He Made Me Dress Like a Little Girl

I had been abused for years. It started when I was 14 years old. I was a young boy, barely scraping through the stress of my GCSE exams. My abuser was an Eastern European man who I had become a regular customer of.

At first, the man would give me money, cigarettes, marijuana and alcohol, but then the presents began to be replaced with women’s clothing and sex toys. He started to dress me up like a little girl, and soon I became his fantasy child.

For years I have been too scared to tell anybody about it, but in July 2020 people began to notice that something was wrong with me. In October 2020, I reported my abuse to the authorities and an investigation was opened.

In the meantime, I have been patiently waiting for an advance on the case but was notified in 2021 that there was not enough movement and the case has been filed. Instead of letting this get me down, I have started therapy and I am working towards creating a rewarding life for myself and my partner, Layla.

As relieved as I am that the abuse has stopped, the damage is already done. The wounds of trauma cut deep into my body and the path to healing becomes longer and longer. In life, you must trust the process and, more importantly, trust the people you love. But sometimes that feeling just isn’t enough, and the memories continue to cut deep.

Eventually, I have learned to love the world again and I am on a mission to become the strong and successful man I wanted to be as a young child. I am determined to use my voice to speak up for victims and to provide a safe space for everybody. And if anybody hasn’t told you today, I love you and I care about you.

Thank you for taking the time and listening to my story. Medium has been a fantastic place for me to open up, receive support, and most importantly to aid my recovery. I feel like I am reclaiming my life and that is thanks to all of you!!