Five Undeniable Truths That Proves You Are Comparing Yourself with Others

Signs you are insecure, but you don’t want to admit it.

I’m insecure about a lot of things. Growing up, I used to be insecure about my body, how broke I was, not having a man I could call a boyfriend.

Though I have outgrown some of my insecurities, some still stick up their necks and bend me to shame.

Just yesterday, someone made a passive comment about someone’s hair. I thought they were talking about me, so I turned around and walked to the opposite side of the café.

I like braiding my hair, but I usually style it in afro when I wear it naturally. I get lots of compliments on my natural hair. It’s thick and long. But sometimes, the busybodies will make fun of my curls.

The hatred for African 4C hair gets to me whenever I wear my hair naturally. So when I heard some strangers make a pass about my someone else’s hair, it really sent shivers down my spine.

In general, I’m a very confident person. However, confidence doesn’t have any correlation to insecurities.

You can be incredibly confident in your daily life but still have insecurities with the little voices at the back of your head saying “you are not good enough,” “you’re not smart enough,” “you’re not tall enough,” “you’re not good looking enough,” “you don’t have enough money,” and it sucks.

Everyone has insecurities from time to time. Most of the time, social networks drag out our insecurities.

You see people show off their extravagant lifestyle, and you feel bad about yourself.

You think everyone is doing great, living their wildest dreams, and you feel stuck sucking up to a lousy boss on a 9 to 5. You think everyone has their lives planned out, except you.

Insecurities can wreak havoc on your mental health unless you learn how to confront them.

What happens when your insecurities get the best of you

When your insecurities routinely get the best of you, this takes a toll on your emotional and physical wellbeing in the long run.

Your insecurities can keep you from romantic relationships important job opportunities, lower your self-esteem and aggravate your anxiety.

Social media does not make this burden any easier to bear. With social media, we are now exposed to social comparison and feel pressured to live an Instagram worthy life.

Our insecurities are hard to notice because they are invisible, but here are some hard-to-miss signs you are insecure about yourself.

You are so obsessed with perfection

You have an ingrained need for perfectionism in all that you do. You feel drained, unmotivated, and exhausted pursuing any goal.

This perfectionist mindset is because you want to feel approved by others. You want to feel worthy of their love and respect.

Unhealthy perfectionism is caused by internal pressures like the “shoulds” and “musts” that run through your mind. These thoughts invariably cause you to be critical, criticize and develop the fear of failure and low self-esteem.

Perfectionism causes you to set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Leading to more internal frustration.

You are over competitive

Even if you feel absolutely flawless in your abilities, you can still feel insecure when you see a friend doing better than you.

Your self-esteem could be tied to how others perceive you and your achievements. Having an over-competitive behavior could result from a competitive environment, fragile self-esteem, narcissism, or social apathy.

All these reasons point to an attempt to protect a superiority complex.

Sometimes when parents ignore their child’s physical and emotional needs, this develops an inferiority complex in that child.

And when they grow up, they seek to compensate for their unmet needs, thereby working extremely hard to better than everyone else.

Do you feel superior when you do well but distraught and ashamed when you don’t? That’s a sign you are insecure.

You want to please everyone else but yourself

People pleasers are motivated by a strong desire for approval and external validation and may feel insecure in their relationships.

This insecurity makes you conform to other people’s opinions and expectations even when you don’t want to.

You might find yourself saying yes to every request just be appear nice and valuable to others.

This behavior will only attract rude, selfish, and unforgiving people who, instead of appreciating that you’ve put their needs first, treat you like a doormat.

You are detached from other people

You act more aloft and not entirely comfortable when you are around people you don’t know. You struggle to trust people.

This could be related to your attachment style. One study proves that people who have anxious resistant attachment styles are likely to have insecurities in their relationships.

They often worry that others do not love them or that they would not fit in.

They can be aggressive or unpredictable toward their loved ones — a behavior that is rooted in the lack of consistent love and affection they experienced in their childhood.

You have a loud inner critic voice

Your source of insecurity may be a loudly critical voice telling you how unworthy you are.

This inner dialogue may be a result of early childhood traumatic events.

Typically as your inner voice becomes louder, the closer you are to achieving your goals. So if the negative voice repeatedly says, “you are incapable of achieving something.” You will start to react to this thought by becoming physically and emotionally insecure.

The best way to combat this voice is by asking yourself, what experience from your past helped shape this thought?

This will help separate your self-worth from the negative ideas and allow you to feel self-compassion.

You get offended by every little thing

Some people are good at controlling their emotions. They are not easily triggered by what people say to them.

But if you are the type to explode in a fit of rage when people criticize you, it could be a sign of ingrained insecurities.

This insecurity arises when you attribute what is said to you or your actions to reflect your self-worth.

A weak sense of confidence causes you to become inflamed in the face of criticism, and eventually, you push back, especially if the comment strikes a cord of self-doubt.

Final thoughts

We all face moments of insecurities when we are rejected or doubt ourselves. What defines the moment is not the insecurity itself but how we react to it.

You have to protect yourself. You should be your number one priority for as long as you feel insecure, not for convenience.

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