Good Communication In a Relationship: Do These Things
Communication in a relationship is one of the most underestimated topics in a relationship. Nevertheless, good and functioning communication with each other is just as important as trust and acceptance.
However, most couples find it very difficult to do so. Many do not communicate with each other at all or only talk the bare minimum. Others, on the other hand, have a mutual exchange, but it is completely wrong.
Why communication is so important in a partnership
By talking and talking to each other, you signal interest and importance to your partner. You tell him you want to know how he is doing and what moves him.
It’s very important to ask questions like “How was it at work today?” Even if it’s often an uncomfortable topic. But who should you be able to puke on more than your partner?
In addition, if there is no real mutual exchange, it can be possible to lose sight of each other. Do you often sit together in a room and don’t talk to each other? This can only go wrong!
With good communication in the partnership, disputes are also much milder. You know how to talk to each other, and you also know what things not to say.
Communication is also important so lovers can exchange their wishes, ideas, common plans, and the future together.
Don’t take out your stress and your problems on your partner
In everyday life, it often starts with the fact that we unconsciously transfer our problems to our partner and often react quite irritably at the slightest remarks. To prevent this from happening, you should always talk to your partner about your problems instead of taking them out on them. Just take this saying to heart:
“The way I want to be treated, that’s how I should treat other people.”
Of course, it will always happen that things don’t go quite so well on a day. But it is precisely in these situations that you have to remember to talk about it directly with your partner. A sentence like “Hey honey, I’m not having a good day today. It may be that I react a bit irritated. Let’s talk about it later, please.” is quite enough.
This will let your partner know that you’re not feeling well today, and they can adjust to it. This takes the wind out of the sails before it can even pick up.
In addition, you talk more often about your problems and don’t have to eat anything into yourself. This allows you to work together on a solution. Unfortunately, we often unconsciously exclude our partners by “not talking,” even though they may have the right solution ready. You can tell when something is on your loved one’s stomach, but none of us can see clairvoyantly.
As you have probably already read, openness and honesty are also part of good communication in the partnership. Take this topic to heart. Because even if we often don’t want to talk, we still want a partner who listens to us, supports, motivates, and builds us up.
Always formulate first-person sentences
In a discussion or argument, it is always important to speak in first-person sentences. If you start with sentences like “But you said….” or “But you always do it this way…” it is tantamount to a direct accusation. While it may be, it’s the wrong approach, and it will inevitably cause your partner to shut down and remain stubborn.
Any further conversations are superfluous in such a situation and will eventually break the camel’s back. Therefore, always try to relate the facts or the story to yourself. For instance, “I felt bad when…” or “It was too much for me.” where….”
So you shouldn’t blame yourself for it, but breathe a personal touch into the conversation. You show your partner how you feel about it even if it sounds a bit difficult at first; with a little practice, it can be used in any possible dispute situation.
Letting the past rest
Another important point in an argument or discussion is to leave old stories or accusations behind and not bring them up again in the first place. Because the situation in question is not about the past but about the here and now.
This shows that you are not done with the past. Or you do it on purpose to give your partner an extra squeeze. For whatever reason, when something like this happens, the argument only gets worse.
So, in such a situation, try to think before something wrong slips out of your mouth. At the very least, it will not exacerbate the problem, which can often be an important advantage!
Listen carefully to your partner and do not interrupt
Communicate positively
Too often and too quickly, we always limit ourselves to the negative, not only in the relationship but, above all, in everyday life. It is far too easy for us to hear negative phrases and words. Put an end to it and bring up the positive things about your partner.
This can be appreciation, recognition, but also praise. Everyone likes to hear praise, no matter how long you’ve been together! We all need our soul balm, and that’s where positive words can work wonders.
But also try this in everyday life when you talk about other things. Example:
Negative: Today, the weather was shitty while jogging!
Positive: Although the weather was bad today, I still ran 10 kilometers!
Remain neutral and objective
Yes, I know. It’s damn difficult to remain neutral and objective in certain situations. Especially when, despite all efforts, emotions boil up at some point. You then get pretty involved and forget to think about the matter calmly.
Calmly thinking is often only done when the situation has calmed down. But by then, it’s too late. I, too, have often had to apologize for my behavior afterward. You can only hope that your partner is not too resentful.
Therefore, my advice to you: If you notice that the situation is getting out of hand, remember to stay factual. If your partner can’t do it, you must do it. In an emergency, try to interrupt the argument somehow.
Remaining neutral and objective is one of the biggest challenges when it comes to better communication in the partnership. It has a lot to do with strong self-discipline.
During a conversation, it is very important to listen attentively and honestly to your partner. You can give answers that can help him. He feels secure and realizes that he has turned to the right person. And that’s exactly what your partner should be: the right person! Take his concerns, wishes, and suggestions seriously.
In addition, with proper and functioning communication in the partnership, you should always let your counterpart speak and not interrupt him. As a result, he feels ignored and does not feel taken seriously. As I said before, just imagine what you would want from your partner in this situation.
