WRITING

How Do We Create Magic Storytelling Without Violence?

And yes, J.K. Rowling, stereotyping is violence. Let’s create new narratives.

Violence is the opposite of trust

It becomes clearer and clearer to me that we need new narratives in our broken world. And at this moment I’m helping a great group of women entrepreneurs find their voices to create these new narratives.

All in their own way. All in their own forms. All with their own unique voices, different opinions, and diverse walks of life.

This week, we talked about the Hero’s Journey. A story structure, written about by Joseph Campbell. And we talked about the Heroine’s Journey. And in what way this journey is different. How it can be a starting point for creating new narratives for the future.

One part of it is that the Heroine’s Journey does not promote violence. We use catalysts and contrasts instead of conflicts to keep our narratives interesting. To create pageturners. And in this story, I will try to explain the difference.

Image and Loudness

We have been living in a patriarchal society for a long time now. And it means much more than just that men are making the rules. It means that we have been living in a way that concentrates mainly on the surface.

The outside world seems to be all there is. Image rules. Loudness rules. And we take all this loudness into our being and feed our image with it. All the time holding the fear that other people judge us.

We make everything personal. And start wars with it.

My point is that real substance suffers this way. And we end up losing, all of us. We need new narratives to change our broken world.

Image rules. Loudness rules. And we take all this loudness into our being and feed our images with it.

The Heroine’s Journey is a storytelling journey that works the other way around. It doesn’t go from the outside in. It emerges from the inside out. We find the substance in ourselves and narratives emerge.

And we share them. With care.

One story has one subject, but it does use angles and diversity to make the point of the story. One piece of advice to the storytellers: don’t try to be complete in one story. We are just too complex, layered beings for that.

Only in a complete oeuvre, a complete portfolio, the complex layers of the storyteller can fully be understood.

New Narratives Without Violence

So I told the heroines in my Authentic Storytelling teaching that we need new narratives without violence. And one of the participants asked: “What is violence in your opinion?”

A very good question.

I tried to explain there and then that the edge of violence in stories is thin. And it is more about the reaction to violence than the violence itself.

Storytellers have been taught all the time: narratives need conflict to be pageturners. To keep the readers (and watchers of films) interested. Draw them in and keep them hooked.

In our patriarchal world, storytellers have been doing that from the outside in. Lots of loud battle, fast cars, and fierce destruction. And I tried to explain that we do not need conflict in our stories, we need catalysts and contrasts.

Catalysts Compared to Conflicts

A catalyst might seem ‘bad’ but is instead a force to make space for new things to emerge. The results of a catalyst might be ‘bad’ but we have to separate the catalyst itself and the results.

Let me give you an example.

In nature, a hurricane is a catalyst. We perceive it as bad because a lot of damage is done and a lot of people might be killed. But nature knows no good or bad. Dying is not bad in nature’s logic. Dying is a way to make space for new things to emerge.

And nature is designed in such a way that when some material object or living being dies, she will be food for new things.

If a beautiful tree full of cherry blossoms is caught up in fierce winds (catalyst), she might lose her blossoms. They fall to the ground and become compost for the roots of the tree. New branches, new leaves will be formed with the food that the dead blossoms give to the roots.

So, how does this compare to conflict?

Conflict is something outside ourselves that we take in and react to in our beings. Conflict is also not bad in itself. It is the hurtful intention of conflict and the inner reaction of the two people involved that makes it toxic.

Here, the thin line between violence, conflict, and catalyst is born. I want to use the word catalyst because the word conflict has been used as a necessary ingredient in the patriarchal stories for too long.

People who are convinced of one specific fact and want to convince others of that fact, use conflict to make their point. They take the fact out of its context and frame it. And then the fact becomes toxic.

There are attackers in conflict. There are victims. And polarization is getting fiercer and fiercer. People cannot see diversity anymore. People hide behind the safe walls of like-minded people.

As a result, people do not dare to come out of their shells anymore. And they become more and more violent in lashing out at others.

What Is Violence Then?

Violence in stories is fighting with the intent to hurt and portraying that as normal. Violence is trolling on social media. Violence is bullying and making the bully get away with it in our stories. Violence is portraying nature as bad and something that has to be fought.

Violence is the opposite of trust.

Violence is also stereotyping. It’s time we give diverse people a voice in our narratives. It’s time we make our stories about humans with complex beating hearts, finding their inner strengths, and overcoming their victimhood.

It’s time to stop trying to convince others you are the only person who’s right. And it’s time to stop claiming victimhood when another person has another opinion. Let’s show that we can handle diversity without going to war.

It’s time to put some deep listening into our stories. And tell layered stories full of wisdom enlightened from different angles.

The whole situation with J.K. Rowling might be a good example.

J.K. Rowling and the Transgender-debate

For the one who missed it: J.K. Rowling is the famous writer of the Harry Potter books and she has been trying to convince people via twitter that transgenders are dangerous for ‘real women’. The transgender-world fights back fiercely. A war has been born.

J.K. Rowling is a very influential writer. And that gives her responsibility. Her stories are read by many and believed by many. That gives her even more responsibility. So if she stereotypes, she pollutes our world. And makes the world unliveable for transgenders. This is not okay. This is violence.

If J.K. Rowling stereotypes, she pollutes our world

In J.K. Rowling’s latest book, she portrays a criminal, who is cross-dressing to gain his female victim’s trust. She takes a fact: some transgenders cross-dress. And she puts it in a context where it seems like all cross-dressing transgenders are dangerous criminals. This is stereotyping. And stereotyping is violence.

When the transgender world fights back in the debate on social media, she stereotypes herself as a small, fragile woman and claims victimhood. This kind of stereotyping is violence as well.

She enhances our current patriarchal narrative and says: weak, victimized women are normal and have to be protected.

Well, it’s just not true. Diversity is normal. Strong, wise women are normal. And wise, trustworthy transgenders are normal.

J.K. Rowling is a famous writer. She has a big influence. She creates a toxic narrative that many other famous influencers fall for, head over heels. She should have known better. Been wiser. Heal her phobia instead of polluting our world with it.

I rest my case. We need new narratives.

“Wise souls speak loudly in silence” — quote by unknown

Here’s a story by J.K. Rowling herself about why she’s speaking out on the transgender issue.

And here’s a story from Sady Doyle about the J.K. Rowling transgender debate and how it pollutes the world for transgenders.

Sady says: “Rowling’s TERFdom clearly informs her fiction. Her most recent crime novel, Troubled Blood, doubles down by featuring a plot about a male killer who gains his female victims’ trust by cross-dressing, calling upon some of the most ancient and hateful stereotypes of trans women.”

Speaking My Truth

I personally believe in making up our own minds about things. Following my own intuition. But I also believe very strongly that my view should not exclude others from living. And I believe strongly in trusting people.

Everybody is trying to live their best lives. And it’s not up to me to make life unbearable for anybody else or any other species in nature either.

So yes, I’m walking the thin line of violence, conflict, and catalysts myself by writing this story. J.K. Rowling will not agree with my view and hide deeper within her victimhood.

We definitely have different perspectives.

J.K. Rowling lives from fear. I like to live with love. And yes, there’s definitely a judgment in here. I’m not beating around the bush. Being lovey-dovey or soft. I choose my words with care and walk the thin line in my own, personal way. Making my point.

I think it’s very important that storytellers choose their words with care. I make them flow out of my being in a way honest to my personal values. I use contrast. I use catalysts. But I stay true to my peaceful values.

I am a builder more than a fighter. Some of my friends argue that fighting is necessary to be heard in this loud, competitive, patriarchal world. Well personally, I believe in peaceful protest more. But they do have a point. And standing up for your rights is a good thing.

But I just love to inspire a longing in people. Using humor. Using contrast without conflict. Being a catalyst without trolling. Using space and time and magic.

Using my passion to inspire people to make their own judgments. Instead of trying to convince people to join me in a fight against something or someone. I like to be curious. And ask questions. And then I use the wonderfully diverse answers I get in my stories.

Sometimes I feel the anger within myself and I flow in a furious rant. But those stories I will edit fiercely afterward. I will ask myself honest questions: do I intend to hurt with this story? Why? Is it my own fear speaking? Some stories just don’t get published then.

I will heal myself first and try to write a story full of contrast again later.

I personally just believe in peaceful protest more

Whoah, this has become a layered and difficult story for me. I really hope the readers will get my point about violence in narratives. But the only way I can really know if this story comes across is by reading the comments later.

Because my readers and me, we have different perspectives.

My Advice for Storytellers

• Create your stories from the inside out. Use your head and your heart to find the stories that matter to you. And shape them in a sharing form that is layered and wise and still suspenseful.
• Yes, use catalysts and contrasts. And make ‘bad’, catalytic events happen in your story and make your characters deal with them. Make them grow into wiser beings.
• No, don’t make conflicts seem normal. It should not be normal that people fight with an intent to hurt. So if this kind of conflict happens in your story, always make sure the heroine finds her strength and overcomes her victimhood.
• You might use forgiveness in your story in such a way that it’s not about making the behavior of the perpetrator seem right. Describe forgiveness as a way to find your protagonist’s own strength and wisdom. Make forgiveness into a tool for healing.
• Make a strict line between writing and editing. Before you start flowing as a writer, have a look at the structure you want to use. In this case the heroine’s journey. Then forget your head and flow from your heart. When you’re finished, take some time off. Do other things. Bodywork? Sleep? And when you come back to the story, be your own fierce editor. Read it as a reader would. ‘Kill your darlings’ (the bits that do not help the storyline) and see if you did enough ‘show, don’t tell’. And if you spot stereotyping, ask yourself questions. And heal. And put some diversity in there.

Violence is the opposite of trust.

Let’s choose trust in the telling of our stories.

Entrepreneurial Heroines

For anyone who’s curious. I’m part of this Heroine’s Journey Autumn Camp with my teaching on Authentic Storytelling. It’s a course to create conscious business models founded by iCanay.

Heroine’s Journey

And if you want more wisdom on the Heroine’s Journey in storytelling, please have a look at the work of Heather Jo Flores.

She is much fiercer than I am in her resistance to patriarchy. She has a completely different voice than I have. But I admire her work very much! And she has much wisdom to share about her Heroine’s Journey deep research and has a clear way of teaching.

Happy storytelling, dear heroines. iCanay, Cigdem, and all other heroines who have no Medium profiles (yet). I’m mighty curious about what you all come up with next week!

I’m always open to comments. You can find me here: LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, ManyStories or my website.

© Désirée Driesenaar