Here’s What Zaddy Look For in a Woman and How to Attract One

I almost gave up on dating until I learned these 6 rules that attract high-value men.

There was a time when dating used to be fun. When two people would get together, walk along the park eating ice creams or at the restaurant enjoying each other’s company — chilling with a simple chocolate cake and champagne.

In those days, a guy would show up at your doorstep with flowers and candies to tell you how much he missed you the night before and wanted your face to be the first thing he saw in the morning.

A wise man once told me, “There is nothing more special about courtship than being in the company of a mutually cordial friend,” which was how most relationships started back in the day.

Courtship makes relationships flourish. It gives the excitement and thrill that make you anticipate seeing the person every day. Over the first few weeks, you talk about culture, hobbies, families, careers and aspirations.

But now, first dates are about sex and how long it will take the woman to give it up. You can’t have a simple conversation on your first date without the guy calculating how much he will lose if he doesn’t get sex from you.

Courtship would last about a year or more before the couple decides to go into a serious relationship. These days, guys won’t even court you for two days without dissing or ghosting you first.

If money is the major issue, why not hangout at the park or museum when you ask a woman out instead of making her feel guilty for going out with you?

Honestly, dating has become such a bore that I barely make it out of the talking stage. When I meet guys at a bar, eager to go out with them, suddenly they disappear. No clues about what had gone wrong. The most annoying ones are those who expect you to be their mother even before they become your boyfriend.

I hear a lot of guys say the bare minimum they expect from women is for us to cook, clean and raise their kids. While most women only ask to be fed and protected. And by protection, I mean to make her feel secure in the relationship.

But no one is fulfilling their part of the bargain. Guys don’t pay for dates nowadays and when it comes to protecting you, they would rather dump you on the spot than face any danger because of you.

On the other hand, women are providing for themselves and in most cases they provide for the men too. Men are stuck in their egos as women take on their roles in the relationship.

Finding a decent mature man in this day and age is like searching for a needle in a haystack. As much as I want to have a male companion every now and then, I’m not prepared to waste my time on immature grumpy men who have filled the dating market.

With age comes wisdom and I have learned to decipher the male psychology to know which men provide stability and comfort in relationships.

So instead of going about looking for the right men, these men I seek, find me themselves and it only takes a few adjustments on my part.

Don’t ever compete with him

Male ego is actually a thing to be taken seriously. I used to expect men to get over their egos and meet my expectations. But now I know better. A man will only give up his ego if you make him feel needed and appreciated.

When a high-value man makes a mistake or fails to succeed in his plan, instead of rubbing his flaws in his face, I slip into my feminine suit. I compliment what he did right and encourage him to do better.

It only takes humility and understanding to get a high-value man attracted to you. Even if you are miss independent, no high-value man will appreciate your worth if you do not appreciate his efforts in the relationship.

Be authentically classy. No fakes!

Classy is a broad spectrum in a woman’s dictionary. Most women think their looks, fashion style, beauty, and financial stability — basically physical assets make them classy. To some extent, that’s all true.

But here is what classy means for men — your emotional maturity. When a high-value man sees how composed you are, how courteous and well-mannered you present yourself, it will immediately hype his interest in you.

Because your emotional maturity signifies your level of intelligence. High-value men avoid quarrelsome women like a plague. You might look all flashy and stylish to attract him, but if he doesn’t feel that maturity in your words, and your actions, he won’t stick around for too long.

Don’t give him access to sex easily

Despite the dating market being posed by unscrupulous men, the real high-value men — who are secure in their masculinity, are not enticed by sex. They want to earn your trust by building a genuine connection with you.

High-value men know they can get sex easily but when they want a relationship with you, sex is the least of their demands. They look for true friendships, someone they can be vulnerable to — who understands the side of them they don’t show everyone.

But if you are giving sex on first dates, that’s not a high-value man. Because easy access to sex gives the impression of a low-value woman and high-value men don’t take such women seriously. In most cases, they keep them as comfort food.

Never criticize him in public

Some people think it’s okay to correct other’s grammatical errors when you are talking with them. I used to be shy speaking in public because I might say something wrong and someone will point it out.

When I started dating my ex Fred, all that anxiety disappeared. He taught me how to appreciate constructive criticism. And I’ve realized that most of the criticisms I got in public were easier to remember. Gradually, my shyness went away and I started using the same tactics on other people.

Unfortunately, my attempt to point out people’s errors in public backfires whenever it’s applied to high-value men. Fernandes, a forty-something-year-old zaddy I once dated said to me, “I like how outspoken you are, but never criticize me in front of my friends. You humiliated me when you said I chew louder than nutcracker.”

We were with familiar friends and we were all joking around and commenting on each other’s flaws. So I thought it cool to speak of a habit of his I didn’t like and have spoken up about severally. But Fernandes got sensitive and he was just of many men who hate public constructive criticism.

Build and protect your reputation

One thing most women take for granted is their reputation, especially low-value women. They act recklessly and pretend their actions don’t hurt them. But in reality, it does.

I see girls get drunk and misbehave on romantic dates and when the guy ghosts them, they wonder why he never called back. I don’t drink to oblivion but I once had a habit of talking too much.

When I’m nervous, I talk and talk to distract myself from thinking and wondering what the guy thinks of me. As I became mature and started dating classy men, I noticed the women they take to events barely speak.

Well, I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me if I wanted to be in that crowd, I had to stop being talkative. High-value men are cultured and their reputation is their pride so they choose women with outstanding emotional discipline, etiquette and principles.

Never badmouth your exes

I’m not one to talk badly about other people even if they wronged me. However, I have heard most men speak of why they quit their previous relationships or why they never made it to a second date with some women and it’s often because the women tripped.

When you meet a guy and he asks about your ex, he wants to know the role you played in the breakup. He doesn’t care about the man you dated. He wants to know about your feelings towards your ex and the impact the relationship had on you.

So when you go off dissing your ex and how horrible he was to you on the first week of meeting a high-value man, you’re literally biting yourself in the ass. Because he is going to see you as a simp for enduring all that drama or a toxic person who is ungrateful to a good man.

Even if your ex was the toxic one, a high-value man will assume he’s the victim because of the way you communicate your past. The way you speak of other people can communicate strength or weakness and the last thing you want to show a high-value man is that you are weak.

High-value men are not looking for babies to groom. They want confident and mature women who can handle their business but still know when to let them sweep in and take control.

Getting a high-value man to fall in love with you isn’t picey dicey, but it’s achievable.