Five Keys To a Better You
Unlocking a life that’s a bit easier to manage.
We all want to be better people. Or, maybe, be better at being people — if that makes sense.
Look, things have been rough lately. The pandemic has affected us in ways we’re still coming to terms with. There’s war happening. There is civil unrest. There’s an uncomfortable amount of history happening, and it’s putting a lot of stress on people.
But you don’t have to let it get to you entirely.
There are things you can do to keep growing and being a positive, healthy-minded person.
Actually, even if there wasn’t a pandemic or war or other nonsense going on in the world, these key things to do would still be helpful.
Want to be a better you? Here’s how.
Stop Caring What Others Think Of You
I don’t think I really embraced this idea until I was nearly thirty, but it became a real game-changer for me.
I blame the schools — or the so-called “culture” of adolescence. We’re conditioned early to fit in with our peers. That often meant reacting and adjusting behavior to fit in with the group.
It’s a system that outlives its usefulness quickly but is nonetheless carried forward well beyond our school years.
And therein lies the problem.
As adults, we often are still constrained or guided by peer pressure. Sometimes that’s not so harmful, but many times it keeps us from being who we are.
And worse, it gets in the way of being happy.
The truth is, as adults, no one really cares anymore what you do.
And the only people you really need to worry about are those closest to you. Concentrate on you being you, and you’ll find yourself at greater peace with yourself.
And to hell with anyone else.
Embracing Imperfection As Process
Not every drawing will be perfect. Not every guitar piece will come out perfect. Nor will every omelet.
That’s okay.
For the most part, there’s little need to be absolutely perfect in anything.
Instead, imperfection gives you a reason to practice and hone whatever skill you’re working on. And the process of learning and practicing leads to growth — not just in the skill, but in you as a person.
And here’s a trick.
Purposefully be imperfect. Sometimes you discover new beauty. Or new ways to do something in the process. An imperfect watercolor often has more character than something hyper-realistic. A song with rough chords or rhythm can be more heartfelt than something mechanically on point.
Play around with imperfection, and treat it all as part of the process.
Have a Hobby You Care About
Folks who recognize my name in the byline might be familiar with another topic I often write about — Dungeons and Dragons.
Yes, the tabletop roleplaying game that is swiftly approaching its 50th anniversary. I’ve been playing since 1978, and I have no regrets. It’s a fun game. It engages not only my imagination and creativity but also hones my thinking and planning skills.
It’s a hobby I’ve been engaged with for a long, long time. I’ve made friends through this hobby. It’s given me outlets. It’s given me distractions. It’s given me something to care about that’s not all that important in the grand scheme of things…
And that’s the point.
Me playing D&D has pretty much nothing else to do with my life other than it being something I enjoy.
But in order to enjoy it, I need to carve out some time. And that’s a good thing.
When I set aside time for Dungeons and Dragons, I’m establishing some me time. And that’s the self-care we’re looking for.
It doesn’t matter what the hobby is. You could collect stamps. You could play video games. You could knit.
Whatever your hobby, reserve time for it and pursue it. This is your time to engage in something that is all about your enjoyment.
It’s okay to be a little selfish now and then. It’s even necessary.
Limit Time Spent With Negative People
Sometimes you just run into people who rarely have anything positive to say or contribute.
Sometimes it’s because they’re all going through problems of their own. But equally, sometimes they get their sense of power from naysaying everything.
Who needs that? Not you. Not me.
If you’ve got negative people around you who are sucking the joy from your life, you don’t have to feel bad about cutting them out of your life. It’s a question of self-defense.
It can get tricky when the negative person is a family member or co-worker. That said, in the long run, you’re going to be a better, happier person if you limit your contact with negative people as much as possible.
They aren’t there to help you.
See a Doctor
Hear me out.
A few years ago, I was suffering from depression and fatigue. On top of that, my hands and feet hurt, and my eyesight was worsening. I was kind of a mess.
Some of you may recognize what was happening.
I had been without health insurance for years, but thanks to my wife’s new job, I could finally go see a doctor without heading to the poorhouse. (Welcome to America.)
In any case, I get there, and within minutes I’ve been diagnosed with out-of-control Type II diabetes. My A1C was so high the doctor said, “Why the hell aren’t you in a coma?!” Actual quote.
They pumped me full of fast-acting insulin, set me up with a nutritionist, and prescribed me a Type II starter pack (glucose tester, pills, insulin, etc.).
It was actually pretty surprising how quickly I started to feel better. We apparently got to me just in time as most of the hand and foot pain eventually disappeared. My eyesight got back to normal. And knowing to stay off carbs and initiate other diet changes helped me be less tired.
I still have Type II diabetes, but it is controlled now, and I feel a lot better. And a lot less depressed.
I actually believe in my future again.
Look, I get the challenges with receiving affordable medical care. But if you can manage it, see a doctor regularly. You never know when an undiagnosed issue may be what’s getting between you as you are now and you being a happier person.
Make Happiness a Mission
A mission. A goal. A target.
However you view it, at least make it somewhat of a priority.
Don’t fret too much if you’re not always successful. In other worse, don’t let a mission of being a better person end up making you miserable.
But, just the same, try to go forward, even if there is the occasional backstep.
You can do it, and you’ll be better for engaging in the process.
Cheers!
About John Teehan
John lives in Rhode Island with his wife, son, and dog. He specializes in tech, health, business, parenting, pop culture, and gaming. Visit wordsbyjohn.net for more info and rates. Twitter: @WordsByJohn2.
Do you like poetry, short fiction, and general oddities? Check out my new book, Life Among Psychopaths: an unexpected potpourri, now available on Amazon.
