He Said I Am Not Worth It.

Like a broken record, it kept buzzing in my ears.

What is it that a person expects out of any relationship? Maybe, a validation of love, mutual respect, or an emotional connection. But, if there’s a shortcoming of any such commitments, is it a Red Flag?

This is a story of a girl who let her mind be poisoned by believing too much in every word that came her way. She was in love, way too much.

She did not want anyone to empathize with her, she saw it coming neither, but when the words broke through, the only thing that got shattered was her self-esteem.

Two years in a relationship; she never saw it coming when she first saw him. Impressions built at the first sight, never leave that tiny corner of your heart, those eyes stalking you, the feeling of butterflies and bubbling joy within, and a silent note of violin playing in the background of your mind; falling in love can be a life-changing moment.

Her life was about to change.

Two years later, musing over her own choice, she was still trying hard to overcome the mental trauma that pushed her towards a black spot, thinking maybe one day she’ll succeed and understand what happens, happens only for good.

This isn’t an extraordinary story but something that comes with a lot of insightfulness. Sometimes, you need to introspect and think; to handle any relationship, is there a price to pay? I would say think again...

PAUSE. THINK. ASK

If that price your self-esteem, happiness, peace of mind, emotional stability, desire, and self-respect, then is it worth it? Or maybe you are simply giving too much?

Something unbelievable happened that day!

It didn’t look like a usual disagreement. She let the peace prevail and realized it was enough to walk away. Gathering all the broken pieces of her heart to take a step back, the silence in her mind said it all.

Nothing came to her mind except that she realized it was about time to stop bargaining and begging for happiness and love. It was always up to her to not let anyone define her worth, looking out for happiness and purpose in others. But, O’ Love you’re soo blind, my dear!

He said you are not worth it. I still love you but maybe I have lost the zeal to please you every time. Maybe, you’re too immature to understand how to handle a relationship. I expected you to be more sensible and forthcoming, maybe you need to work on your communication skills, or perhaps you need a mentor to hand-hold and teach you how to sustain an ever-lasting relationship. I don’t mind being friends with you, but maybe for a relationship, you are not worth my efforts.

Having boundaries for every area of your life is the best description of self-respect.

Love gravitates you toward a feeling that is unmatchable, sometimes unreal too. It puts you over the moon, but never brings you back. People explained how love can turn the world into lyrics and how one gets destroyed in love, but no one ever suggested ways to come out of a point where one feels completely worthless in love!

Always remember, before you start to love someone; love yourself first. Having boundaries for every relationship is more important than getting sidelined for reasons. When you respect yourself, you know when to say “no” to what is no longer emotionally, mentally, or financially healthy for you.

When did it hurt?

It was her belief that she was worthy of love, attention, and respect, and was no less than anyone else. Hence, given this belief, she failed to set boundaries in her relationship. There was no line drawn with regard to how she could and will not be treated.

They say you can never take your words back once they come out, but you can always be mindful of what you say. One of the wisest lessons learned from the cartoon character “Bambi” — is “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”.

Perhaps, this was exactly what she felt that day! In her bargain with love, she, unfortunately, sold herself. It was time to value herself more than she ever thought she deserved!

So, did she move on with life and finally understood why letting go was the best option?

Honestly, I haven’t asked myself yet…! But, maybe one day…

Inspired by Yana Bostongirl to gear up the courage to talk about it. Thank you! ❤

Thanks to Dr. Fatima Imam for this beautiful article. ❤