Hazel’s Extreme Banana-Rama Challenge! I’m Here To Get Me Some Yum Yum!
Just Another Day of Shopping at Fred and Martha’s
[WE NEED SECURITY IN PRODUCE! CODE RED! CODE RED!]
“Put the Banana Down! . . . NOW!”
“I can’t! I won’t! I love them! I love them!”
“Get it out of your mouth . . . slowly.”
“She’s not listening! What do we do?”
“Do we Taser her? I mean, can we Taser her for this?”
“We can’t! Not with the Produce Stocker so close and engaged!”
“Why the hell is he standing on the produce counter?”
“He was trying to block her from that old couple.”
“Brave . . . very brave.”
“She’s got another one in her mouth! She’s threatening to bite it!”
“Yum Yum! Yum Yum! I’m here to get me some! Get me some Yum Yum!”
“Ok, Sargent, we need to regroup and quickly. Now how did she end up naked?”
“The front counter girl said she came running in here like that.”
“I’m guessing she took an Uber to get here?”
[Sargent! The Produce Stocker is down! I repeat, the Produce Stocker is down!]
“Where the hell did she go?”
“She just dived through the butternut squash stand and pushed her way out the Organic section.”
[Suspect is in aisle three! She’s in aisle three! Do you have eyes on her?”
[I’m in aisle three now. We have two more victims! Send the Medics! Send the Medics!]
“Sir! There’s a trail of banana smears heading north.”
“Well shut the fuck up and follow it!”
[Lights are out in aisles four through seven . . . proceed with caution . . . she’s AHHHH!]
“Oh my God! The Captain is down! RUN! Everybody RUN!”
[This is the Sargent. Davis, Matthews, Report!]
“Sir, we found their body cams. They both seem to be covered in a white substance.”
“Well! Taste it and tell me what it is?”
“Sir?”
“Do I need to cram it into your mouth myself? What? You think you’re back at the Academy? I order you to stick it in your mouth!”
“Gggaa . . . it’s not banana! OH GOD! LOOKOUT!”
[Sargent? . . . Sargent? Do you copy?]
“He’s over here! Hurry!”
“Is he ok? What happened? Why isn’t he moving?”
“She just drop-muffin’d him from the top shelf! That bitch!”
“Is that why he’s smiling?”
“What’s with all the questions? She’s still out there! Do your fucking job!”
“And since when did this become my job?”
“When you took your oath! Now be a man and find her!”
[Cleanup on aisle seven . . . we’re talking major cleanup on aisle seven!]
[What is that? Turn your body cam to the left. Is that hot fudge or chocolate syrup?]
[Neither Sir and worse news! She just took a second bunch.]
“Fuck! Who was guarding the rest of the bananas? I want them fired!”
[Attention Shoppers! Please avoid aisles one through nine due to the Police presence and the naked woman hording bananas. Oh . . . and have a nice day and as always, thank you for shopping at Fred and Martha’s Banana-Rama!]
“Lewis! Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“I . . . I was going to go get you your pad thingies.”
“Feminine protection is in the other direction Lewis. Now get your ass moving before I!”
“Yes Dear . . . on my way now Dear.”
[Sir! Swat has her cornered in the baking section! I’m on my way there now.]
[Report . . . Report? . . . Report!]
[I can’t see a thing! There’s a cloud of flour everywhere! . . . Wait . . . Wait . . . I see the bottom of someone’s boots.]
[Captain! Report! NOW!]
[They’re all down. Face down. With their pants and underwear around their ankles and all covered in flour.]
“My God she’s good.”
[Sir! All their guns are gone!]
“Stanley. You need to go in.”
“With all due respect Sir, I retire in less than a week.”
[Sir . . .]
[What?]
[God dammit! What? Talk to me!]
“I’m right here Sir.”
“Well? What the hell is happening?”
“I saw them Taser her, three at one time. I swear all it did was power her up! She pulled the wires off and climbed up the shelf like Spiderman! I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it for myself.”
“You’re holding something back. What aren’t you telling me?”
“The last of the bananas are gone. We last saw her naked ass crawling into the duct work and the shoppers have begun to rally around her. They’re blocking the entrance from our Team.”
“Fuck! Fuck! And Fuck!”
“What do we do?”
“Send in the drones. They can access the ductwork from the vents on the roof.”
“Yes Sir!”
“LEAVE HAZEL ALONE! LEAVE HAZEL ALONE! LEAVE HAZEL ALONE!”
“Why the hell are they all smiling like that?”
“I didn’t see it, but was told she either touched their bananas or touched them with a banana?”
[Sir! The first of the drones is in. Here’s the video feed.]
[What the fuck is that? Is it in a cave?]
[Sorry Sir, too close . . . is this better?]
“Very tapable . . . wouldn’t you say Sir?”
“Stop looking over my shoulder like that Captain! You’re creeping me out.”
[Here’s the rest of the drone feeds.]
[Why are they all images of us?]
“DUCK! LOOK OUT!”
[RUN! HIDE! SHE’S CONTROLLING THE DRONES! OH THE HUMANITY!]
“FUCK!”
[Sir! Rooftop surveillance reports she just left in an Uber with all the bananas!]
[Well go after her!]
[Can’t Sir . . . it was a Prius . . . just like half the other cars in the parking lot. There’s just too many to know which one she’s in.]
“FUCK IT!”
(END GAME)
17,548,621 Points
3 X Banana Bunch Bonuses
0 X Potassium Power-Ups
“So? What did you think of it?”
“Um . . . well? The graphics were top notch. Is that unreal engine 5?”
“Yes, but what did you think about the game itself?”
“I’m confused as fuck about the game itself? What the hell just happened? What the hell did I just do?”
“Dude! You Won! Plus you figured out both flour cloud and drone control. You did great for your first time. Sadly, you missed out on all of your Potassium Power-Ups, but you’re new.”
“Ok? But where did you even come up with this shit?”
“It’s a long story, but Hazel is my Grandmother.”
“Oh My God! I was a naked avatar of your Grandmother! What the fuck Dude? I thought Hazel was because of her eye color!”
“You don’t capitalize an eye color, you idiot.”
“Ok . . . but . . . why was she naked?”
“Well, she just came from Church. Did you want to try the other two avatars? Those are my Aunts.”
© 2023 Zatanna Dark All rights reserved.
Looking for a BDSM Erotica Story you’ve been unable to find? Feel free to contact me anytime here on Medium. I’ll do what I can to add one to my Collection. Thanks! Zatanna Dark
