Life Lessons, Swimming, Perseverance

Reaching “The Other Side”

Braving cold waters — one swim at a time.

It’s too far away.

Throughout my life, I’ve always wanted to “swim out to the log” or “swim to the dock,” but I held back because of my anxiety and fear of drowning. I envied the brave swimmers on “the other side” sunbathing and laughing on the floating dock from afar. I admired their courage, wished I could be out there with them — but it was too cold, risky, and far away.

Being the 50-year old scaredy-cat that I am when it comes to open water, I prefer to swim in heated pools where I can swiftly latch on to “the edge” whenever I run out of breath or get anxious, but last summer, all local swimming pools closed due to the pandemic.

Just in case…

My 10-year-old son loves the water, doesn’t need to hang onto “the edge,” and will swim anywhere. Last July, my son dared me to swim with him in the Pacific Ocean at a local beach. Excuse me, son — but that’s the ocean. It doesn’t have an “edge,” and it’s way too cold.

But it was a sunny day, and although I was reluctant, I thought: Why not? I can stay close to shore, and I’m wearing my bikini underneath my shorts, packed my goggles and a towel — items that I never use but always pack along — just in case! (For the past two years, I’ve been on a personal fitness journey, and I’ve been trying to defy middle age through various exercise challenges.)

F*ck. I guess that means that today is the “just in case” day. I also knew my son would keep bugging me until I swam with him. Being the mother of an only child (particularly during a pandemic) often makes me his only playmate, and I need to keep up with his boisterous 10-year-old energy.

The hook.

I stretched my goggles over my head, tiptoed into the sea, up to my knees, my waist, and, yikes — my belly button. I wanted to quit right there and run back to my beach towel.

But some dude floating on his back in the ocean shouted, “It’s chilly at first but warms up as soon as you get in — just dive in and get it over with!” I nodded and smiled but really wanted to tell him to f*ck off already because I was f*cking freezing, and I’d go in on my own time.

My son dived in and swam — big smiles and laughter — splashed me a few times; I screamed, splashed back. “Mom, just do it!”I took a deep breath, held it, dunked in, and swam.

Swimming in the ocean is cold, rejuvenating, exhilarating, and makes you alive. It doesn’t compare to a pool swim. I was hooked.

Benefits of swimming in cold water.

Swimming in cold water boosts your immune system, gives you a natural high, and improves circulation. It also burns calories, reduces stress, and increases your libido. Some theories suggest cold water swimming help reduce anxiety and depression.

The theory is around our stress response and inflammation. Immersing yourself in cold water puts your body into fight or flight mode. Starting with the cold-water shock response, dipping into cold water puts your body under stress. As you repeat this experience, you diminish this stress response. And having a better rein on your stress response means being able to better cope with life’s many minor irritations that add up to chronic stress. — Rowan Clarke, Outdoor Swimmer

Practice helps you reach those goals to get to “the other side.”

Since that day and throughout the summer, I practiced swimming in open water whenever I had the opportunity and did over 25 swims in various British Columbia lakes and the Pacific Ocean. I’m a competent swimmer in shallow waters when I know I can touch the bottom or I’m close to shore.

Last September, I took my son and his cousins for a hike to a local lake. When we reached the dock, out in the distance on the open water, I saw that picturesque “floating log” (not that kind of log, son — when the heck do boys get over the potty humor phase?) that I fantasized about reaching for decades. I didn’t know how deep or cold the lake was, but it was dark, murky, mysterious — way out of my comfort zone, and I couldn’t see the bottom with my goggles.

But I knew that if I tried harder, I could push myself to swim further and deeper because I’d been practicing all summer, and “in theory,” I should be able to cross. I could hear my son’s voice, “Mom, just do it! If I can do it, so can you. It’s not that far.”

For the first time in my life, I swam out from a dock to the log.

I was scared, but I did it — 3 times! The young boys had no problem swimming out to that log, but we were all out of breath when we reached it, with chilly lake-kissed skin and proud smiles. Maybe this isn’t a significant achievement for competent swimmers. Still, for me — it was a milestone at age 50, and I’m braver, stronger for trying, and have become more confident in my swimming abilities.

The key is to keep practicing. Once I started, I didn’t want to stop, no matter how cold the water or how far away the log — open water swimming evolved into one of my passions.

In January, I did my first-ever polar bear swim on the morning of New Year’s Day in the Pacific Ocean. It was cold and quick, but I loved every second, and I can’t wait until my next winter swim. My son did the polar bear swim, too, and when he touched land, he swore he’d never do it again. His teeth were chattering, and his body shivering from the “freezing water” (for the record, it was at least 6 degrees celsius, not zero!) He said it was a crazy idea because nobody swims in the winter. But by the end of the day, he promised to try again someday — as long as there was another thermos of hot chocolate and a friend to join us.

Reaching the other side starts with a toe-dip.

I remind myself of that proud September day with the boys at the lake whenever I want to give up on something that I’m working on or struggling to learn or master because my swimming journey started with a hesitant, chilly toe-dip in the ocean.

I didn’t give up when I got to my belly button. I guess that dude in the ocean was right. Sometimes you need to “just dive right in and get it over with,” or, like my son says, “Mom, just do it!” And I did — one swim at a time.

About the Author: Mary Chang is an award-winning short story fiction writer, published memoir article writer, and blogger striving to become a better human, parent & writer. Her stories are inspired by exercise, humor & people. Fueled by cartwheels, laughter, and open water swimming.

You can read her most popular Medium stories here.