Hearing Sex in the Next Apartment
It sounds nothing like mine
Occasionally I like to have a late-night cigarette on my balcony before bed. I know, it’s a filthy habit. But then so is listening to other people’s sex and judging them based on what I hear.
A few nights ago as I sat out there under the stars, I heard what I have to assume were two people having sex, coming from an open window near mine. I highly doubt someone was sitting next to their window clapping their hands at 1:00 A.M., so it had to be sex.
The very fact that I even have to wonder whether it was hand-clapping or sex made me completely judge whoever was getting nailed. There were no other sounds. Just skin clapping for about a minute, then nothing.
I didn’t even hear a climax.
Is that satisfactory sex to some people or are they just being considerate neighbors?
Recently I read an article by Zita Fontaine about the benefits of having loud sex. The subtitle of her article made me glad I was having a cigarette anyway because my neighbors sure weren’t making me want one that night.
Knowing I could hear their clapping so clearly, I sat back and wondered how many neighbors I’ve pissed off on my sex nights. Summer just passed and all the windows were open on any given night.
If I can hear someone sneezing surely they can hear my far from muted sex life. And sorry, not sorry, but my intimate nights last much longer than a minute. They’re more like three to four hours including foreplay, after play and the actual sex in between — all of which are noise inducing.
I praise the heavens above that I only have sporadic sex when my “person” is able to make an appearance. I could never live on so little sleep on a regular basis.
The clapping night made me sad to think about what others are missing out on in the name of basic, average sex. I thought that kind of sex went out the window in biblical times when procreation was the purpose.
In this modern-day of enlightenment and empowerment, everyone should be trying to live their best sex lives. If one minute of skin clapping is the best point you can get to, you’ve missed the party bus.
I’ve made more noise than that without even engaging in the main event.
Sounds that reflect a good round of adventurous foreplay and sex should include but are not limited to moans, cursing, laughs and giggles, slapping — lots of it, and yes, some good old fashioned skin clapping.
Without some form of noise, you have no other gauge for satisfaction.
Recently, right in the middle of sex with a new partner, he said, “You’re so vocal and loud. I love that!” I felt proud of myself and excited that my natural reactions to his actions were a turn on for him, not just for me.
It let him know he was doing it right and doing it well. It also let him know what he should be doing more of.
Sex is supposed to be a mutually beneficial partnership. Don’t we all want to know our partner is as satisfied as we are?
I used to be greedy with desire. I wanted what I wanted and had no regard for how he felt, but as I’ve matured everything has changed. I get off on knowing that he knows I love what’s happening to me. I also get off on being the reason he makes noise because I find men are less likely to be vocal during sex.
I can’t possibly know how much of my sex life my neighbors have heard. I rarely run into anyone in my building to catch possible looks of approval or disapproval.
But I do know I’m not living solely for my neighbors. My sex life and the pleasure I seek is about myself and whichever partner is present at the time. I’m just considerate enough to know that if it’s going to get really loud, that’s what pillows are for.
Back in the day, it used to annoy the hell out of me if I heard anyone in my vicinity having sex, probably because I’m a light sleeper and I wasn’t the one getting it. But nowadays, if I hear sex and it sounds like they’re having a grand old time I think, “Good for them!”
We should all be rooting for incredible, audible sex.
In case you missed my latest dirty little secret:
