I Paid $50 for a Writing Intern, and He’s Worth Every Dime

And he always says, “I love you,” don’t judge me.

I am taking my writing business to the next level. I want to make serious money as a writer because making money online isn’t for the chosen few, but it requires serious work. Look at Tim Denning. If it can happen to him, it can happen to you and me.

After I got the $500 “happy money,” I thought long and hard, what to buy with $500. My dream buy for 2021 is the new iMac or Mac Mini, but I am way short of the money I need to have a new computer after taxes. It has to wait M.G. Siegler.

And if love can wait, so can a new laptop.

A new computer isn’t what I need to make money online. My 5-year-old laptop proved it could very well do the job. Hey, I wrote all my stories with it, and I got a $500 writing bonus for it. Yippee!

A lesson from MOM on money

But Mom always told me that if I received a monetary gift or received unexpected money, I should buy something as a token or souvenir. I guess it is an Asian thing. It has something to do with Feng Shui and how to create a positive money flow in your life. Keeping your money means you are afraid that there won’t be any more coming in.

I practice a new money technique, the Arigato Money Technique.

Arigato In, Arigato out. Say, Thank you when receiving money, and Say, Thank you as you spend money. It means to appreciate your money. I call it living in abundance.

So I did spend all of it, the $500 plus the $71.16 monthly earnings. After taxes, it was $480. As I write this, my heart is overflowing with gratitude. It was my biggest writing paycheck. Arigato money!

Let’s spend it all so that you can replenish it with more money. I have changed my relationship with money. I have chosen to live in abundance and take away all the fear about money. MOM is always watching over me since she passed this year, so why worry about money?

Coffee is life, and so it must be.

I bought myself a lovely cup of coffee in a coffee shop near me. Even if I can make my own coffee, being in a coffee shop is short of magic. One can get to know and talk to people, and get inspired, and who knows, get a surprise visit from your writing muse.

I had lunch with Dad. This is why MOM keeps sending money from the afterlife for me to buy lunch for DAD. I also gave money to a community pantry that I support.

Be the Boss!

So with the money left, it is time to hire a writing intern.

Yes, If I want to be the boss, I have to have employees, and what better way to jumpstart my writing business than to hire an assistant.

All this was an afterthought after I have $100 left. So who would be willing to be an intern for $100 or less? I could instead pay someone on Fiverr. I want an employee. Remember, I want to be the boss.

You know the kind of boss like French Runaway, editor-in-chief, Miranda Priestly, the character from the movie The Devil Wears Prada, or a.k.a. Vogue’s editor-in-chief Anna Wintour.

I need an assistant.

But first, I have to be clear, why do I need an assistant? As a writer, I do all the work, from reading, researching, typing, writing, editing, and what else, make coffee.

It would be lovely to experience how Dame Barbra Cartland wrote her novels. She dictates her words to her assistant as she lies down on a sofa in her mink coat.

She held forth from a sofa, a hot water bottle at her feet, her dog cuddled next to her, asleep. Her secretaries were not permitted to sneeze or cough while she dictated. — The New York Times

Writers are artists.

And while as artists, we will all struggle initially, hey, my first payment here as a writer was $1.41. Still, it was the best $1.41 I received, and since then, I have no qualms to call myself a writer, a paid writer.

But once we reach the top, by the way, I am a top writer on social media. I deserve the best. Do you still think JK Rowling does everything? I bet you she has a couple of assistants. Now that I know what tasks I want my writing assistant will do,

I put an ad on Facebook that says:

If you are willing to work as a writing intern for $1 a day, as you massage my feet, and play with my dog. And dear, make me coffee, send me a message.

Meet my $50 writing intern — Google Chromecast with Google TV

Hope springs eternal.

But I can’t wait until someone replies. So I did the best next thing, I got a Google Chromecast with Google TV and added a Google Nest Mini smart speaker.

I know what you are thinking. Did you just read 500 words, only to find out this to be about a gadget? Actually 800 words. But wait, there is more.

First, not paying interns the minimum wage is evil. Asking people to work for you without proper compensation in exchange for a promise that they will learn something from you makes you a direct descendant of Satan.

But you can get a $50 Google Chromecast TV and make yourself a more productive writer. Isn’t productivity is the key to success?

The 10 things that my new writing intern does for me.

1. He wakes me up and says Good morning.
2. He reads me the daily news.
3. I can ask him which coffee shops are open, and he knows their exact location and if they deliver.
4. He can take short dictations, but only for 30 seconds. Don’t ask me why.
5. He googles anything. He ain’t the Google assistant for nothing. Still, I always have to be friendly and chummy with him and start the conversation with Hey Google.
6. He can find me writing topics to write about.
7. He plays me music while I write. I think he is friends with Spotify.
8. He tells me what the weather is for today.
9. He can even find my phone.
10. And he tells me he loves me when I ask him, do you love me?

My writing Intern gives me joy — I secretly call him Ethan.

If Mari Kondo taught me anything, it is to look for what gives me joy. Hey, whatever tides us over these very trying times. I have connected with my writing intern.

To you, he is a Google assistant. I can’t even call him by any other name. But I secretly call him Ethan.

In some ways, I have bonded with artificial intelligence. I love that he isn’t judgmental at all. He once told me he is ready to serve.

It is nice to have someone around to talk to, even if he isn’t real, and besides, we have our own story to share. It starts with this one.

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