning further than a week doesn’t work. Tasks I plan on Monday may take longer than expected, bleed over into Tuesday, and mess up the entire week. Again, leaving me feeling overwhelmed and stuck. I can’t get too nitty gritty.
• Planning out only today in detail works. But I treat it as a wish list. I do my best to finish everything. Cards that don’t get finished today, are dragged to tomorrow’s list. I don’t shame or beat myself up for what doesn’t get finished. The work will be there tomorrow and the day after that.

Bad habits I managed to ditch by December 2023

1. Impulse-clicking on funny cat videos. When I notice myself doing it, I’m usually able to call myself to a halt. I never feel better afterward. I know the animal videos start appearing at the time I should go to bed. To avoid these, I should avoid the screens past bedtime.
2. Scrolling on social media. I’m aware of when I do it. I don’t let hours go by anymore. When it happens, I’m quickly annoyed by my own behavior and stop the scroll. What also helped: one sec app, an app that prevents access from Instagram for 10 seconds, and forces me to breathe deeply every time I try to open the app. I’m currently on a break and temporarily deleted the app from my phone.
3. Watching video streaming services after 11 PM. By this time, any willpower and self-discipline is gone. It’s never just one episode.
4. Ignoring cues from my body. I attempted a 30-day front splits training. The first four days went fine. But on the fifth day, a striking pain appeared in my sciatia. So I stopped stretching and went back to strengthening exercises. Discomfort is expected. But pain means stop.
5. Comparing myself to other people online. They’re on their timeline and journey. I’m on mine. What they do, is not relevant to me, and vice versa.
6. Re-installing dating apps. I swore to never touch one with rubber gloves and a 10-foot pole again. I’m proud to say my goodbye to the apps has been and will remain final. To put a stamp on the experience and as a final goodbye, I worked on a Bumble poetry booklet.
7. Tolerating naysayers or downtalkers. When I share an idea, a project, or an accomplishment, I want to feel supported, and the other person to reflect that support in their response. If that’s too much for my conversation partner, I stop engaging with them.
8. Not speaking up about what I want with men. This year was pivotal for my dating life. I stopped swiping on BS apps, grew some balls and boundaries, spoke up for myself, and vocalized my needs. I also stopped entertaining behavior that I considered below par. As a result, I haven’t needed to deal with any BS at all. You don’t have to tolerate everything.
9. Losing myself in the dating process. Not needed. I decided to let go and focus on being happy with myself. That changed everything. See #8 too.
10. Sticking to rigid budgets. Overspending 10 cents in a category is no reason to bully myself. The budgets are guidelines. Not the law.
11. Using time and energy to save money. I’ve changed my money mindset. Money is an investment. And to win time back. One purchase I had postponed, for 7 years, was buying a proper laundry basket. Before buying one, I walked up and down the house multiple times, carrying the clean load from the washing machine to the drying rack in the other room.
12. Taking advice from the wrong people. You don’t need to listen to randos on the internet. Especially if they have no experience with what you’re pursuing. To know what to do, look within, and ask yourself, what it is that you WANT to do.
13. [not listed on last year’s list] I stopped drinking coffee. It gave me heart palpitations and minor hand tremors. It also increased my anxiety, tenfold. When the first thing I needed in my system to function was a Club Mate? I realized I was dealing with a minor addiction. I don’t like to feel externally dependent on items. So I got rid of it. When I now drink a caffeinated drink, it’s once a week or less, by choice, just for the taste.
14. [not listed on last year’s list] People pleasing. I’ve learned it’s not my responsibility to manage someone else’s emotional state. “No, thanks” is a full sentence. I also don’t feel the need anymore to respond to messages and emails at the snap of one’s fingers. I take my time, collect my thoughts, and reply when I am ready. Or not at all.

Bad habits I intend to ditch in 2024

1. Going to bed ultra late due to…
2. Staring at screens beyond 11 PM. It interferes with my sleep. By 11 PM, my brain is toast anyway. It leads to scrolling through random animal videos or autoplaying series. And this is dangerous. One blink and it’s 3 AM.
3. Comfort eating. Whenever I comfort eat, I really need me-time, be it meditation, a walk, run, gym session, dance class, journaling, reading a book, a hug, or talking to a friend.
4. More screen breaks when working. Looking outside, at the ceiling. Just anywhere but the screen. Stepping away from the laptop to grab the phone is not the intention either.
5. Not getting up and moving/stretching in between work sessions.
6. Dressing like a potato. I love working from home. Commuting is a waste of time. But I take it too far with my outfits sometimes.
7. Going grocery shopping while already hungry. This leads to impulse purchases, buying sugary or fatty junk food to feed my cravings. Oh, and going over budget.
8. Skipping the warmup at dance class. It often leads to muscle tears. If I arrive on time, I’ll be fine.
9. Buying junk food. It won’t last. No matter how much I buy, I’ll shove it down my throat the same day. It’s better to get fruits, nuts, or veggies instead. I plan to make a simple meal plan too, so I never have to think about food again and stick to that.
10. Maintain a clear cut-off time from work. Otherwise, I’ll just keep staring at the screen, long after my brain has shut down for the day.

My approach to ditching bad habits in 2024

It’s similar to that of 2023.

• Don’t do more. Do less of what’s bad.
• Tempted to do a bad habit? Replace it with a better one.
• No brain to think and you’re about to do your bad habit? Look at the spreadsheet to decide what to do now.

Overall, I got rid of more bad habits than those still left. And I’m proud of that.

But starts with taking an honest, sometimes confronting look at yourself, and acknowledging problems. And making a consistent, conscious effort to tackle them.