FICTION SERIES

Henchman

Excerpts from Gehenna

Gehenna is defined as a place or state of misery. In the Bible, Gehenna is a cursed valley south of Jerusalem. Here, children were sacrificed to a false god. Gehenna is considered a place of divine punishment. Many biblical scholars believe it is Hell.

"Any fool can know. The point is to understand." —Albert Einstein

“...for enough money I would do terrible things to the people you love." — Oakland

This is how I dissociate.

Welcome to my head.

Fall down eight times, stand up nine. If at first, you don't succeed, try, try harder. Let the chips fall where they may.

Remember: uncertainty is the root of all fear. Only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And since a rising tide lifts all ships, remember that time and tide wait for no man.

Bric a brac a firecracker rah, rah, rah! Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny, sis, boom bah!

Right tighty. Lefty loosey. Big fork goes to the left of the plate. Butter knife on right, blade in. Adjacent right goes the spoon. Water glass top left of placemat. Meal beverage top right. Napkin folded neatly in the center of the plate. Viola. Place napkin in lap. Avoid hanging napkin from neck of shirt.

Now pray:

“Most holy Apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, I place myself into your hands at this difficult time. Help me to know that I am not alone. Please pray for me, asking God to send me comfort for my sorrows, bravery for my fears, and healing for my suffering. Ask our loving God to strengthen my faith and give me the courage to accept His Will for my life. Thank you, St. Jude, for the hope you offer to all who believe in you. Amen.”

Remember: God watches over children and drunks. If a-coughing you do often, a coffin you'll go off in. Discretion is the better part of valor. Don't forget three can keep a secret if two are dead.

Instincts are guardian angels. Intuition is the only voice in the room, feel? A man who can't distinguish conscience from ego from his heart is quick to his grave.

Karma handles what we cannot. Nothing escapes its fate. No one gets away scot-free. The ledgers always balance.

All these things will be buried with you.

Knowledge is all we get to keep. If we're lucky. If amnesia or dementia or Alzheimer's don't strongarm it from us.

Either we live out of Fear or Love. Anger is a secondary emotion. Ego is necessary. Luck and chance favor the prepared mind.

Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.

Do what you have to do. Hesitation is always the wrong action. Let no man tear asunder what you put together. Dead men tell no tales. Roll the dice, flip a coin, then shoot your way out.

Just don't die on the vine.

Anyway…fuck. Shit. I'm taking too much again. I never fucking shut up sometimes. Fuck was I saying? Fucking ADHD. Wait. Oh yeah. It's like: I steal what I need. Food, medicine, or clothing. Only from big chain Nasdaq-type places. Never from local Murder Marts or corner groceries. I’ll burg houses on the south side, where people with money live. Shit, I'll hit that lick across North Broadway. But I will not rob anyone on my block. I've been poor under every president since Reagan, but I still have integrity.

Talking too fucking much again. Ma used to say all I do is yap. Frantic wordflow. Diarrhea of the mouth.

Shut up. Be quiet. Park your tongue. Jabberjaw. Blabbermouth. I just want to be heard, but no one listens.

Life is slipping from my hands. Everything is blurred. I stay up three days at a time, eyes bleeding tears. Dissociating until I've lost time. Shuffling. Meandering. Running. Mission to mission. Circumstance to circumstance.

No rest for the wicked. No ice water in Gehenna.

Shoes decaying. Breath repugnant. Chain-smoking. Sweaty. Over-amped. Pockets deep and empty.

I am a mercenary. A hired gun. Extra hands for heavy lifting. Degenerate, compulsive, and violent.

I am a henchman.

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