Follow the Leader: When He Talks, People Listen
Invite everyone on a vacation, he once suggested: So we did
Classic ad: Someone mentions his broker is E.F. Hutton. The whole room goes silent, leaning in. Takeaway: “When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen.”
True leaders have a way of influencing us without even trying. They enter a room without saying a word, but people notice. The secret of leadership: Successful people have wise coaches, friends who help show them the way.
“Don’t follow the crowd: Let the crowd follow you,’’ Margaret Thatcher said.
Kids play “Follow the Leader.” John F. Kennedy played recordings of Winston Churchill over and over, speaking along to improve his oratory skills. Leaders inspire followers to try something similar.
Business, education, government, science, nonprofits, politics, and theology all rely on past history, plans, laws, and standards. Your sector or market influences everything.
But mostly, we follow leaders and influencers we admire. We learn by imitating their successes and avoiding their mistakes. Either way, their experiences are part of our education.
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” — John Maxwell.
From medicine to skilled trades, the students follow and imitate experts. The Bible is full of aspiring leaders following a rabbi (meaning teacher), memorizing, learning the best way. The family, Church, and Western Civilization follow this same model: the founder inspires. Followers study them then find their own way.
Every Thursday, our fellowship group sits in a circle, learning from each other, knowing each has a different piece of the puzzle.
When our friend Butch speaks, everyone listens. If you’ve ever wished for a beautiful Audi, he had something to do with your desire. He’s one of the reasons the brand went from near failure to becoming a beloved symbol of success. He’s also a coach, a believer, and a great guy. So everyone listens intently when he speaks.
Essential Advice: How to heal any relationship
One morning over eggs and toast at the Five Pointes Cafe, our friend Butch taught us the way to keep any group together and raise them to a higher level: Organize and pay for a trip and nearly everyone will come, he said. He invites every child, grandchild, and their families on an all-expenses-paid vacation.
Immediately I thought, “That’s it! Perfect.”
We had one tiny problem: Not enough money. We couldn’t even afford the dream of getting “a cottage” on some beautiful waterfront. The real challenge: finding a place that you, your spouse, kids, and their kids would all want to travel to on vacation.
“Don’t tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.” — George S. Patton Jr.
Finally, our own version of our way came: a very flexible Hilton Grand Vacations program allowing us to buy a share of our “dream place” in our beloved Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
Bonus: smaller units for “couple-time” and bigger multi-bedroom units for the “family-time.” One remaining challenge: getting everyone to come.
Our first scheduled “family time” trip was set for May, but most U.S. states and our resorts shut down. We then reserved a stunning three-bedroom Ocean Enclave unit, perfectly timed for Father’s Day as well as our June wedding anniversary.
The only problem? None of the kids came. One wasn’t allowed to leave the state by his employer (a condition of a government loan), the other one was scared of the pandemic, and the third said, “Dad, we’ve gotta work. We don’t take vacations.” Really?
Finally, our son and daughter-in-law came in early September, and we spent a Heavenly time together, sharing excellent meals, enjoying the ocean, the beach, the pool, shopping, the boardwalk. How can one trip be so good?
Get your family or organization together in some ideal place, and it’s a fresh start, a chance for perfect renewal and enjoying life, learning more about the other’s feelings and thinking. Instead of work, the organizing, overriding goal is joy.
“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” — William Arthur Ward.
A week in paradise: What could go wrong?
No week is perfect, even in paradise. Our son’s cravings for Cook Out fast-food and the K&W Cafeteria food he enjoyed as a kid weren’t what we had in mind.
Servant Leadership. Like the father of the prodigal son, you welcome your beloved back home with an open embrace. And when the 30-something kids want to chase dolphins or parasail, you smile and say, “Here’s the car keys. Have a great time. I’ll be by the pool. Text me when you’re back.”
I couldn’t afford to pay all our kid’s expenses, but we drove while they flew (they got a great deal), but that also meant helping them in another way.
During the trip, our son bought five light fixtures for his house (unavailable at his local Costco). Could we take the five lanterns, his two boogie boards, and all of his luggage (so he wouldn’t have to pay the airline’s massive baggage fees)?
You smile and say, “Of course, we’ll make room” (in our tiny sporty convertible that doesn’t have much of a trunk but the backseat folds down).
I smiled, thinking of the old lessons about a father being willing to carry all his family’s burdens, even being willing to die for them.
So we got up early, packed two boogie boards, two beach chairs, and seven bags from the floor to the roof of our little convertible. What a beautiful metaphor of what a good father does for his children: carrying their load? Literally.
A dear friend recently had twins and described his infant son doing what newborns do when they aren’t eating or sleeping and how his new son made a mess in his father’s hands. Babies can’t understand they’re messing up their old dad’s hands. A wise father laughs and thinks, “If you only knew. Someday, years from now, I will tell you the story.”
Takeaway: Sometimes I’m like Mr. Magoo, saved from disaster
We decided to make the 799-mile journey home in one straight drive, stopping for gas in Pilot Mountain, N.C. To speed up the trip, I put the gas pump into our gas tank, ran in the service station to go to the bathroom as the tank filled, came out, and got in the car raring to go.
Suddenly, as I pulled away, I saw a truck driver in a baseball cap standing and shouting, “Whoa! WHOA!” That was a huge gift.
I slammed my foot on the brake, looked back, and remembered the gas pump hose — still connected to our moving car. I stopped just in time to avoid damage.
I chuckled and thought of the cartoon character, Mr. Magoo, who could barely see and somehow amazingly drove and walked around, narrowly avoiding one disaster after another.
How have Mr. Magoo and I dodged so many disasters? Because we stand on the shoulders of giants who came before us.
We don’t believe in coincidences. We’ve listened to trusted family, friends, and advisors who act as our seeing-eye dogs or expert tour guides. Their guidance helps show us the way to go, the way life is, and the way it might be someday.