He Didn’t Reply. Should I Text Him again?

Why I don't double text.

In the past, I had such a hard time holding myself back from double texting.

Nowadays I only send one text, and if I don't get a reply, I respect that, I don't insist.

So what is double texting?

In this context, double texting means sending one text and then following up with another one when you didn’t even get a response to the first one.

These are examples of double texting:

• Hey! So what’s up with you?
• Helloooo?
• Did you receive my message?
• Why aren’t you replying to me?
• Sending a long-ass paragraph.

Double texting ruined my day and the next ones.

In the past, when I took pretty much everything personally, I would waste my time and energy on finding out possible explanations, sometimes not even logical ones, as to why I wasn't getting a reply.

I would let these little things ruin my day. I could be having the most amazing day and I would completely change moods when I didn't get an answer.

I know very well now:

No message is also a message.

Stop creating false narratives in your head.

He saw your message. If he wanted to text you, he would have.

Please do not obsess over it. Take it day by day. And even allow yourself one day to be upset about it and then be done with it.

For instance, I have my five days waiting period to allow myself to be totally mad about it for one day (I will explain further down below), because yes I was kind of hoping to hear from this guy, I was kind of hoping to see him again, to go out on another date, and so on.

We are allowed to like someone “a lot” and to want to meet them again. So don't feel guilty about having feelings. Simply sit with them, don't deny having them, and eventually, you won't feel the same way in the next week or month, trust me on this one.

My five waiting days period to allow yourself to be mad.

So you sent a text, let's say on a Monday, and that very same day you didn't get a reply and you were all day obsessing about it. Sounds familiar?

That was me, and so the next day I am still mad about it, still no reply.

The following day I am yet upset about it, can't let it go. Ugh!

When you reflect on this, you realize how many days of the week you didn't enjoy or appreciate because of these little things.

So what I tell my friends is:

Okay so you texted him and he didn't reply. That's fine.

There's no point in being mad about it right now and be checking your phone every five minutes to see if you got an answer.

After all, we all can get really busy at times, he will get back to you whenever he can. And if that doesn't happen.

You can vent and talk about it all you want in one specific day but don't allow yourself to be obsessing about it daily. That's not healthy and isn't fair to you.

The funny thing is many times boys do get back to us in less than the fifth day, so all of this overthinking was at the end: pointless.

Last piece of advice.

I am not absolutely against sending one last final text, because I am aware many feel they should be able to say hey this isn't cool or express their discontent.

So if that's the case for you go ahead and do it, however, remember you might not get a reply anyway.

In a perfect world, people wouldn't let our texts unanswered, however, we don't live in a perfect world, we all don't communicate the same way.

For some folks not saying anything back means they are “expressing“ their disinterest and they hope you can get the indirect.

“I don't respond/I am not answering because I am not interested, why don't they get it?”

— They think to themselves.

And for other folks, me included, not getting a text back meant I did something wrong, I messed it up somehow, and that's why they don't want to talk to me.

— That was absolutely not the case.

The vast majority of the time they simply didn't care and I’ve learned to not take it personally anymore.

I know my worth and my value and if they don't appreciate me someone else will. I let it go and wish them the best.

So you can do that too. Sit with your feelings and then let it go.

You will be alright. Go where you are appreciated.