10 Most Savage Things You Can Do To Your Ex To Feel Better After A Breakup

She superglued his shaving cream, deodorant and toothpaste closed as payback.

I always find it amusing how two people can love each other so much and will do anything for each other, suddenly turn to mortal enemies.

It sucks when you break up with someone you love. It sucks so bad you wouldn’t want to get out of bed, talk to anyone, or eat.

Sometimes you feel like you can no longer physically do what you used to do. All you can do is lie in bed, staring into space, get stuck in your thoughts, and cry. Sadness, anger, and fear overwhelm you for days and nights.

You become the worst imaginable version of yourself, especially if the breakup resulted from cheating.

This kind of betrayal leads to a lot of anger and resentment. It’s normal to want revenge on someone who cheated on you and made a mockery of you.

However, instead of feeling sorry for yourself over something entirely out of your control, here are some petty things women in your shoes have shared that will help to ease your pain.

Give him a pregnancy scare

“He repeatedly cheated on me with multiple women, so I had my pregnant roommate piss on a test and drop it at his front door. No note, no way to know who it came from. The panic was real. It took a long time to get through his list of other girls in his attempt to find his potential baby mama. Till today he still thinks he’s got a kid out there somewhere.”

Steal his favorite toy

“I ceased his $20 bong that he was somehow spiritually and emotionally attached to. I knew he loved that stupid thing more than anything. He was so angry and kept calling my parents home after I moved. My stepdad was so annoyed with my pettiness that he looked at me after a very stupid phone call, took the bong, and smashed it with a hammer. I really cringed at that particular time in my life.”

Give out his number to random guys

“After blocking my ex-boyfriend’s number, I would give his number to every guy who asked for my number. I went barhopping every weekend during that point in my life, so it happened semi-frequently. I’m sure it made his blood boil to have dudes texting his phone looking for me.”

Flaunt your newly acquired asset in his face

My ex loved super nice cars, but he was always broke. He broke up with me by gifting me a pair of socks and telling me it wasn’t working out for us. The following week I bought myself a new car, the exact same car he constantly talked about but was too broke to buy for himself. I made sure he saw it by driving through the parking garage he was working at as the ticket guy, and it felt fucking good to see his face as he handed me that ticket.”

Soak their wine in hot water

“My ex had a mediocre wine collection that he was very proud of. Since both of our names were on the lease, we were stuck together for a few months. Just before packing, when he was out of town on a trip, I took each bottle out of the wine fridge and placed them in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes until they were nicely grilled. Then I put them back into the fridge.”

Take out your anger on his property

“I broke up with a total douche drug addict asshole. I needed to pick up the last of my things, so I stopped by his apartment. While I was at his place, I superglued everything I would think- his toothpaste, shaving cream, deodorant, wallet, tv remote, gaming pad, etc. Lastly, before leaving, I grabbed the nearest item that I could find, which happened to be a cement paver square, and smashed it onto his front doorstep. I’m not proud of that moment. It was petty and stupid and emotional, but I felt relieved after doing it.”

Abandon his car in an undisclosed location

“He was an alcoholic and abusive. After a fight, he confessed he had been cheating for two months with a girl he swore they were just friends to spite me. I was rummaging through one of my junk drawers and discovered that I still had his spare key. I’m not a petty person, and honestly, I don’t even wish him anything bad. However, I moved his car two blocks every morning for a week. And on the last day, when I was sure it’s been a week of being late to work, and I was on the edge of losing my mind, I left his car farther away from where I usually park it. I disorganized the inside and turned up the volume of the song playing. Did I find it healthy? Not really, but it was damn awesome.”

If his defaulting civic responsibilities expose him

“He cheated on me after 12 years with someone he met at work. When we broke up, he lost his job and ended up falling behind on his car payment. The repo company had my place as his last known address, so when they showed up here looking for the car, I invited them in, used Facebook to get them as much info on him and his new girlfriend as possible, gave them his parent’s address and sent them on their way with a smile.”

Recoup your losses in a cheesy way

“My ex needed a fridge after we broke up: my dad and I found a shitty one for $25, cleaned it pretty well, then charged him $150. I also pre-ground my ex’s weed with my grinder as a service gift and gave him mostly stems mixed with chamomile as I kept 100% of his weed in my weed catcher. After seven years of his emotional abuse, while supporting his lazy ass with my income, it felt good to recoup some tiny losses and didn’t harm him a bit.”

Have his debts increased, then forward it to him

“I broke up with a controlling, manipulative older guy. He had always talked about how he was suicidal because of me. When I left, he texted me that he was killing himself, clearly staged in an attempt to get me to take him back. Well, I called his bluff and did what any considerate person would do. I had him 5150'd. He was fucking pissed, mostly because of the ambulance and hospital charges. Apparently, the dumbass put my address on his hospital forms that night. About four months later, some letters addressed to him turned up in my mailbox. They were ambulance bills, each one increasing with late charges. After my friend and I died laughing, I decided to wait for a few more letters before filling him in. Eventually, my friend delivered an unopened one to him at his workplace. She heard him screaming “FUCK” as she walked out the door. It still feels awesome when I think about that breakup.”

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