Gwyneth Paltrow’s Company is Making an Absolute Joke of Women’s Health

Goop is a modern lifestyle brand that threatens our quality of life and is a danger to the health of women everywhere.

Model, actress and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow possesses an immense amount of social influence and powerful potential to make a radical difference in the world in truly positive ways.

Instead, however, Paltrow seems determined to squeeze every last penny she can out of hopeful and trusting women around the globe who respect or look up to her.

In a world where women’s health and body autonomy is already not taken as seriously as it should be, I have a real bone to pick with Paltrow’s “wellness” lifestyle brand and company, Goop, charging exorbitant amounts of money for faulty and dangerous products backed only by unsubstantiated, false and ludicrous claims.

Medical professionals, scientists and even NASA (yes, you read that correctly) have spoken out publicly about their concern with the Goop brand, products and messaging.

When the professionals in charge of our overall health and wellness, with the degrees to back it up, come forward with concern, we’d better listen, damn it.

And that’s exactly why we’re here — let’s delve right on into the truly horrific and damaging ways that Gwyneth Paltrow is shamelessly endangering the lives of women around the globe for a quick buck.

Toxic products.

If you’ve heard anything about Goop, you probably already know about this product: the jade egg. It also goes by the Yoni Egg.

And what does one do with this jade egg? Welp… you stick it right on up your vagina.

Because, according to the Goop website and Paltrow, inserting a jade egg into your vagina will “cleanse your reproductive organs and improve your sex life”.

There is absolutely no reputable science to back this up, and additionally, because the jade egg is not attached to a string or anything of the like, it could be hard to remove and may even get stuck.

Gynecologists point out that getting anything stuck up in your vagina can lead to toxic shock syndrome, which in the worst case can be fatal.

So, don’t just go sticking things up your vaginas just because Gwyneth Paltrow tells you to, friends.

Another concerning, toxic product from Goop is reishi powder. Goop sells this as an ingredient for their morning latté powder recipe.

Reishi is a mushroom that carries fantastic health benefits — it can help with certain sicknesses, boost your immune system, reduce fatigue, and the like.

The problem is, in a powdered form, reishi can be very damaging to the body — even leading to liver failure or internal bleeding if used for months on end in high doses.

As a person who drinks 4–5 teas per day, I can just imagine how dangerous this product could be in the hands of someone who over-uses the product and swears by its benefits.

And finally, our last toxic product for this section — a f*cking coffee enema.

Man, I wish I was bullsh*tting you.

But really — Goop sells an enema (the thing you put into your butt) to pump coffee into it.

This process is supposed to clean and detoxify your bowel, so that it will be healthier and happier.

At least, that’s what Goop says.

Science, on the other hand, says that this claim has been debunked. You could do extreme damage to your bowel with the use of this.

Harming to your bowel, which could include ripping or tearing, could lead to fecal matter being spread to the rest of your body — resulting in illness, or toxicity poisoning.

Leave your coffee in your cups and out of your butts, folks.

Unsubstantiated claims.

Remember the medical professionals and scientists who have an issue with Goop? Well, this is the main reason why.

Goop often makes health and wellness claims that have not been substantiated or backed up by scientific studies — leading to many believing that the brand is making false, ridiculous claims founded on nothing that has been proven.

Let’s take a look at Body Vibe Stickers, a product promoted by Goop. These stickers claim to operate at an ideal energetic frequency to cure everyday stressors like insomnia, adrenal fatigue, worry, indigestion, and the like.

They’re apparently embedded with “bio-frequencies designed to enhance and activate particular systems in the body”.

It was also claimed that these stickers are made out of the same material used in NASA astronaut space suits — the kicker though, is that NASA made a public statement that this was entirely false, and that NASA spacesuits have no conductive carbon material.

At that point, the NASA claim was removed from the Goop website.

Another example of blatant unsubstantiated claims comes from the Devi Steam Seat — Gwyneth is a huge supporter of steaming vaginas, and I suppose advocates for it?

Problem is, science has already proven that steaming our vaginas is one of the worst things we can do for our hoo-ha health.

For one thing, the steam can literally burn you (ouch), but that’s really the best-case scenario as far as steaming-gone-wrong.

At worst, you’re disrupting the healthy bacterial community in your vagina, which leads to great vag health. This can cause a number of problems such as infections and disorders by disrupting the self-cleaning, healthy balance our vaginas already keep.

This Devi Steaming Seat claims to release an energetic flow to balance out hormonal levels in our lady bits — only, that seems to completely contradict what science is telling us.

I side with science (sorry, Gwyneth).

False advertising.

We mentioned false advertising above, but now we’re especially going to dig into that messaging, fake-science aside.

Coming from a marketing background myself, the unsubstantiated claims Goop makes about their products play an active role here. The claims are wild, and eye-catching (some would even say clickbaity) and it is that shock factor that draws people in.

While the saying, “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” applies here, that won’t stop human beings from still holding out hope that something unrealistic could still be true.

And that’s what gets consumers in such a pickle.

I mean, not many took the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle too seriously — yes, that’s a real product Goop sells.

With essence of cinnamon, sea salt, cloves, and among other things, these interesting ingredients alongside the ridiculous claims of what this candle can do is a form of marketing that leads to some pressing the purchase button based on the “interesting and unique” information they were given on a product.

And in case you were wondering — no, this candle isn’t meant to smell like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina (although for that price, you’d think it should for $75 US?). It’s meant to smell like the vagina of the person who is holding it.

I wish I made that sh*t up, but I didn’t.

Sidebar: how would the creator of this candle know what my vagina smells like? I feel oddly violated…

According to Paltrow, this product was apparently released as a joke, and immediately sold out.

Yes, I have no doubt that she was laughing along to this joke, all the way to the bank to deposit her millions.

Vagina candle aside, remember that Jade egg Gwyneth wants you to pop up inside your vagina to make your life more magical than ever before? (I mean, how could you forget?)

Well, the ridiculous claims about that jade egg were so absurd, that Goop settled a $145,000 lawsuit in 2018 against the claims made for this product.

Prosecutors stated that the claims for the jade egg were “not supported by competent and reliable scientific evidence,” and that now Goop has been banned from advertising any products “without possessing competent and reliable scientific evidence.”

Here’s hoping that this is the end of the false advertising from the Goop company… but that said, I’m not holding my breath on that one.

Final word.

While Goop is still in business, they’ve been caught in far too many lies and slip-ups.

I mean, a $145,000 lawsuit for false product claims — come on!

And that’s just the unsubstantiated bullsh*t that was bad enough for them to get charged for it — safe to say, just about everything that Gwyneth Paltrow and her company Goop say should be received with an air of caution — odds are, it might just be complete bologna.

Some may say in the comments that I should just let Gwyneth live her life, and stop trying to “pull a successful woman down”.

To that I say, when one has an exceptional amount of social influence, one must act responsibly with it.

It is both dangerous and irresponsible of Paltrow to enthusiastically support unsubstantiated claims and spew false messaging all over the place.

And making women’s health and the credibility of women’s health products a social laughing stock.

And at the very least, it’s a scam that steals people’s well-earned money and doesn’t deliver what it promises.

At worst, some of these products have the potential to lead to death if mishandled.

When something is presented as a “health and wellness” product, it’s even more likely that it could be overused — because in our brains, if it’s good for you, more of it just means more good, right?

Especially when promoting products that are being ingested, or put into people’s bodies, Gwyneth Paltrow should be ashamed for herself for the messaging and lies that come out of her company.

At the very least, if she truly cared about the health of women, she should do some damn research before claiming she’s got an overpriced object that could change people’s lives for the better.

Because frankly, her lack of doing so is utterly disgraceful.

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