Getting Cut From a Division 1 Athletic Program Taught Me These 3 Things

How the discontinuation of the University of Iowa’s Swim & Dive program changed my life (for the better)

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It’s a weird feeling, sensing that your whole life is about to change while being completely helpless to do anything about it. This is how I felt during my walk to Carver-Hawkeye Arena on August 21st, 2020.

For two years prior, I have been a swimmer on the University of Iowa’s Swimming and Diving team. I moved to the United States from Slovenia to attend college and continue my athletic career. Moving halfway across the world and leaving friends and family behind wasn’t easy, but it was a rewarding experience nonetheless. I have made new friends, improved as a swimmer, and met that special someone.

On the last day before the start of the Fall 2020 Semester, I received a text message that informed the whole Swimming and Diving team of an important meeting with the Athletics administration. While some of my teammates had ideas as to what the unannounced meeting would be about, no one wanted to say it out loud. It was far easier to pretend that nothing was wrong and that it was simply the last day of summer break.

When I made it to Carver-Hawkeye arena, the coaches were already there, and from their faces, I could tell that shit is about to hit the fan. After sitting down, I realized that student-athletes from Men’s tennis and Men’s gymnastics were also there.

Next, Gary Barta, the University of Iowa Athletic Director took the stage. “I have some good news and I have some bad news,” he said. “The good news is that everyone will have an opportunity to finish this season of competition, whatever that may look like. However, after this season, your programs will be discontinued.” He then briefly explained how our teams were selected for discontinuation and promptly left the room.

As the first sobs could be heard around the room some of the lower administrators took the stage to explain details regarding our scholarships as well as answer any questions we had. Even though most people weren’t in the mood to ask questions, the ones that were asked received weak and generic responses.

When the administrators, who clearly didn’t want to be there, left the room we were left to discuss our situation among ourselves and our coaches. The head coach, who has been at the helm of Iowa’s Swimming and Diving program for over 16 years, did his best to address the team, but he was just as distraught as the athletes.

Just like that, my world turned upside down. The school I moved halfway across the world for told me it didn’t want me and left me and my teammates to fend for ourselves.

This started a very depressing and stressful period of my life. I was at a crossroads: Should I stay in Iowa to complete my degree but forgo swimming? Or should I transfer to a new school and continue the sport that brought me halfway across the world in the first place?

There were other considerations: As an international athlete I needed a solid scholarship to help with my finances, which limited the number of transfer options. I had also built a solid relationship with my girlfriend and wasn’t ready to throw it all away.

Through lots of sleepless nights and stressful recruiting calls, I found Texas A&M University and transferred there before the start of the next Fall semester.

While this whole affair was a very traumatic and unpleasant experience, it has taught me some important lessons.

Here are three things I have learned by having my swimming team cut in the middle of my athletic career:

1 — We are not as important to others as we are to ourselves

We see ourselves as the main characters of our lives, but so does everyone else.

While we tend to put ourselves first, it is important to realize that others will do the same, meaning that they often don’t have our best interests in mind.

It was a harsh realization that I was not important to the Athletic Director and to the University. They saw me as a number and a part of the non-profitable team. I never imagined that my team could get cut. I simply couldn’t imagine myself in that position.

I have since learned to look for and recognize situations where I am at the mercy of someone else. It is important to realize that a rug can be swept from underneath us at any time and to prepare for that eventuality.

Expect the best, prepare for the worst.

2 — Anger is a great motivator, but remain true to yourself

After the Swimming and Diving program was cut, I was mad at the Athletic Director, at the University, and the world. I wanted to prove that cutting the team was a mistake. I wanted to become an athlete they would regret abandoning.

While these thoughts pushed me to new heights and fueled me to become a better swimmer in the next few years, I realized my anger was leading me down the wrong path. I wasn’t doing things for myself anymore.

I realized the moment the Athletic Director told me the program would be discontinued, he stopped caring about me (probably he stopped caring long before that). If he didn’t care about me, why should I care about him and the University?

I reframed:

Cutting the team was their decision, nothing I could do about it. Losing student-athletes was their loss, not mine. All I could do was focus on myself and my journey. Why should I feel anger towards the University and the Athletic Director, as if any of them would notice?

This shift led me to refocus my emotions and use them to better myself. I was no longer trying to be better for others but for myself. I allowed myself to let go of the anger and find joy in the everyday pursuit of excellence.

3 — An obstacle is an opportunity in disguise

For the vast majority of our lives, we can’t control what happens to us. I couldn’t control the Athletic Director’s decision to cut the team. However, I could try and find something positive in a sad situation.

This situation wasn’t my fault, but it was my responsibility.

While I couldn’t imagine transferring to another school, it did give me a chance to experience a different part of the country, a new State, a new athletic conference, a new school, and an opportunity to make new friends. So many opportunities that would never be available without the discontinuation of Iowa’s Swimming and Diving program.

Frequently the harshest obstacles lead us to the most rewarding and transformative outcomes.

These transformations are hard. They suck. When we change, a part of us dies. That’s why the change is painful. We will never be the same person after a painful experience, however, getting over an obstacle is the only way forward, and seeing them as opportunities can help us get there quicker.

Since transferring to Texas A&M, I have achieved my greatest successes both in and outside of the pool, I have made heaps of new friends and have graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology.

Thanks to this hard and life-altering experience, I am now better prepared to deal with setbacks. Whenever I encounter an obstacle or I fail at something, I look for the hidden opportunity. I no longer have misconceptions that nothing bad will ever happen to me, knowing that when it does, I will be ready for it.

The bigger the setback, the bigger the opportunity.

Thank you so much for reading my story. I would love to hear about your hard experiences and how you grew from them!

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