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Abstract

Gandhi did really rock the loincloth, though. He looked good.</p><p id="b6be">Me: So you’re saying he deserved to exist? Because of the loincloth?</p><p id="c160">PAUSE</p><p id="46e1">MN1 and MN2: Nnnnnoooooo?</p><p id="5366">Me: And Gandhi was responsible for Ben Kingsley’s career taking off.</p><p id="f74b">MN2: That’s a hard no, then.</p><p id="5f86">All: Hahahahahahahhhahahhh</p><p id="8a76">Me: Can I have more bourbon?</p><p id="bf2e">MN1: Do you deserve it?</p><p id="5e86">All: Hahahahhahahahahah</p><p id="e6f1">Me: Your mother deserves it!</p><p id="6336">All: Hahahahahahahahh</p><p id="877b">So there’s the answer to your question. You can think whatever you want about millennial nihilists, but why not think the best of them. Not because they deserve it, but because it’s a good time. And you get more bourbon.</p><p id="8cef"><i>We weren’t kidding! If you have a question for Granny Mary, put it in the comments or email to askgrannymary at gmail.</i></p><p id="2b34">Thank you <a href="undefined">Amy Sea</a> and <a href="undefined">Carol Lennox</a>.</p><p id="0685">Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Read more Granny Mary stories!</p><div id="e4a8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://garyparkerchapin.medium.com/list/7034d5ac860b"> <div> <div> <h2>Ask Granny Mary Stories!</h2> <div><h3>All the stories by or about Granny Mary</h3></div> <div><p>garyparkerchapin.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*6b2488e295bebcd05f1d350ddeae50bb946dc715.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="be99">Sign up to follow <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a>!</p><figure id="139

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Why are you asking Granny Mary?

“Hey, You! Millennial Nihilists! Get Off My Lawn!”

She’s dead. She’s wise. And you are nothing. Nothing!

Nihilists are fun in bed! [By Paul Merwart (1855–1902) WikiCommons]

If you have a question for Granny Mary, put it in the comments or email to askgrannymary at gmail. Let’s look at the mail!

Dear Granny Mary: What do you think of millennial nihilists? Signed, Crotchety Old Person With a Lawn

Hello, Crotchety! I really like millennial nihilists. They mix a good Old Fashioned (using Old Forester Bourbon — yes, I said Old Forester!) and are fun in bed.

I was in bed just the other day with some millennial nihilists, all of us dressed as ragged, Russian tatterdemalions, and we played this game called, Does Anyone Deserve to Exist? Really? The answer is always, “No,” of course, but the fun is how you get there. Here’s how one game went:

Me: Okay. Gandhi. Gandhi deserves to exist.

Millennial Nihilist 1: Gandhi does not deserve to exist.

Me: Gandhi created the most powerful peace movement in the history of mankind.

MN1: Peace has no intrinsic value. It simply is. It has nothing to do with deserving.

MN2: Also mankind.

MN1: Right. Mankind has no intrinsic value. It just is.

Me: The value of mankind is not relevant to the question. Your reasoning is sloppy.

MN2: We do not deserve to exist!

MN1: Gandhi did really rock the loincloth, though. He looked good.

Me: So you’re saying he deserved to exist? Because of the loincloth?

PAUSE

MN1 and MN2: Nnnnnoooooo?

Me: And Gandhi was responsible for Ben Kingsley’s career taking off.

MN2: That’s a hard no, then.

All: Hahahahahahahhhahahhh

Me: Can I have more bourbon?

MN1: Do you deserve it?

All: Hahahahhahahahahah

Me: Your mother deserves it!

All: Hahahahahahahahh

So there’s the answer to your question. You can think whatever you want about millennial nihilists, but why not think the best of them. Not because they deserve it, but because it’s a good time. And you get more bourbon.

We weren’t kidding! If you have a question for Granny Mary, put it in the comments or email to askgrannymary at gmail.

Thank you Amy Sea and Carol Lennox.

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Read more Granny Mary stories!

Ask Granny Mary Stories!

All the stories by or about Granny Mary

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