ASKED AND ANSWERED

Fifty Names to Use for Man Boobs

Hey everybody! Karaoke time is back again!

A little bit ago I posted a story about boobs and what we call our boobs. And when we call our boobs different things. If you’d like to get that background you can look here:

Then a couple days ago as I write this, davidpaul777 left a comment for me speaking about names for man boobs and asked me: “Can you provide an alphabetical list?”

Well can I!? I’ll tell you what, nobody puts things in alphabetical order better than this girl!

But then I started to think about the list and you know what happened, of course. I heard music. What song came into my head? That would be 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.

So I rewrote it. No disrespect to Mr. Simon, but I got rid of the repetition and even added a bonus verse and demi-chorus.

Since I know you are waiting with bated breath — this is where you cue up 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover in your head — here is my poem/song. With apologies to Paul Simon — enjoy!

Fifty Names to Use for Man Boobs

by Aurelia Bliss

“Would you please list the names?” he bravely said to me. And once he’d asked for them, I quickly did agree. “The way to name them is to call out what you see. There must be fifty names to use for man boobs.” I said, “It’s really not my habit to be mean. Furthermore, your question was quite odd and frankly unforeseen. But I surely can address it so let us reconvene.” There must be fifty names to use for man boobs. Fifty names to use for man boobs.

Let’s just give ’em both names, James. They’ll be Swing and Sway, Ray They’re called Left and Right, Dwight It seems so simple to me. Let’s call them The Set, Brett. They’re too much to forget. How ‘bout Beefy Bees, Lee. There’s a trend here to see. Thing 1 and Thing 2, Drew. Or how ‘bout The Boys, Roy I see Extra Veal, Neil. Just let me spill tea. Take Bouncy Boo, Stu. Man boobs are their own cue. Show off what you got, Scott. The best you can be.

I get no pleasure if I’ve caused embarrassment. I feel I just responded to your booby bafflement. So please forgive me if I’m getting adamant, About the 50 names to use for man boobs. He said, “No harm done with your man boob paradigm.” Then, I soundly slept on it to percolate the rhyme. Now I’m back and feel I’m still probably on time, To tell you 50 names to use for man boobs. 50 names to use for man boobs.

So, call them your Front, Blunt Or just Extra Size, Guyz. You might like The Shelf, Ralph Really anything goes. How ‘bout Jelly Roll, Cole. This list never gets old. Call them Hanging Lows, Mose. You know you show those. Oh, call them The Squeeze, Reese. They’re your Extra Fill, Will. I like Jiggle Bugs, Doug. There’s even more I suppose. Your own Private Girl, Earl. Let’s say Secret Stash, Nash. I think Fun Bags would work, Burke. There’s more but who knows.

Now I’m through and must apologize to some degree. I know you clearly asked to see them alphabetically. But this format just turned out to be way more fun for me. So, it’s how I brought out 50 names to use for man boobs. Now let me suggest a follow through on your concern. It seems quite obvious a way to boost up our returns. I think you should consider taking up a turn. You could add to Fifty Names to Use for Man Boobs. 50 names to use for man boobs.

Just fill in the blank, Hank. Jump in and play, Jay. You know what to do, Hugh. Do you get the appeal? What’s your best guess, West? You can name your own tits, Mitt. Say, “My eyes are up here, Dear.” Now you know how I feel.

And that’s a wrap. Bye for now!