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Abstract

<b>God</b> Well, yes.</p><p id="61a3"><b>Devil</b> You crucified Jesus out of sheer boredom and a fetish for bullfighting.</p><p id="953a"><b>God</b> Do we have to go through all this again?</p><p id="f8cf"><b>Devil</b> You think you’re so high and mighty, Zeus, but you’re only one of thousands of gods, and your time is limited. You’ll be human again one day, begging the gods not to do you in. And should they have sympathy for you when that happens?</p><figure id="72c9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*em3IaigXOWK8FG1a"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@kedar9?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Kedar Gadge</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="f68c"><b>God</b> Nonsense, my karma is good — an unbroken line of good acts. And call me “God,” Scarlet. I prefer “God.”</p><p id="fe31"><b>Devil</b> <i>Choking a bit on her wine, coughing</i> Yes, God, of course. The Eternal Saint.</p><p id="365b"><b>God</b> Like I said, I only give people what they want.</p><p id="329b"><b>Devil</b> You mean what they <i>think</i> they want.</p><p id="0e85"><b>God</b> You’re so sexy when you play psychotherapist.</p><p id="985b"><b>Devil</b> Would you like me to psychoanalyze you?</p><p id="4ba9"><b>God</b> I can’t change.</p><p id="8f20"><b>Devil</b> Of course not. You’re Zeus, God, the Almighty. You can change everyone but yourself.</p><p id="e599"><b>God </b><i>Pouring the Devil more wine</i> Oh give me a break, old girl. Why are you so critical of me? Are my Works really all so bad? So I like wars and a little bloodshed. Big deal, who doesn’t?</p><p id="c331"><b>Devil</b> I don’t.</p><p id="bccc"><b>God</b> What would I create in its place?</p><p id="ece4"><b>Devil</b> Dancing. Music. Harmony. Friendship. Long life.</p><p id="51b2"><b>God</b> Yawn. We get enough of that in the rest of Space. Can’t I make Earth an exception? Earth is my Coliseum for sport and sacrifice. Just for a bit of fun, eh? We gods like to lay our bets sometimes, too, you know?</p><figure id="3a61"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*kuaz7BEPjPiIne9V"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@nceglia?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Nicholas Ceglia</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="d1c1"><b>Devil</b> Reap what you sow. The gods are not above karma.</p><p id="a5e3"><b>God</b> Yes, yes, I know. My days are numbered. We already covered this. It still doesn’t stop me. I see the walls burning around my House, and instead of running, I bask in the heat.</p><p id="9eb7"><b>Devil</b> Then burn. But don’t come crying to me as a reincarnated human beggar dying for a little power.</p><p id="2b85"><b>God </b>I will have no memory of ever being a god.</p><p id="7c5a"><b>Devil</b> Do you take comfort in that?</p><p id="fa7d"><b>God</b> Do I have a choice?</p><p id="463a"><b>Devil</b> I hate your smugness.</p><p id="131f"><b>God</b> Accept it and you might become a god.</p><p id="ea47"><b>Devil</b> I don’t want to be a cold-hearted

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god, rolling dice with human lives.</p><p id="561a"><b>God</b> I don’t blame you, it’s overrated.</p><p id="3785"><b>Devil</b> Why don’t you give yourself a real thrill and buck the trend as a god while you’ve still got the chance. Offend the Pantheon. Fart in the church. Throw their dice in their faces. Declare peace!</p><p id="0fe8"><b>God</b> You really are the romantic.</p><p id="fdbd"><b>Devil</b> What do you have to lose?</p><p id="e305"><b>God</b> No dice, woman. I’m not changing.</p><figure id="77be"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*oUVm65hz3RFT_3O2"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@grizzlybear?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Jonathan Petersson</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="b8c5"><b>© Carlo Zeno</b></p><p id="0275">This is a previously unpublished excerpt taken from a play I wrote and performed in New Zealand in 2011, as part of my MA thesis requirement. I hope you enjoyed it. If you’d like to support, you can <a href="https://ko-fi.com/carlozeno7575">buy me a coffee</a> or read two more of my pieces from <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum"><b>Muddyum</b></a> below. Thank you!🙏</p><div id="da05" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/a-top-writers-unclapping-purge-3d2dcdd81826"> <div> <div> <h2>A Top Writer’s Unclapping Purge</h2> <div><h3>The revenge of an unhappy clapper</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*91Fz-XMqAWPvEQ_Q)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="92ad" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/trump-goes-to-bat-for-the-nra-5ea6c03ccc43"> <div> <div> <h2>Trump Goes To Bat For The NRA</h2> <div><h3>Buy more guns, not less guns</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*0LZs3JQU1FVttdFh)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="7886" class="link-block"> <a href="https://carlozeno.medium.com/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Carlo Zeno</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>carlozeno.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*oAQcTgENHgmnMlYT)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="01a1"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*NBM0apbdcUhA-DIVQfXgug.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Turning Tables

God and the Devil Have Dinner

A debate between old friends

Photo by Raissa Lara Lütolf (-Fasel) on Unsplash

The Setup:

Evening on the balcony. Table, two chairs. Long-lit candle.

God and the Devil drink wine and eat lamb. God is big, handsome, bearded, and wearing a three-piece suit. The Devil wears a red dress.

Devil What happened to you all these years? You used to be more…sensitive.

God Chewing a mouthful of lamb To hell with sensitive. Humans take bodies so they can suffer pain. I’m only giving them what they really want. That Jesus of yours wanted to be crucified. Am I to deny a soul his mission?

Devil He was just confused and you know it. You took advantage of him.

God You’re such a romantic, Scarlet. What do you have against bloodshed?

Devil What do you have against peace?

God Tossing back his wine Peace gets boring up here. Peace, peace, peace. It’s like watching golf on television. Bullfighting is far more exciting.

Devil Laughing You old Devil.

God Grinning fiendishly Don’t you ever get hungry for a little bull from time to time?

Devil Bull is boring. Blood makes me yawn.

God You’re enjoying that lamb, aren’t you?

Devil Only to humor you, you old Devil.

God And how about that wine? Any idea how much those grapes had to suffer to squeeze out their blood for your thirsty mouth?

Devil Sarcastically You move me, Zeus.

God I only tell the truth.

Devil You honest, principled god, you.

God What did I ever do to you?

Devil Aside from booting me out of your exclusive men’s club of a heaven and turning me into a serpent for your perverse amusement?

God Well, yes.

Devil You crucified Jesus out of sheer boredom and a fetish for bullfighting.

God Do we have to go through all this again?

Devil You think you’re so high and mighty, Zeus, but you’re only one of thousands of gods, and your time is limited. You’ll be human again one day, begging the gods not to do you in. And should they have sympathy for you when that happens?

God Nonsense, my karma is good — an unbroken line of good acts. And call me “God,” Scarlet. I prefer “God.”

Devil Choking a bit on her wine, coughing Yes, God, of course. The Eternal Saint.

God Like I said, I only give people what they want.

Devil You mean what they think they want.

God You’re so sexy when you play psychotherapist.

Devil Would you like me to psychoanalyze you?

God I can’t change.

Devil Of course not. You’re Zeus, God, the Almighty. You can change everyone but yourself.

God Pouring the Devil more wine Oh give me a break, old girl. Why are you so critical of me? Are my Works really all so bad? So I like wars and a little bloodshed. Big deal, who doesn’t?

Devil I don’t.

God What would I create in its place?

Devil Dancing. Music. Harmony. Friendship. Long life.

God Yawn. We get enough of that in the rest of Space. Can’t I make Earth an exception? Earth is my Coliseum for sport and sacrifice. Just for a bit of fun, eh? We gods like to lay our bets sometimes, too, you know?

Devil Reap what you sow. The gods are not above karma.

God Yes, yes, I know. My days are numbered. We already covered this. It still doesn’t stop me. I see the walls burning around my House, and instead of running, I bask in the heat.

Devil Then burn. But don’t come crying to me as a reincarnated human beggar dying for a little power.

God I will have no memory of ever being a god.

Devil Do you take comfort in that?

God Do I have a choice?

Devil I hate your smugness.

God Accept it and you might become a god.

Devil I don’t want to be a cold-hearted god, rolling dice with human lives.

God I don’t blame you, it’s overrated.

Devil Why don’t you give yourself a real thrill and buck the trend as a god while you’ve still got the chance. Offend the Pantheon. Fart in the church. Throw their dice in their faces. Declare peace!

God You really are the romantic.

Devil What do you have to lose?

God No dice, woman. I’m not changing.

This is a previously unpublished excerpt taken from a play I wrote and performed in New Zealand in 2011, as part of my MA thesis requirement. I hope you enjoyed it. If you’d like to support, you can buy me a coffee or read two more of my pieces from Muddyum below. Thank you!🙏

A Top Writer’s Unclapping Purge

The revenge of an unhappy clapper

medium.com

Trump Goes To Bat For The NRA

Buy more guns, not less guns

medium.com

Join Medium with my referral link - Carlo Zeno

As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…

carlozeno.medium.com