Freezing in a mountain stream led to an emotional release.
Enduring cold led to a deeper appreciation of the beauty in my life.
It was a late April Saturday and we were in a beautiful “holler” in the North Carolina stretch of the Blue Ridge mountains. A creek ran through the holler, across the land of an organic chocolate manufacturer. The owner was hosting, and also an instructor for, the Wim Hof Method workshop we were attending.
Chengeer Lee has written a great explanation of the Wim Hof Method. As you will see, cold exposure is a key pillar of the method.
The creek was wide and deep enough for all the workshop participants, maybe a dozen-and-a-half people, to find a spot where we could get in up to our necks at the same time. My wife and I staked our claim downstream from the group. The water temperature was somewhere in the low 40s (Fahrenheit).
The instructor gave the signal and we all quickly immersed ourselves. The water was moving pretty quickly, so I had to figure out how to anchor myself in place while trying to get my breathing under control. You know, because the springtime mountain water was cold. Fucking cold.
The first round was 90 seconds. Everyone had to stand up and exit the water to do our warm-up routine of Tai Chi-like movements accompanied by our syncopated chanting of “hoo-ha”. After getting out of the water, endorphins and other chemicals are released by the body because you made it think you were killing it. It was quite the rush.
I’ve mentioned in other writings that I have been told I have the sensibilities of a stereotypical “southern lady”. I also have the body image issues of a stereotypical teenage girl. I absolutely hate to be around people when I’m wearing a bathing suit. And standing on the bank, pivoting in place, and chanting “hoo” and “ha” did not feel like a good look for me.
The fact that it was my idea to drive seven hours one way to participate in the seminar did not actually help.
Then it was time for a bonus round in the freezing water. My wife and I went back in. Surprise! It was still fucking cold. But, there really is something very interesting going on in your body and your mind at moments of discomfort like that. The point is not to distract yourself, but to stay in it and embrace it.
Smiling and humming are legit tactics for enduring and thriving while I’m freezing my balls off. The instructor suggested them and I can vouch for their effectiveness. Smiling and humming neck-deep in freezing water. Like a lunatic.
The second round was two minutes. We got out and went back to hoo-ing and ha-ing on the bank.
Then the instructor offered a final third round for any takers. Less than half the group got back in the water. It was during that final round when my emotions just broke away. The beauty of the surroundings and my life crashed down on me and I found myself crying tears of deep gratitude.
The water was still fucking cold. But, my life was laid out before me in such a way that it was undeniably beautiful.
Now, I don’t want to make it sound like every session of cold immersion led to a similar emotional release. I’d been taking cold showers every day for years before that and had never had that type of experience. I’ve gotten into tanks and tubs, and even neck-high tubes of -200 degree gas, and no tears.
Well, maybe a couple of tears, but that was because my nipples brushed against the side of the tube at -200 degrees. I’m not counting those.
But, I did have one other similar experience in Tucson, AZ on my 5,000-mile road trip (you can read more about that here). I was in the Sabino Canyon recreation area on the Bear Canyon trail. I was on the return leg and randomly decided to stop and get in a mountain stream.
The water was every bit as cold as that Blue Ridge mountain creek. I had to fight to get my breathing under control. I decided to duck my head under and open my eyes and went blind for a second as my eyeballs froze.
After my eyes thawed, as I knelt there in the water, that feeling of beauty, of peace, of profound gratitude, welled up, and I cried.