Feeling Compassion For Another: “You Cannot Give What You Do Not Have”

Resolving feelings of abandonment using energy work

We are never abandoned. Our angels, guides, masters and loved ones who have transitioned are always there.

In order to have compassion for another we must first feel it for ourselves. We can not give what we do not have.

You [we] are infinitely loved.

— Christy Whitman and The Council of Light

Abandonment.

At some point in our lives, most of us will experience some form of abandonment. Often it’s in the form of grief when someone transitions. Or, it could be from a traumatic event, PTSD, or a childhood trauma incident. Like one I had that I did not realize hiding beneath the surface as unresolved, “stuffed” feelings. Emotions that I was not old enough to process at the time.

The first I heard of the word “bushwhack,” I was attending a healing event in Montreal given by my Law of Attraction coach, teacher, and mentor, Christy Whitman, along with The Council of Light. This event was the first time she was channeling The Council publicly, a group of ascended masters she channels for her community. I felt honored to be invited and had traveled up from New York to attend.

I was one of the people that Christy and The Council healed that day. It began my road to recovery from decades of chronic migraines. Three years later, I am a new person and that day was the spark that started my recovery momentum.

Those bushwhacks hit you when you least expect them.

During her speech, she explained that these bushwhacks happen in our lives — coming out of nowhere knocking the wind out of us. Most likely, at the time, we are either not able or not aware enough to process the emotions, and we bury them. But, these feelings are energy (all thoughts are energy) that can block positive flow. That somewhere along the way growing up, someone or something you trusted failed, and it left a mark. Those marks show up eventually as blocks in the form of pain or lack or anxiety — call it anything unwanted. It shows up, and it needs handling.

My very deep “mark” came from when I was in about second grade, and my mother forgot to pick me up after school. I was sitting by myself on a square concrete step outside the gym door at the rear of my deserted elementary school. It was dark, and it was getting cold. I sat there for hours. Because it was the 1970s, the only communication available were landlines and payphones — locked in the building behind the door where the heat, lights, and safety were.

I started to cry. I don’t remember how long I cried. But it was a while. I was only about seven years old. It was awful, and I felt powerless and terrified. I remember wondering how long it would take before my mother would notice I was missing? Would my father get home from work asking where I was? All of these things went through my little child’s mind. All of these memories of my thought process came rushing back. Thoughts I had long forgotten.

I was talking with my mother before she transitioned.

I had forgotten about the entire incident; aka buried it so much that I did not remember it. It was during a conversation that should have triggered it, that I had with my mother the summer before she transitioned, aka crossed over. I was 31 years old at the time. She was hiding how sick she was because she didn’t want to upset my sister, brother, and me. My mother and I were in the garden, talking about life in general. She was getting philosophical with me, feeling she had the right to be given that she had a limited number of days left on this earth since that was what all the doctors told her.

She turned and looked at me and very seriously said, “you’re not ready to forgive me. You are not allowed to forgive me yet. You have no idea how what I’ve done will have affected you yet.” What?! And when I asked what she meant, I got a non-answer. That she did or caused something that would “affect me in a way that I had to forgive her” blew my mind.

It was a terrifying thing to hear your dying mother say. All the more, I was eight months pregnant with my second child, and I was throwing up always. Her statement did not help the situation whatsoever. She never answered the question to my satisfaction. Her response was, “you’ll know.” That was twenty-five years ago.

Then in a live meditation group on Friday…

All of this incident’s memories came flooding back in the meditation yesterday being given by Christy and The Council. It was entirely out of the blue and unexpected. I was even late to the Zoom call and thought I was going to miss something. Oh no. I felt like this one was for me.

As soon as Christy said the word “abandonment,” I stood straight up in the chair — I felt my body jerk. I’m sure it probably shows up on the call recording if she records our Zoom calls. The Council came in and had the group work on having compassion for our inner selves who experienced the feelings I described above. They talked about how there is often excess energy that no longer serves us that are like chords holding us down. When we eliminate those chords, we free ourselves from that old energetic connection.

Letting go of old stuck feelings has nothing to do with love.

It bears noting that it doesn’t mean we no longer love that person. It has nothing to do with love. It has everything to do with forgiveness and compassion. In my case, in particular, letting go of feelings of abandonment. Feelings I buried because I was not capable of processing them at the moment. I disintegrated that chord.

I had to release those feelings first by eliminating the energy holding me back. Then, as The Council said, to have compassion first for me so then, I could have compassion and forgiveness for my loved one, in this case, my mother, who has transitioned. The Council put it in the case of grief, “the abandonment was not about me. Those souls infinitely love me.” In the case of mistakes, as being forgotten like I was, I needed to remove the energetic impact though it was an accident.

It was an incredible breakthrough.

All of the memories came flooding back like a breakthrough or a great release. I cried for about 20 minutes to let it all out. The sense of peace and shift in my consciousness was palpable. The migraine I was energetically pushing away was gone. My next goal is to eliminate the migraines and, once and for all, get to their root cause.

I’ve now set that Desire in motion by merely writing it here.

In Conclusion

Finally, now twenty-five years later, I feel like I understand what my mother was trying to say — and even if I’m wrong, it’s my decision and my life. Tough sh*t Mom, I forgive you. And I love you too.

Jennifer Friebely is a New York-based content writer, marketer, and speaker covering stories from personal development, bully bosses, the Law of Attraction, marketing, and productivity to politics and music to whatever idea strikes. She has a 30+ year background in marketing and advertising and holds a BA in Political Science. Email her at [email protected] or visit www.successpicture.com.