Fred Has Fun: With A White Rabbit
One of Fred’s “Did you hear the one about …?” fun stories.
Did you hear the one about the White Rabbit?
“Did you hear the one about …?” is a phrase used by people who like to share fun stories. Most of my ‘fun’ stories are ones that end with a punch line, and this one — about a White Rabbit — doesn’t disappoint. I hope that you enjoy it.
Setting the scene for ‘The White Rabbit’ story:
I don’t know where I first heard this one, but it’s been fixed in my memory for years. It begins with a rabbit-fancier (that’s the posh name for a pedigree breeder!). One day he found out that he had to go away unexpectedly for a couple of days, and he needed to organize care for his prize collection before he left.
His backyard was where he managed his prize rabbits. Each rabbit had its own hutch, neatly labelled with name and pedigree information (coded so that it looked really important), e.g., ‘187a Fluffy Wonder [156d x 178a]’
When he was with his fancier-friends he would simply refer to this one quite nonchalantly as ‘187a’ (making himself sound scientific and quite important). Such is the world of the fancier!
But you get the drift … his backyard collection was precious. And so, he knocked on the door of his next-door-neighbor and explained his dilemma that he had to go away tomorrow for a few days and “could his neighbour help out with some simple food & water maintenance?”
The neighbor agreed (though he was a little terrified, knowing how this man treasured his rabbits, praying that he wouldn’t stuff things up). He said ‘yes’ and asked for a backyard tour just to familiarize himself with the routines because internally he was quite nervous. So, they went to next door’s backyard.
The fancier-man opened the lock on the gate, and they entered, making sure to carefully close the gate behind them. The rabbits mustn’t escape. Proudly displaying the row of hutches and ‘talking’ to their occupants as if they were close friends, he showed his neighbor the food trays in each cage; explained how much food to scoop into each tray (from the food-store tin), and how to deliver clean water to each cage via a special water jug with a narrow spout. “Easy!” thought the neighbor, as he was given a spare watering jug to take home for use tomorrow.
‘The White Rabbit’ story gets underway:
The following morning the doorbell rang. The fancier-man was there with the keys (having checked his stock before preparing to depart). “Thank you so much for helping me out. Here is the key for the gate. I’ll see you in two days' time. Oh by-the-way, I didn’t have time this morning to give them their daily food and water, so …”
“That’s OK” said the neighbor and waved the man off.
Thinking that he didn’t want to leave the rabbits without food & water for too long, he decided to go more-or-less immediately, and he went to next door’s backyard gate with the key in hand. Unlocking the gate, he remembered that he hadn’t got the special water-pouring jug, so he returned to his house where the front door was still open, just as he’d left it.
Going inside for the jug he didn’t notice that his dog was no-longer in the house … but he would soon find out because he’d left the rabbit-yard gate unlocked and his dog was in the yard when he got back there!
Horror of horrors! This is what he found: His dog was holding a white rabbit in its mouth, shaking it from side to side as dogs tend to do. One of the rabbit hutches was open and the hutch was empty. He tried to rescue the rabbit, but to no avail … it was a gonner!
‘The White Rabbit’ story … preparing for the final scene:
What was he going to do about it? That was his immediate problem. And he only had two days to find a solution. First of course, he dealt with the mess in the yard caused by his dog, and then he and the dog went back to their house. Over a strong cup of tea (though he would have preferred a double whisky) he decided that this is what he would do:
He would google ‘white pedigree rabbits’ and see if he could find another local breeder who might be able to sell him a ‘replacement’ bunny. Thankfully it didn’t take long to identify a breeder who lived not too far away in the next neighbourhood. So off he went to see this man, taking with him a photo of some of the other white rabbits in next door’s collection. To him of course, they all looked the same!
When he got there, he was quite delighted to be told by his newly found expert that all white rabbits of that particular type where indeed almost identical, and that the only thing that separated them would be the adjudication of the expert judges at a rabbit show. Phew! What a relief.
He felt so relieved that he was almost happy, until that is, he was told the price of the replacement … $950! With no other option, he left with the bunny, but quite cleaned out of funds. He had the replacement, and when his neighbor returned everything would look the same in the back yard.
The final scene for ‘The White Rabbit’ story:
After his return home, he first put the new rabbit into the empty hutch in the rabbit yard, giving it food and water. He was determined to keep the yard looking good for the next two days for when the fancier-man returned.
On the morning that the rabbit-man was due to return, he was particularly nervous. Everything was surely OK, but what if the rabbit expert identified the new rabbit as ‘different’? He’d been assured that all these rabbits did look alike, but never-the-less he couldn’t stop wondering … “what if?”
He sat down in his favourite chair pretending to read the morning newspaper, but not really reading at all. He couldn’t keep his mind off “what if?”!
Then … the doorbell rang. Up he jumped. Answering the door he found the rabbit-man there; told him all was well and gave him the key back. The rabbit-man was holding a bottle of whisky which he presented as a thank-you gift. After exchanging a few more words the men parted and went their separate ways, one to the rabbit yard, the other to his favourite armchair (with a double whisky in hand).
Before he had chance to take the first sip of the golden liquid, the doorbell rang once more. Terrified! (Had the man spotted the imposter?) he rushed to open the door. There, he found his neighbor looking as if he’d seen a ghost; white-as-a-sheet and almost out-of-breath:
“I, I, I … I opened the gate and checked the rabbits and … and … and I got a real shock. All the hutches had healthy-looking rabbits in them, but one of the rabbits shocked me so much that I’m still shaking as you can see”
(At this point, the other man decided to come clean quickly, and own-up), but before he could utter a single word, the rabbit-man continued …:
“Just before I left two days ago, I found one of the rabbits dead, so needing to deal with things quickly before leaving, I took the rabbit out of its hutch and buried it. This morning when … when … when I went into the yard … it had come alive!”
Now, the other man did speak, but not to own-up. He said:
“Come in … it looks as if you need a double whisky!”
You can find my other FUN Stories via this link to my Family & Fun Collection
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“Fred Has Fun with a White Rabbit” * written by Fred: writer on Medium * * * * * © Fred Ogden 2021 * * * * * Thank you for reading … Hope you enjoyed the read.
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