Getting older is more than just aches and pains.

I rather deal with slowly failing health over other painful things as we age.

When we were younger we had nothing to worry about. Just a carefree life. We used to chase thrills and adventures, but now find joy in simpler things like spending time with family and appreciating the beauty of nature, this is something a lot of us did not notice when we were younger. Some of us were too busy with our teenage lives.

I always enjoyed nature. It is where I used to get away from my family to be alone with nature and my thoughts. Those days were my happiest times.

What about the other things that happen as we start to get older? Things we rather not talk about. Things we try to get off our minds so we can enjoy what is here with us today. We dream about what was here yesterday but are gone today.

Getting older sucks and I think I can handle all my aches and pains, it’s a bit easier for me since I have always been in pain. I just hate seeing my friends get sick or making themselves sick because they can not get clean from the addiction that pulls them under.

I have one friend who used to be a big guy and a few years younger than me. He was one of my closest friends, we considered each other family. He knew my daughter's father was not around at that time and he said he would be happy to be a fill-in father figure. Not giving money, giving his time. Although I sure needed the money, I did not care. My daughter needed that in her life. So as you see before Meth, he was an upstanding guy. Today he walks around hunched over like he is 90 years old and lost so much weight he is almost a walking skeleton. I want to cry every time I see him.

I have this other friend that is my age and she is already in a nursing home. Meth can cause bone loss and this friend was doing meth for many years, way before I even met her. Now there she sits not even 50 in a nursing home because of what drugs have done to her body.

We talk about each gray hair we get and those little lines that form by your eyes they call crows feet. Buying creams and elixirs to hold back the looks of aging.

Even though I’m roughly middle-aged this is the time those my age are finally going to the doctor regularly or we start noticing weird feelings or pains in our bodies that get us into the doctors. Even with wrinkle creams we want something or help from the doctor to avoid leaving too soon, so we watch our health a bit more than we used to.

We dream about what was here yesterday but are gone today.

When we were younger we would just ignore any pain unless we were just about on our deathbed. Now that we are older we don’t ignore such issues and get to the doctor as soon as possible.

We are finding out there is more to live for than when we were younger. (of course, we had a lot to live for when we were younger but did not see it like we do when we are older). We have built families and our families are building families. We want to be there for each milestone. We enjoy the grandchildren and cherish the time spent with them and our children as they grow up to be extraordinary adults.

The worst thing about growing older is losing those closest to us. First, it starts with our grandparents then our parents in most cases. I know there are a few changes in some families with this. Like mine. My mother had passed away well before her parents and all her siblings. I think about how horrible my grandparents must have felt to have lost a child even if she was an adult. I couldn’t even bear the thought of losing either one of my adult children.

Then it starts with your friends. Their health is failing like yours and some don’t take care of their health and then pass on much too early. You notice actors and singers you grew up listening to all start passing away as well.

The 10th of December would have been my mother’s birthday. I feel it’s hard to celebrate someone’s birth when they are no longer here. That’s just me and my weird way of thinking.

The day does make me think of her more than I normally do and I wish she was still here with us. With her birthday being in December she loved Christmas. Making my father get up and put up lights each year and how much he complained about doing it. But he still did it for her.

I remember one year on her birthday. I had to be maybe 18 or so and I had a friend that did tattoos and he came over and we got tattoos for her birthday. She had gotten a butterfly on her right shoulder. I had gotten a tribal tattoo on my leg. Was nice that we did something together.

This is why I always associate butterflies with my mother and I wrote a story about how a butterfly followed my grandson and me up and down the driveway one day. Can read that story here if you would like to read it.:

©Kerrie Gutierrez-Diaz 2023 All Rights Reserved

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