Psychology | Mindfulness
Five Simple Ways Mindfulness Can Help You Overcome Trauma
DEP Book Project- Mindfulness is the cornerstone of EQ which helps process, express, and regulate emotions otherwise repressed by trauma.
Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, breathwork, and yoga practice are highly regarded and being used as treatment for healing and overcoming many forms of trauma, including childhood wounds. Mindfulness works as a bridge between our cognitive mind and emotional body. Our soul communicates through our emotions and so in order to start healing we must pay attention to the emotional body, the way we feel, it’s states and ways of responding.
By raising our emotional intelligence we work on building skills that allow us to process, express, and regulate our emotional states. When we are able to find stillness, we can calm the sympathetic nervous system that is out of alignment and come back into present moment awareness where we can restore that stability.
“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” ~James Baraz
I invite you to join me in a short mindful meditation and stretching practice:
Close your eyes for a moment. Scan your body mentally. Notice any areas where you may be holding tension. Now release your shoulders allowing them to drop away from your ears. Take a few long breaths in through your nose and out through your nose. Now, roll your shoulders forward three times and then backwards three times. Take three more inhales through your nose and out through your nose. Now roll you’re your right ear toward your right shoulder, pause, breathe in deeply through your nose and out deeply through your nose. Now roll your chin down toward your chest, pause, breath in deeply through your nose and out deeply through your nose. Finally, roll your left ear toward your left shoulder, pause, and breathe in deeply through your nose and out deeply through your nose. Bring your head back to neutral. Take another deep breath and with your eyes closed scan your body once again. Notice how you feel.
This breathing and gentle mindful meditation and stretching/ relaxation practice is one that you can continue to use and practice any time you feel stress and anxiety building. It is also a wonderful idea to practice it randomly throughout the day as sometimes we are not even aware of how much tension we are carrying.
Most people who have experienced trauma, abuse, and or neglect as children have lower emotional intelligence and difficulty regulating their nervous system. They have trouble processing, expressing, and regulating emotions which causes adverse effects with their ability to empathize and experience intimacy emotionally in relationships.
The good news is that we all have the ability to raise our emotional intelligence at any stage in life, and mindfulness is the cornerstone for EQ, creating awareness. Higher emotional intelligence improves all aspects of life including relationships and career. Daniel Goleman, a well-known Psychologist, who writes about EQ explains that the five main elements of emotional intelligence are:
1. Self-Awareness
2. Motivation
3. Self-Regulation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” ~ Daniel Goleman
Practicing mindfulness gives us the ability to observe and to come to a deeper level of consciousness where we can find understanding. Coming back to present moment awareness is critical in regulating the nervous system and processing and expressing emotions. When stressed, or triggered by negative emotion, if we use a mindful technique to return from the fight or flight stage where thoughts were distorted and emotions were elevated, back into a calm state we can then compose ourselves rather than react.
Everything we do is ultimately a choice. However, when we are in a heightened state of negative emotion and our thoughts are distorted, it becomes very difficult to make rational decisions. Returning to the parasympathetic, or calm state of mind, is critical to living a rational, joyful, and healthy life. I just read a story yesterday that touched me and reminded me again what an impact a positive mindset can have in life by Joseph Lieungh I hope you will take a minute to read his heartwarming story about slowing down below. Mindfulness allows us to choose a positive mindset and allows us to live a love and soul-based life rather than an ego or fear based life.
Reasons Emotional Intelligence Goes Hand in Hand with Mindfulness
- Meditation: meditation allows us to quiet the mind. It is not about blocking out thoughts, but instead focusing on a singular thought and inviting the mind to simply quiet. It is in that calm quiet state that the answers we seek often suddenly appear with clarity.
- Self-Confidence- when we build our own self-confidence, we no longer need external validation. We are better able to regulate ourselves and also support others. We can try new things and excel.
- Self-accountability/ forgiveness: Learning to take responsibility is so important, but being mindful to be gentle and forgiving with ourselves when we make mistakes is equally valuable.
- Motivation- learning to self-motivate helps prevent procrastination which is a form of self-sabotage. Attaching a reward to a task is one excellent way to stay motivated. I also like to prioritize my to-do lists and cross them off so that I feel that sense of accomplishment.
- Empathy- is the key to social relationships. With empathy we learn to truly understand our own feelings and then apply that understandstanding and awareness to those around us. When we are stressed we do not have the ability to be as empathetic, so mindfulness increases empathy.
Conclusion
Mindfulness helps you become more comfortable with difficult emotions and circumstances by raising your emotional intelligence because you then have the tools of empathy, motivation, communication, and the ability to process, express, and regulate your emotions that you have learned through self-awareness as well as the awareness of those around you. Staying present you are less likely to react and better able to sit with whatever is happening. Mindfulness also creates resilience which is a wonderful superpower that allows us to bounce back gracefully from difficult situations.
References:
Mindfulness-alliance.org
Thank you to the supportive editorial team to whom this project would not be possible without! Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Sharing Randomly!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate your claps to show support and your comments. Please click here to receive my articles as they publish and I invite you to click here to join the Medium Partner Program where for only $5 a month you can read unlimited articles as well as write if that is something you are interested in and a small portion of that fee supports my writing efforts which is greatly appreciated.
For those who do not know me, I am Libby Shively McAvoy and I am a Personal Development and Life Coach specializing in Emotional Intelligence. I have survived both physical and emotional abuse and I deeply believe that teaching emotional intelligence can greatly decrease the amount of abuse happening in our society. I appreciate you all so much. Peace & Love!
