Inspiration, Life Lessons, Memoir
How a Village Taught Me to Meditate
Envy: An unexpected lesson I learned about my envy of others
My father taught me how to ride my first two-wheeler, roll my tummy, and snap a Polaroid, but he didn’t teach me how to meditate. I had no urge to sit still, eyes closed, silent, and mindless for endless minutes for no apparent reason.
Meditation is boring, boring, boring…
When I was nine, I’d run home from school and see my father meditating, cross-legged, and silent on the front balcony. I bounded upstairs to say hello, but no matter how loudly I whispered or how rapidly I tapped his shoulder, he wouldn’t budge from his “Buddha-like” demeanor. I thought to myself: Meditation is boring, boring, boring. I can’t wait until Baba’s done so we can play.
Baba and I created our own secret language to speak gibberish to each other, and we’d laugh while my mother shouted out to us in our Mandarin tongue to stop making nonsense and ordered us to wash our hands for supper. To challenge each other’s strength and flexibility, Baba and I would sit in the lotus position, heave our bodies up onto our hands and knees, and race each other across the living room.
Maybe I’ll try it someday when I’m really old because Baba says it’s good for you.
I inherited my father’s agility, flexibility, and sense of humor, but focusing on breathing and quieting my mind down was a daunting task. I preferred daydreaming, pretend play, and reading for quiet time. But I thought, maybe I’ll try it…someday.
I attempted meditation in my adulthood when my life partner invited me to practice with him at a meditation center during the early months of our relationship. My mind wandered. The floor was hard. Instead of quieting my thoughts, I thought of what color I should paint my toenails and mumbled the words “boring, boring, boring” under my breath, like my nine-year-old self coupled with “when the f*ck will this be over?” racing through my adult mind.
I opened my eyes and looked over at my partner to see if his eyes were closed.
They were, and so were everyone else’s. When they struck the bell, I breathed a sigh of relief. I pretended I was experiencing joy because isn’t meditation a meaningful activity to do together as a new couple to expand interests beyond the bedroom of everyday hot sex? When my partner asked me what I thought of the session, I lied and said it was a great way to calm the mind and that I couldn’t wait to try again, but I think we both knew we’d rather be having sex.
I reattempted meditation a dozen years later after my father was released from the hospital due to illness and returned to his healthy, agile 90-year-old self. Together we visited the Buddhist temple, took off our shoes, and practiced meditation.
The “boring” mantra paced through my mind, but I thought I was being a dutiful daughter, learning meditation, and spending time with my father. He told me he preferred practicing his own meditation at home on his own time rather than the structured sessions, and we stopped practicing together.
It wasn’t until the pandemic that I reconsidered meditation.
My brother-in-law volunteered to teach online schooling to my nine-year-old son and his peers during the government-ordered school closures. “Mr. B’s” lesson plans revolved around learning about music, the pandemic, mindfulness, and meditation.
One evening after supper, my son put away his dishes and announced:
“I need to go meditate.”
“Oh, is that the homework from Mr. B today?”
“No, but I’m supposed to do it every day on my own.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that! Where do you do it, and for how long?
“In my room for one minute, after I put away my dishes.”
I was proud that my son dutifully practiced meditation on his own accord, but I wondered, did the “boring” mantra race through his mind? He told me it calms and refocuses his thoughts.
He must have inherited his father’s and grandfather’s genes for adhering to meditation practice. When I told him he must have his Daddy’s genes, he replied, “What? I don’t wear Daddy’s jeans!”
Although my initial internal reaction is “boring,” whenever I think of meditation, it’s a self-challenge that’s long been penciled on my bucket list to commit to regularly practicing because of its many benefits.
Benefits of Meditation
Meditation experiences help people reduce anxiety and stress, calm your mind, sleep better, enhance self-awareness, and boost confidence. My wise, nonagenarian father believes it extends longevity.
I contemplated my current situation and realized,
- My son’s daily meditation practice is inspirational.
- The pandemic causes me anxiety, but I now have more home time.
- Coincidentally, a friend invited me to join a “21 Days of Abundance Meditation Challenge and Experience with Deepak Chopra.
F*ck. The universe was forcing me — ahem, calling upon me — to attempt meditation again because these three things aligned, so I accepted her invitation. Each day, my friend sent out via WhatsApp a daily intention, mantra, guided meditation recording, and reflective tasks (to be recorded in my notebook) to our group of participants.
I was hypnotized.
Instead of the “boring” mantra running through my mind, I was awakened with 15 minutes of peaceful music, guided by the calm, soothing voice of Deepak Chopra, whose words hypnotized me to stay the course over 21 days, and a daily self-mantra to be repeated during the meditation session and throughout the day.
If it weren’t for his therapeutic voice and profound messages, I imagine I may have tuned out and contemplated painting my toenails a different color every day during each session, but instead, the recordings kept me engaged, and I looked forward to them.
Before or after the thoughtful practice, I worked on the assigned daily task. Whenever I completed my practice and task for the day, I sent a message to the meditation group, indicating I was done, followed by a “green checkmark.”
Now 21 days later,
I’ve completed the meditation challenge and found myself awakened in 21 abundant ways:
- I no longer think meditation is “boring, boring, boring.”
- It set structure to my day.
- Sending the “green checkmark” gave me great satisfaction.
- I can wear pj’s during meditation.
- I carved out space for “me time.”
- “Me time” was often interrupted by the child living in my house.
- My son is the child who inspired me to try meditation.
- I love and miss writing in my notebook.
- I can’t read my own handwriting.
- Slow down, read, listen, and reflect.
- I’m grateful for life, nature, and purpose.
- I’m scared but stronger, braver, smarter than I think (I think).
- Life’s better when I try, persevere, love, and give.
- I love and trust many people. Many people love me back.
- It’s tough to live in the moment, but when I do, I experience joy.
- We’re spiritually connected in our universe.
- Understanding this helps me feel empathy for others, even if they hurt me.
- If I embrace my potential and share creativity, I can chase my dreams.
- Understanding abundance enabled abundance to flow into my life.
- I can find a way to fulfill my true purpose in life.
- Because everything I desire is within me.
This meditation challenge is how I discovered the significance of abundance and how I found my inner shine and reduced my anxieties.
An unexpected lesson I learned.
It also taught me an invaluable unexpected lesson in “seeing the light” with a personal issue; my own insecurities and envy of others.
Now, when I see others excel or who have the “never-ending spotlight” in their lives on social media, I step back, remind myself there’s no reason for me to envy them if I see them as better writers, braver adventurers, or whether they have stronger physiques, talents or capabilities than me because there is no shortage of abundance. It doesn’t “end,” and it’s not “only available to certain individuals” because abundance is within our reach everywhere, every day for every person.
I learned that true abundance is seeing the shine in other human beings and acknowledging them by embracing them through acceptance, love, kindness, gratitude, and encouragement.
If I doubt my own capabilities because I’m comparing myself in a negative light to others, I know I need to shift focus and find gratitude for my own strengths and life. I appreciate that every person is on their own unique, individual life journey and respect that. I also understand that this 21-day meditation challenge or any meditation experience will have a different meaning and outcome for each person.
My newfound philosophy is to respect this knowledge and appreciate other people’s shine and beauty without judgment. Knowing that abundance is limitless made me try harder in my personal life and enabled me to open my arms and give encouragement to others, and as a result, lessen or override any envious feelings I may have towards them.
I hope to share and celebrate people’s individual contributions to our society by offering them appreciation and support in some way, whether it’s through words of encouragement, acknowledgment, empathy, or gratitude.
This gives me purpose, hope and makes me feel like I’m contributing in a meaningful way with this small gesture by making others shine brighter because we all shine in different types of ways, and when we encourage and support each other, we brighten our days.
It takes a village to meditate — over a few decades.
Sometimes it takes the memory of my nine-year-old self, a new love relationship, a 90-year-old father, a teacher, a nine-year-old son, a pandemic, a friend, and the voice of a spiritual meditation guru, to push through the barriers of anxiety and procrastination to commit myself to devote time, energy, and repetitive actions to something I know innately will lead me toward the path of living a healthier, mindful, abundant life.
Sometimes it’s the magic simplicity of good timing.
The original version of this story was published in Elephant Journal. This article has been re-titled, its theme altered and the story has been revised significantly by the author from its original form.
About the Author: Mary Chang is an award-winning short story fiction writer, published memoir article writer, blogger, and Medium newbie writer striving to become a better human, parent & writer. Her stories are inspired by exercise, humor & people. Fueled by cartwheels, headstands, the crow pose, and cold ocean swims in between meditation. Spark that inner fire & find your shine. Read her blog at www.marychangstorywriter.com.
