Giving Respect, Receiving Respect
Having respect for others starts with talking to people, even you don’t know them.
Last Thursday, I was presenting my last radio program of this season, as a local political radio presenter. I love presenting the local politics with my whole heart and I’m doing this as a volunteer as well. It was a live broadcast, so there were no edits in this broadcast at all.
In this edition of the local council meeting, they held an In Memoriam for a former council member who died a few weeks ago, but because of the circumstances, it was not possible to hold an In Memoriam.
At the table I sat on outside the hall, there were also a few people talking to each other, because of other topics handled before this In Memoriam. Still, they had to discuss that particular topic.
Instead of being silent and giving respect to the deceased former council member, they continued to talk about that particular topic. I understand that topic is important too, but when there is an In Memorian going on, you have quit talking and give respect to the next of kin.
The next of kin were sitting in the hall and the door was closed, as the groups still were talking, but I wanted to hear what was said in the hall, and there were still other people listening outside the hall to the In Memoriam, through a video call. I wanted to contribute and give my respect. I asked them if they could be silent, but they didn’t listen to it.
Another part is that there was one-minute silence for this deceased man. And still, the group talked, even when we asked to be silent. They didn't listen. Grown-up man, between forty and fifty years old. They must know that you have to be silent during an In Memoriam.
I think, it is not respectful to the next of kin and don’t give your respect. Unbelievable.
Then, there is a question: how do you feel when your wife dies, the community wants to give respect to you, and there are still people talking through the In Memoriam ceremony. What is your feeling when people talk through the ceremony?
Even you don’t know this person, you could give respect to the family. It is important to them. They are sad and want others to show respect.
When you look to the woman sitting on the table next to you and you see her in clothes that are not you’re style, you could look disapproved and say something about it, or you could talk to someone else about it. You’re telling you’re table companion that it is not fashionable what she is wearing. And she should wear something else, to be much more approved by others.
“If we walk in the same clothes, I am confused who is who.”
She will hear you. She looks at you angrily, but she doesn't say anything. She thinks it is not worth it to discuss it with you because she knows better and she still wears what she loves to wear. That is not your business.
The clothes she wears may not be your style, but she loves to wear what she wears. What if all people in the world wear the same clothes? As my daughter's teacher recently said to my daughter: “If we walk in the same clothes, I am confused who is who.”
And if we are walking in the same clothes, then fashionistas don’t have anything to do anymore, and we are boring too. Walking in the same clothes makes us not being someone we want to be.
If your boss treats you like you are an idiot, like you don’t know anything, you will be hurt deeply. You know better, but it has an effect on your life. When this happens every day in your life by your boss, then it has a huge effect on who you think you are and how you treat yourself or represent yourself towards others.
Your mind will think differently at a certain moment. Your brain thinks that you’re an idiot. You can see it as if you were brainwashed.
Boss, what do you feel when you’re treated like an idiot? How would you react? Go deep into you’re feeling and don't play a cool act like it doesn’t bother you at all. We all have feelings.
When you are doubting what you can say to someone else, just ask yourself first how you would feel when someone says that to you.
We have to be more aware of the feelings of someone else, we have to be more aware of how we act towards our conversation partner. We have to know where the action we take comes from, deeper into our feelings. Then we can change the way we should change.
We need the change now, to act better towards others in the future. It is not going to work when you stay acting the same, not learning from your mistakes. When you’re talking to someone else, you should listen carefully to his or her stories. It has meaning.
By listening carefully, looking deeper into our feelings how we feel to feel what others feel, act differently to others, but also listening to our inner voice, we can give respect towards other people, and we earn back the respect we deserve.
That is what we all want in our life: getting respected. But we have to give first to get back later.
