Fun Stories of Mincing Words and Miscommunications
An October prompt of w̶h̶o̶r̶e̶s̶ horrors
Driving down the road, James (hubby) told me a joke:
A guy was called into the human resources office at his workplace. The HR representative asked, “John, did you call Rick stupid?” John replied, “No! I asked him if he was stupid.”
We laughed and laughed.
For this prompt, let’s have fun with language. Have you ever had a misunderstanding, miscommunication, or some other hiccup with language that left you laughing or scratching your head? Bring it on! We want to read all about it.
This prompt is good through the end of October, but I’m horrible with boundaries, getting things done on time, and rules. So, feel free to send articles about this subject anytime — or any topic.
If you need some other ideas to get the brain in gear, here are some real-life examples of the distortions, confusion, and shitshows that language can cause:
When I was young, I remember hearing the phrase, “Life’s a gas.” Really? I get that it stinks sometimes, but the saying indicated that gas, in this context, was good. Really? Some songs were written about the expression like T. Rex’s Life’s a Gas. The funny thing is that the guitar playing between the chorus lines sounds like farting. Well, maybe not real farts but at least hand farts (You should check this one out. You’re welcome.).
Sometimes words are funny because we don’t hear or understand them correctly. Like the time James walked into our house after shoveling snow. His face mask may have blunted his voice when he said, “My feet are cold.” My mom (who was visiting at the time) and I looked at each other strangely because we heard, “My peter’s cold.” Since we both heard it, I’m putting my husband under suspicion on this one. Suspicion of what, you ask? I’m not quite sure yet, but don’t get me started.
In another misunderstanding, I passed a sign that said, “We buy crap metal.” I thought it was rather unprofessional until I realized the “s” fell off the beginning of “crap.” Now I just think of them as lazy business owners.
English is a screwed-up language, but it can be so much fun. Even subtle differences in wording can make a big difference in meaning. When we say, “You’re the shit,” it’s a good thing, but if we remove the “the” in the middle, it can be pretty hurtful. And, in some cases, variations like these can get quite messy — maybe even stinky.
The public refusal to stop using ain’t. We all do it, but it ain’t a word. We even use it like we know what it means, but it’s a complete human construction — as is all language. Follow my logic, though. Don’t = do + not; can’t = can + not; ain’t = ??? Maybe it’s a Canadian thing with French spelling. That must be it. That I can figure this out with no one telling me makes me feel brilliant.
The difference between God vs. Gawd — I bet that’s caused some confusion over the years. Nuff said.
My father-in-law likes to insult everyone all the time. Yes, it gets tiring. Once, he called me a “neoflight” when I was trying to figure something out. His attempt to school me went awry. He said, “Do you even know what that means?” I said, “Of course I do. I’m not stupid. However, I’m not a new traveler, but I could be considered a “neophyte” at this task because I’ve never done it before.” I’m not sure he got what I was saying, so he’s probably out insulting other people by using a word that doesn’t even exist.
Okay, this one is not true, but I’m sure it has happened somewhere. Someone was invited to congregate with friends at a pool party. Well, some bonehead misheard the conversation and thought the host, a woman, said conjugate. She showed up in a bathing suit. He showed up in his birthday suit, grasping a box of large condoms. She said she couldn’t believe it.
I could go on and on, but it’s time for me to step away and give you the stage. Let’s muck things up and have a lot of fun doing it!
Thank you for your patience with me after a busy summer! I’m slowly returning to a normal reading and writing schedule. I strive to have a quick publish rate, but we have some sick family members that sometimes take priority. Please know that I appreciate you all greatly!
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