Summary

The text reflects on themes of blame, self-perception, and personal growth, with the narrator grappling with internalized negative labels and striving to break free from external expectations.

Abstract

The narrative delves into the emotional journey of someone who has internalized blame and negative self-perception due to external influences. The text oscillates between the narrator's acceptance of guilt and their realization of the manipulation and lies they have been fed. It explores the struggle to meet societal and personal expectations of being "good" or "bad," and the pressure to conform to rigid standards. The narrator reflects on the impact of these expectations on their identity, from childhood to adulthood, and ultimately acknowledges their worth beyond these labels. The piece concludes with an invitation for the reader to contribute their own stories, suggesting a community of shared experiences and healing.

Opinions

The narrator initially believes they are inherently bad, as they have been told, and attempts to "fix" themselves to be good.
There is a sense of frustration and exhaustion from constantly trying to meet others' expectations, symbolized by the repetition of tools and fixing.
The text criticizes the societal message that money equates to goodness and the lack of a nuanced understanding of morality.
The narrator expresses anger at being manipulated and gaslighted, realizing the coldness and sweetness of the lies they were fed.
A transformation occurs as the narrator rejects the imposed identity and embraces their true self, which is warm, malleable, and soft.
The narrator acknowledges the difficulty in defining oneself in concrete terms, especially when faced with constant judgment and the need to be accepted.
The inclusion of the "Be Open Says;" section suggests that the platform welcomes diverse perspectives and encourages personal expression as a form of empowerment and community building.

Fix this

If only I could

If only I could

fix this

if only I could

you ask of me

too much

you ask of me

I took the blame

from you

I took the blame

Always, I

I took

the blame

from you

I replaced what I stole

and I only stole

so I could replace

can’t you see?

I thought I was bad

because you told me so

you told me I was bad

I stole

isn’t that what bad girls

do?

isn’t that what bad girls do?

I always thought bad girls became

good when they fixed

everything

when they promised never

ever to be bad again

and convinced the ones who said

they were bad they were good

hammer and nail

nail and hammer

drill and screw

and screw and drill

and

I’ve had enough

I’ve had enough so

I’ve had enough so I

breathe

leave

believe

me I

only wanted

to say

I took

the lies

you left

on the bed

I’m sorry

they were so cold

and so sweet

From a young age, I was taught

money

fixes a lot

$$$$$$$$$$ = Good &

????????????= Bad &

I guess to a certain extent

this was our entire education

I am full of ??????

like ? the F%*K &

who am I

to say I’m sorry when

you are the one who

wanted me sorry

I’ve taken to the hammer

every F*&King day of my life

Now you’ve got me mad

isn’t that what you wanted?

I’m bad, or good, or something else

entirely

hard to say, exactly

In the workshop, I’ve been asked to be more

concrete as if I am cement and was always meant

to be colder, tougher, greyer, and I took it

like I’ve always taken it, and believed every word

to be colder, tougher, greyer, I took it

like I’ve always taken it. I’ve believed every word

you’ve said, since forever, really and now

there’s nothing I can do but get it out

like, I’ve always taken it, ’cause I believed

I was wrong, and you’ve said, since forever

really, there’s nothing wrong, and I am fine

being warm, malleable, soft — I’ve never been

allowed that

I’ve gotten away from myself and forgotten what I came here for

here are all my tools laid out on the bench

take each one, examine it, put it back

then decide which you want to use

Be Open Says;

We Invite You to Become Our Writer — Be Open Submission Guidelines

You don’t have to be a great writer or super perfect human to contribute here. I believe everyone can become inspirator…

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