POETIC HUMOR BATTLE LINES
Gladiator Rhyming
More kindling for the War we didn’t need
It’s the war of the year Least, that’s what I hear Checkmate, you say All in the fray Someone, please hold my beer
Gladiator rhyming It’s all in the timing I say to the King Kiss the ring This no place for whining
The coliseum of Roman Testosterone showmen In the limerick arena A pack of hyena This can’t be a well thought-out omen
Seems a poetic rhyme Crossed the Mason-Dixon line The horrors of war Or readers we bore Smarter writers have chose to decline
Someone stated in writing With prose hilarious and biting In such eloquence I’m now ‘arch nemesis’ I didn’t even know we were fighting
An Iceberg afloat While I’m on a boat We’ve all seen the movie Well bugger me Does that answer the question of GOAT?
We need to awaken From the mess we’re a makin’ As we all rush and dash To sling some more hash When we just want to bring home the bacon
Give thought to the pain Of the poor editor’s brain For dignity and wit And standards kept fit They suffer us, yet try to maintain
He asked to be kissed Was he serious or pissed? In brutal soliloquy A war all limericky Can’t we all just coexist?
This battle may need A mediator’s creed Else we slaughter poetic And need a real medic For laughs, how much do we bleed?
So ladies and men Put down your quill pen I believe that’s 11 verses To muttering curses Goodnight to all and Amen
Signed copies of the long-awaited Limerick novel will be available soon(ish) at all fine e-book stores.
Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg), Jennifer McDougall, Terry Trueman or Jupiter Grant, Adelia Ritchie, Skye Mo'ipulelehua Kahoali'i, Anthony O'Dugan — you may recognise yourselves in this mock battle or you may not. But you’re all inspiring. Thank you.
Tree Langdon and Mark Tulin, you were the mediators I had in mind. Someone needs to right this ship and save Medium from us poetry marauders.
Any others who want to wield the mighty pen or sling some hash — Welcome. Perhaps Dave Logan, Susan Foster, Alice Cunningham, William Truelove, Betsy Denson, B.R. Shenoy, Tess Wheeler, Kyomi O'Connor, Rodney Brazier.
Like most wars, no one remembers how or why it started. The following I include only because they give reference and are damn funny:
Brilliant writing without the gimmicky limericks:
I’ll include this in as well, though it takes no blame for any of the above mess.