Feelings And Emotions In The Aftermath Of The Flood In Eastern Australia 2022

Help And Support Are Needed!

My last article about my own experience in the middle of the floods that were happening all over Australia’s Northeast Coast was probably not one of my best articles.

In between cleaning piles of mud out of houses, trying to get in contact with loved ones when there is no reception and internet whatsoever and getting food and water, there was not much time to sit down and express my thoughts and feelings in an orderly way.

Instead, I just had to put them on paper in whatever way they were floating through my head. Fast, in random order, mixed with feelings of anxiety, panic and uncertainty.

Today, one week after the flood happened in Mullumbimby, the little town where I am living, somewhere on the East Coast of Australia, I can say I am still in disbelief about what has happened.

My partner and I have been both extremely lucky. My little cabin had been just a few centimetres higher than all the houses around it and apart from a very small amount of water and mud, it stayed dry and without major damages. I can’t open one of my doors, as the wood is too swollen up from all the water and bits of my wallpaper are coming off the wall. There are quite a few things that are already mouldy and I am not sure yet, which things I can keep and which ones are destroyed. I am still out of running water and have no reception or internet. So I am still living at my partner’s at the moment. His house is on stilts and could prevent floodwater from coming into the house. We have been really really lucky.

Every day when we are driving into town we see piles and piles of trash, broken belongings of people mixed with a neverending amount of mud. The water is gone and the sun is shining. As if nothing happened it is laughing in our faces. Hundreds of volunteers are helping to clean houses, delivering food and sorting out donations. I cannot say the same about government help. There is barely any military present here. Yesterday, I have seen six army people, after six days of no show, taking photos of themselves and standing around. Maybe they just had a little break and it was just bad timing. However, it is still not enough hands.

With no reception or internet, we have no idea of the actual extent of the situation. I know of people in the hills in the hinterland being cut off completely. Streets and bridges disappeared and were destroyed by the immense power of the water and landslides. Accessible only by hiking for 6 hours through dense forest with the constant fear of another landslide that might take the whole mountain with it. People are missing.

If you want to know more about the disaster that is going on here you can read and see some photos of the devastating flood and accompanying landslides in this article of the Guardian.

These days I have a lot of feelings.

Every night I feel anxious. Two days I was laying in bed shaking, close to a panic attack. I feel guilty, so immensely guilty for being one of the lucky ones who hasn’t lost everything, guilty for not being able to help more. Where to start? Nothing seems to be enough. There is another extreme feeling. I feel disconnected. Lonely. Not knowing what is going on.

In a time where constant reachability and connection are the most normal things, it is extremely hard to function when it is suddenly taken away from you. Especially in such an extreme situation. In a situation where I don’t want to do anything else but to contact my family, friends and other loved ones.

I feel anxious not knowing what is going on. Missing important news and announcements. Tapping around in the dark. Trying to find the light.

It feels like a huge withdrawal. And while I can still feel connected to nature and my surroundings, every day when we drive out of town centre and back to my partners, I miss any sort of human connection. Even if it’s just the virtual one.

I’m usually more introverted and spend a lot of my time by myself. I usually don’t like being reachable all the time. But this time it is different. Once it is not my choice but being taken away from me for a prolonged time, I miss it. I miss being able to contact my family on the other side of the world and check in with my friends and see if they are safe and how they are doing. I miss asking for help and offering my help. I miss being able to know what is going on.

The main thing that prepared my partner and me before the flood happened last week were announcements online about weather warnings.

Yes, I love nature. I love ancestral ways of living. But at this very moment, I realise the privilege we have with some forms of technology. It might not be the same as giving a person a real hug, having a face-to-face conversation and feeling the energy a person gives of, but it is some sort of connection that I am missing at this very moment.

Maybe that means, I have been too involved with the internet and virtual connection before the floods and therefore, I am just feeling it more intense now, that it's gone. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Maybe it means, I should be less online anyways. On the other hand, this is one of the only ways to stay in contact with family and friends when you’re a nomad travelling the world. And I am not ready to give this up. To completely detach myself.

Today I will drive 30 mins to a town not heavily affected by the floods. Looking for someone to hotspot internet so I can tell my family no to worry, to find out my friend’s address in the hills in the hinterland and draw a map so I can come hiking through the forest to her place with some supplies and mental support.

I feel disconnected, guilty, uncertain but at the same time, there is a strange feeling of feeling extremely alive. Everything brought back to survival. My survival and the survival of everyone I love and who surrounds me. And technology makes it easier to know if loved ones are safe.

I can only imagine how people must feel who have lost everything. My thoughts and hearts are with everyone affected.

I’m still out of work due to the aftermaths of the flood, limited access to worksites, no reception or internet and time to help in the community. As a student visa holder, I am not eligible for any of the flood support payments from the government.

If there is anyone with a few spare dollars, I would be extremely grateful if you could donate some money to my buy me a coffee account. Everything exceeding my needs will be donated to other people in need who don’t have enough support. You can also donate money directly to the Red Cross Australia which will use the money to provide humanitarian support to people and communities in Queensland and New South Wales affected by the 2022 floods.

Thanks so so much, Franzi

Franzi is a fine art land- & seascape photographer, writer and crafty girl who spends most of her time in nature capturing moments or writing about anything swirling around in her imaginative head.

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