Five Hot Tips If You Hate Your Boss
Do you have a bad boss story? I know loads of people who do because of the nature of my work. The emotional scars linger long after you or your Boss has left the department/company.
Let’s face it; you’ll have great bosses, rubbish bosses and somewhere in-between ones throughout your career.
Did you know 57 per cent of employees have left a job because of their Manager? Employees don’t leave companies, they leave their managers (Source: DDI)
When Work Becomes Cumbersome
It’s soul-destroying when you hate your Boss because going to work becomes a chore and not something to look forward to.
I understand most people don’t go to work for fun, but on average, we spend 1/3 of our life at work. Therefore, you want to be there, not dread going to work.
Why Some Bosses Are Awful
Your Boss is human, believe it or not. Ease off the negativity, and don’t let the situation escalate. Bad bosses are prevalent in organisations; below, you’ll find a few. I’m sure you could add one or two of your own
✳️They’re trying to protect themselves Their insecurities ✳️Imposter syndrome ✳️Inexperience ✳️Personal life ✳️Incompetence ✳️Top Down pressure ✳️Territorial and limited mindset ✳️Control/Authority ✳️Ego
Imagine The Following:
James worked in a team of 10 people at a large financial services firm and was considered one of the team until the Boss left. Since he was one of the most experienced staff members on the team, he was appointed the Manager. Within a short time, the cracks appeared.
The first Manager was tough but lenient on many occasions, depending on the individual. She was more of a mother hen figure than a hotshot Fortune 500 boss.
However, she had excellent people skills, while James didn’t; it showed over time. The original Boss created a fun working environment when she was in the mood. Other times, it was heads down, and get on with it. The team didn’t grumble because they knew she had some personal issues.
When James took over, the department had a different vibe, and some team members struggled to adjust to his new style; the team had a more significant disconnect.
James also spent more time in his office and often closed his office door more often than the Boss did, which created a psychological divide.
The team members were scrutinised carefully and held to account, but most followed the new transparency measures. James had 1–2–1 feedback sessions with his team, but the sessions felt transactional. He was fast losing the team’s respect and loyalty.
As James grew in his role, he started implementing new procedures and policies. They seemed rigid, but they were business-dictated, not something he decided. However, it didn’t help because James didn’t communicate openly about why they were in place. It was, as he said, ‘the way it is’.
Some team members found his style too rigid and started personalising things. The working environment felt more stifled, and some members began to rebel. They started working to rule, which created a seismic chasm within the team dynamics.
James played by the rule book, which got the work done, and got brownie points from the powers above for ‘knocking the team’ into shape. However, it came at the expense of camaraderie and the collegiate spirit within the team.
So, what should you do if you hate your Boss?
Here’s my Top 5 list
✳️Don’t Personalise Anything ✳️Be Professional at all times ✳️Keep a journal ✳️Seek Support ✳️Avoid gossip
- Don’t Personalise Anything
Be clear and assertive in communicating with a boss if you don’t like/a problematic colleague or Boss. Avoid being aggressive or passive; use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs.
Listen actively to their responses, and try to find a compromise or solution that works for both of you.
2. Be Professional
When dealing with a difficult colleague or Boss, it is important to remain professional and avoid getting defensive or emotional. Keep your tone respectful and focus on the facts of the situation rather than on personal opinions or feelings.
Avoid tot-for-tat because it will get you nowhere. Instead, it may exacerbate the situation. It might be challenging, but try and look at things from their perspective. What are their motivations and concerns? What are their communication styles and preferences? Understanding their perspective allows you to tailor your approach and find common ground.
3. Keep A Journal
Keep a journal to process your thoughts and feelings. Journaling will help you process and will lead to clarity.
You might also wish to record all communication and interactions with a demanding boss. This can be helpful if the situation escalates or you need to provide evidence of your actions or behaviour.
4. Seek Support
Don’t hesitate to seek Support from colleagues, mentors, or HR professionals if you feel the situation is becoming too difficult to manage independently. They may be able to provide you with valuable insights, advice, or Support to help you navigate the situation.
5. Avoid Gossip
Avoid gossiping about your Boss to colleagues because you’re not helping the situation. Gossiping to others isn’t pleasant in any shape or form; plus, you might be adding ‘fuel to the fire’ instead of containing the smoke.
Instead, focus on your goals and objectives, and you’ll feel better. Plus, you might want to conserve your energy and engage in well-being practices as you deal with your challenges.
What happened to James?
Going back to James, one of his staff members struggled to get on with his style, and they had a big bust-up. James was patient but kept his cool. He should have terminated the staff member’s contract on the spot, but he waited for the opportune time. He got rid of the person at the first opportunity.
As for James, he learned the hard way that leadership isn’t just about rules; it’s about fostering a positive team environment and communication. So, whether you’re dealing with a James or another micro-manager, remember these tips to navigate the challenging terrain of micromanagement with grace and poise.
Parting Comments
Dealing with a boss you don’t like can be a test of patienceRemember, it’s not about you; your Boss may have their reasons, whether it’s insecurity or pressure from above. While you spend much of your life at work, don’t let it become a soul-sucking chore. Try to understand, adapt, and maintain your professionalism.
Avoid office gossip, don’t create an “us versus them” divide, and seek Support when needed. If things escalate, HR is there for a reason. At home, leave work behind to avoid second-hand stress and prioritise self-care.
If things still don’t work out, get another job. Yes, you heard right, get another job. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking, but no one forces you to stay and be unhappy.
N: B. James is a fictional character.
Thank you for your attention.
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