How elderly are emotionally abused by their adult children…
pretend to get care, manipulate relentlessly, cause drama with other siblings…
My first essay (at bottome) discussed ways that the elderly are abused by their children by lack of respect but unfortunately the abuse goes beyond this so must continue with part two of this three part series on how the elderly are emotionally abused.
First a side note: I chose the crescent moon above for the image because I wanted to show that the twilight years beyond ???? that is for each person to decide not a set age or due to retirement or a disability. Thank you.
Ways the elderly are abused
Not getting them care despite many falls and trips to the ER- this happened to a friend of mine, her dad was at the hospital every other week due to falling in the middle of the night. I spent 5 minutes with the ER doctor and he got the diagnosis needed to get around the clock supervised care.
It should not be standard practice to visit the ER every other month or week or year really with accidents. There are simple questions to detect dementia and other brain type of disorders they might be suffering from.
- How is your short term memory? (ask what they ate for breakfast)
- Do you know who the president of the USA or X Y Z country is?
- Do they know the day of the week or can they figure it out with some light help?
Now these questions are not for all the twilight persons, no, it is an example because each person being examined mentally for cognitive decline is different and maybe they never knew the president, really this does exist or perhaps further testing needs to be done. Always consult with a professional if you have concerns.
Letting them get bored due to lack of mobility. When people of any age stop driving or don’t get their licenses which is common some areas, they lose the chance to get out in the community even to visit the pharmacy where they knew the staff especially the pharmacist.
Making sure they have plenty to keep them enjoying their years of no longer working and caring for a family. At independent living facilities there are activities every day of the week throughout the days so this can be a good option if they need a place to live other than someone’s home which is common here also.
The problem is that there is so much to be done! Working full time, raising kids and caring for their parents is the lot of many women these days and I’m sure some men also. There isn’t time to think ahead and prepare the next stage of their parents life.
I am making a 50 year plan for myself that ends up living with my nana when it is required. It is good to have wonderful daughter who loves to spend time with you but not yet I got some living with my India, Som Dutt to do!
Psychological manipulation
Trying to psychologically manipulate them away from the other siblings.
When there is money to be shared this can happen very easily to the most unaware of siblings.
There is no formula for this one but all siblings who are kind and don’t really care about the money stay close to your parents as possible to make sure no one is up to any fishy business.
Believe it or not I had one case last year where the sibling purposely changed the medication in effort to gain the inheritance. She wasn’t caught by the police and probably would have claimed Euthanasia but the smart sibling was on top of the situation and the mom is now happily safe away from further abuse.
I help a lot of crazy cases.
I know I am a bit jaded to just write without emotion about such travesties but it is good for others to also be aware and involved in their parent’s lives if that is a safe place to be.
Peace to all!
MMD
Click here to read essay one of this 3 part series… thank you for your support! And check out the publication this is in Recovery from Emotional abuse 101 at the top you can click on it.