Summary

Astronauts returning from a near light-speed mission grapple with profound cultural and societal changes on Earth after fifty years, including altered social norms and the possible disappearance of familiar political structures.

Abstract

Upon their return to Earth after a deep space mission that felt like a few years to them but spanned fifty years on Earth, astronauts Tony and Bud struggle to adjust to a drastically transformed society. They encounter a world where millennial customs have become the norm, and their attempts at humor and casual interactions with the Center staff are met with confusion and bureaucratic responses. The astronauts speculate that significant political and social changes have occurred, including the possible dissolution of traditional political systems and the rise of a more meditative, tranquil society. The narrative suggests a generational shift towards a world that may have transcended past conflicts and embraced a new, peaceful ethos, leaving the astronauts feeling like outsiders in what was once their home.

Opinions

The astronauts feel alienated and confused by the new societal norms, comparing their reception to that of cavemen.
They perceive the younger generation as overly formal and detached, particularly noting their discomfort with traditional social activities like dating and eating certain foods.
There is a sense of nostalgia and longing for the familiarity of the past, including the desire to enjoy a night out at a local bar, which seems to be no longer possible.
The astronauts suspect that the current generation is withholding information about the profound changes that have occurred during their absence.
They express skepticism about the new societal structure, humorously suggesting that the hippies' vision of the Age of Aquarius might have come to pass.
Despite the cultural shock, the astronauts acknowledge the kindness of the people they encounter, though they doubt the feeling is mutual.

Homecoming Blues

So much changed while we were away

— Tony, we need to talk

— Sure, what’s up Bud?

— I know fifty years is a long time, but really, what is this place? Did we even come back to the same planet?

— We’re all feeling that way. I spoke to the others and they can’t stand it. Have you tried to crack a joke with any of the Center staff?

— I did worse than that. You know they gave me Carrie as a handler? I couldn’t believe my luck. She’s cute as anyone I ever met. And she got trained in millennial customs for about a year before we came back. I tried asking her out on a date yesterday. She looked like she’d swallowed a wasp and said “We’ve got a form for that. I’ll get you set up in the system”

— I’ve hit the same problem. It’s as though they were trying to be patient with cavemen. I asked when we were going to get some real food, even mentioned rib-eye steak, and poor Damian almost vomited on the spot

— I don’t think they’re telling us the full story. I was asking something stupid, just to make chitchat, like were we in a red or a blue state and it took her a minute to work out what I was talking about. She just said “Oh, yeah, we don’t really have that system any more”. Did politics just go away?

— I don’t think it’s just US politics. Frank said he heard them talking about separate countries, about something he’d said, as though the idea was new to them

— I’m going to try winding them up about Europe, just for the hell of it

— Not going to get you anywhere. They won’t take the bait. It’s as though they are all floating on a cloud. They must either be meditating every couple of hours or they’re spaced out on tranquilisers

— Or something happened while we were away that they don’t want to tell us

— Maybe the hippies were right. It really was the dawning of the Age of Aquarius

— Damn. I was just looking forward to getting off-base sometime soon and getting trashed in a local bar

— Don’t think that’s going to happen. I get the feeling that it’s not just the Center where alcohol is banned

— Nice people, though

— Yeah, nice people. But I don’t think they feel the same way about us

Many thanks for reading!

Inspired by the actual astronauts coming back to a Covid-changed world. Got me thinking about a deep space mission at near light-speed, where they spend a few years away while fifty years goes by back on Earth.

I also wondered what would happen if Starkey got catapulted into a world constructed to the specifications of the woke. Or did that already happen?

More speculative fiction below.

The Hole In The Sky

A practical solution to a choking planet

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The Reset

They’ll be needing a whole new history

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#500Race