Here’s Why You Should Stop Trying to Make Your Friends’ Lives Better

It’s (selflessly) good for you.

Imagine a world where we all woke up at 5 am, took a cold shower, and journaled.

After that, you’ll do a 30-minute workout followed by 10 minutes of meditation and a cold shower again. You take your green healthy smoothie and start your work commute, listening to a podcast about the habits of highly successful people. You reach and start ‘deep work’, with a short walk every hour to keep the blood circulation running and spend your alone time with positive self-talk.

Let’s not forget the affirmations and gratitude to help you manifest your desires.

You come home after a long day, take a 20-minute nap for rejuvenation and prepare a healthy snack. After that, you work on the side hustle that brings you two extra sources of income, apart from your current salary.

After another few hours of deep work with the Pomodoro technique, you take time off to read before bedtime and sleep for 8 hours. Don’t forget to keep your phone in a different room before you fall asleep and wake up with a traditional alarm or your natural body clock, as that's better for your body.

Imagine a world where we all lived this way.

To be honest, the above scenarios make the human population look robotic to me.

The Law of attraction is bullshit. Work hard, focus on conquering what's in your control, and see how it goes from here, my friend told me. Another one told me to let loose and enjoy a Tuesday night with some beer, even if that means having alcohol on a weekday and sleeping later than my usual bedtime of 11 pm. It’s not the end of the world, they said.

Whether or not you’re a self-help nerd, you’re doing okay.

If you’re a self-help nerd like I am, it's beneficial to have friends who are not like you. For years I’ve tried hard to convince people into gratitude journaling, working out often, or having a routine. But it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. And no, doing all this doesn’t make me better than others.

It’s eminent to have people who are nothing like you.

It’s important to have people who tell you your beliefs are shit.

It’s important to have friends who counter your spiritual beliefs with logic.

Yes, you are the product of your environment and it's wise to pick and choose people you surround yourself with. That doesn’t mean your friends have a full-time job of lifting you up and believing in all that you believe in.

There’s stuff that you know, what you don’t know, and what you don’t know that you don’t know. There’s stuff you and some people believe to be true, efficient, and beneficial, but life doesn’t have specified guidelines where one size fits all.

Surrounding yourself with people who are unlike you is a space for growth.

It’s a space where your beliefs are challenged, where other’s opinions are to be respected and a ground to humble down.

We’re trying too hard to

• Read what Bill Gates reads
• Use Warren Buffet’s investment strategies
• Follow Elon Musk’s hustle routine

If there were a set of things that could guarantee us to achieve what these brilliant people have, why don’t we have more Warens and Elons? I won’t say more Bills, because well, we have way too many bills.

We are fooled into believing that life has the same set of strategies for all of us.

At a time when the world is glorifying and telling you to do things, it's okay for you to just be you.

It’s okay to drag your ass out of bed at 11 am because science anyway says that waking up early morning isn’t for everybody.

It’s okay to take warm showers and use guided meditation instead of Wim Hof breathing. It’s okay to do a full-time job when the world is glorifying side hustles because you know you have responsibilities on your shoulders and bills to pay.

It’s good to surround yourself with friends who fill your soul even if they’re nothing like you. We don’t need to breed a similar population.

Would you rather see a street with everyone in grey suits or would some people with colourful hair and clothing make it better?

Let the world continue to be a big and bright place. We aren’t meant to be tamed, we’re meant to be free, to be liberated in just being ourselves.

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