Holding onto Anger Hurts No One but You, and When You Let Go, the Pain Ends

You can release resentment and stop suffering

It hurts when someone is malicious or thoughtless, and you want them to know they’ve wronged you. You might tell them and hope they make amends. Sometimes, though, they won’t respond in the way you prefer, and you face a choice: You can hold your anger or let it go.

The option you take matters because it influences how long you suffer. If you accept what’s passed and move on, your emotions lift, and pain ceases. Hang onto angst, though, and your pain persists.

Holding anger creates adverse side effects

People who hold anger sometimes experience these unpleasant side effects:

•Depression

•Unexplained aches and pains

•Pessimism

•Resentment

Like poison, anger runs through your body and mind leaving problems in its wake. Tension and stress take their toll and create further distress.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Buddha

Why do people hang onto anger?

•They need to assert justice

•They want culprits to acknowledge the pain they caused

•They are in a stuck state

We want justice if someone commits an unfair act against us, and letting go without reaching our aim might seem unreasonable. We also want offenders to admit they cause us pain, which is why an apology helps. Staying angry too long while we wish for retribution, however, turns our vexation into an obsession. We wire our brains to be angry and revisit old wounds.

Anger becomes habitual

Anger stems from a sense of violation. So, if you’re angry, you believe someone’s actions work against you and conflict with your ethics.

Harboring anger forces you to focus on transgressions. You want to avoid meeting painful circumstances, and you’re hyper-alert to the possibility it could happen.

But, the problem is that you continue to see more of what agitates you.

More wrongdoings catch your attention and reinforce the conclusion the world doesn’t work for you, and you develop a fatalistic outlook, or worse still, depression.

Letting go of anger (when circumstances remain unjust)

Negative situations that leave us angry don’t always heal in the ways we hope they will, so we can’t rely on securing justice. It’s up to us to heal ourselves with the understanding if we don’t, our lives become difficult, and suffering continues.

How to let go of anger

•Acknowledge harboring anger is painful

•Decide your well-being is more important than attaining justice

•Recognize you can keep or release resentment

•Reduce stress and tension

•Increase calm and joy

Letting go of anger is a choice, but you can carry out supportive behaviors too. Meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness, and other acts of self-care can ease stress.

Physical exercise like swimming or jogging may also help, plus increasing joy. Do more satisfying activities, hang out with positive friends, and find meaning in behaviors that add to a sense of purpose and wellness. As a result, you’ll be happier, and your anger will fade.

Remember, being angry takes effort. It takes a lot of fuel to maintain a bad mood. So, whatever you need to do to help resentment leave won’t be as traumatic as clinging to bitterness.

Copyright © 2020 Bridget Webber. All rights reserved