Hosting Better Gatherings Means Living a Better Life
A better way to meet, personally and professionally.
I’m currently reading The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, by Priya Parker. It’s the most interesting and impactful book I’ve read this year — and I read tons of nonfiction books.
Think of this: People meet all the time. Whether it’s a professional meeting, a baby shower, Christmas, a casual dinner with friends, or an online community, meetings are omnipresent in our lives.
But do they spark joy?
Is your Monday meeting with your team really insightful?
My 20-year-old sister recently told me she didn’t enjoy Christmas as much as she used to when she was a kid. “That’s normal,” I thought. “We’re not kids anymore. No more Santa Claus or mountains of presents — that’s what made Christmas exciting.”
Well, that’s not what Priya Parker says.
Your gathering needs a purpose
Whether you’re dissatisfied with your yearly Christmas family dinner or with your weekly team call, the reason is exactly the same in both cases: Your meeting doesn’t have a purpose.
To be successful, each meeting must:
1) Have a clear purpose — a why
2) Be designed to align with that purpose
“Getting married” isn’t the purpose of a wedding, just like “meeting to discuss books” isn’t the purpose of a book club. That’s what we do at such events.
If adults don’t enjoy Christmas as much as when they were kids, it’s because this event doesn’t align with its new purpose. When we were kids, the magic was the “why” — but as adults, the purpose of Christmas is different.
To me, it’s an occasion to reconnect with my family and laugh together. But the event itself isn’t designed to serve that purpose: We haven’t changed a single detail to our Christmas dinners in over twenty years, so it’s still designed to please children.
If I were to redesign this particular meeting to align with its new purpose, I would probably make it less formal and include time to play games in between meals, for example. This would definitely contribute to making us laugh and connect as a family, hence serving the new purpose.
What’s your meeting’s “why?”
Think of all the meetings you host and attend. Do they satisfy you? Are they useful?
If not, reflect on their purpose. What is it?
Now, how can you redesign this meeting to better align with that purpose?
Redesigning can be as simple as removing a table.
If the purpose of a meeting is to brainstorm creative solutions to a problem, participants will feel more confident and safe to share their thoughts if they’re not all seated formally around a table.
Think of your next meeting. What’s its purpose?
