HUMOR
Funny Dialogues
Or maybe not so funny
1. When a humorous atheist visits a humorless believer’s house.
The believer opens the door and begins the conversation.
“Shit, this fucker again,” he thought to himself and said, “Hey you. Come in please.”
“Thank you. How are you?”
“By god’s grace so far so great.”
“Ahh, nice.”
Athiest’s eye catches the attention of a little Jesus’ statue on the wall.
“Why did you nail that guy onto the wall?”
“Who?. Jesus…that’s Jesus.”
“You hate Jesus?”
“WTF. I love Jesus, that’s why he is on my wall.”
“If you had loved him, you would have unnailed him from his cross and let him free, and not nail him further on your wall. Sounds more like being sadistic.”
“Okay, that’s it. Enough. Get the fuck out of my house.”
“Hey, I was just kidding. Relax.”
“Get out you son of a devil.”
“Shit. You are being violent again. ”
The Atheist looked once again at Jesus’ statue and said, “Jesus, you were right. He does not know what the fuck he is doing. Forgive him NOT!”
2. When an optimist asks for help from a pessimist.
“Hey, can I ask you a favor?”
“You talking to me?”
“Yes of course. I need your help.”
“What is it?”
“I need to write an essay on “Positive Thinking”. But I got something else to do. Can you help me out?”
“Help you out with ‘something else to do’ or ‘writing essay on positive thinking’?
“Wait. Ahh, you are confusing me. I want you to write an essay on ‘Positive thinking’ while I do the other thing.”
“You want me to write an essay on ‘Positive thinking’? Are you making fun of me?
“No, of course, I am not making fun of you. Stop confusing me further and just start writing.”
“Ahh. I don't think I can. Hmm..actually no. It’s impossible. I don't think I can write anything at all now, let alone on ‘positive thinking’.”
“Why not? You can.”
“No. It’s impossible. Sorry.”
“Nothing is impossible. You know what, even the word “impossible” actually sounds like “I’m possible.”
“But then what if I am impotent?”
“What? What does impotence have anything to do with writing? Stop your excuses.”
“Nothing. I was just wondering if you would — quite humorlessly — brag, even the word ‘impotent’ actually sounds like “I’m potent.”
“Wait. Let me think. That’s actually a good affirmation to add to my bedroom. Hope my wife would appreciate it. Might be a game-changer.”
“I don’t think so. Give up!”
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